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I downsized when I turned 40. Of course under totally different circumstances from what you all are writing.
I got divorced and had the option of buying the house from my ex but chose not to. So he bought it from me.
I worked a full time job, kids were grown and out on their own, and knew I did not want to be responsible for the upkeep of a 3-bedroom raised ranch on (I think) a half acre. Lots of mowing in the summer. Long driveway to clear when it snowed. I took my half and bought a 2-bedroom condo.
I never looked back. Never missed that house or the neighborhood. My ex was fooling around with the next-door neighbor (I thought she was my friend). Why would I want to remain there?
I've made some mistakes along the way that cost me some big money and now do not have a "good" retirement. But you can't buy peace of mind and contentment.
Have her see a new doctor....writing off someone at age 81 isn't shared by most physicians. My mother had open heart quad bypass at 81....continued to travel, enjoy life, and live in her own home until age 92.
I'd take part of the living room and make a bathroom (if a small addition is out of the question) and bring her bed down to the living room. So basically she would have a bedroom and kitchen. If there's any way to let her be...
Of course she may thrive in a senior community. I think they get afraid of change.
This is such a great thread as I am beginning the process of clearing and organizing the house. DW and I are planning on selling our overly large (for us house) in about 5 years. I am a well equipped do it yourselfer and I am wondering where to draw the line. I am certain we will be traveling a few years early on and with no house to hold us back or cost us to keep we are considering a storage pod or two. Then there is where to keep that stuff stored at when the world's our oyster. Things like the bed may or may not travel with us so that is probably not a long term storage. What tools I have are important to me if we decide that after 2 or 3 years we want to settle back down will I want them. What will stay with the house for certain are the two snow throwers. Even if I want to do yard maintenance I doubt that is going to include snow removal and if it does I will just buy a new one. What I wonder is whether or not to keep my construction tools (air compressors (2), nail guns, air ratchet and impact tools). Do I also keep my portable work benches? What about all my sockets and wrenches? Do I dump them or keep them? How does anyone come to terms and cope with that change?
You spend a whole life collecting things you love, and a whole life aquiring Knowledge. Then you get old and people want you to get rid of the things you spent all that time getting and you forget all the knowledge you aquired
You spend a whole life collecting things you love, and a whole life aquiring Knowledge. Then you get old and people want you to get rid of the things you spent all that time getting and you forget all the knowledge you aquired
There's a symmetry to it: we all come into the world with nothing, and we all leave it with nothing. It's a hard thing to accept.
This is such a great thread as I am beginning the process of clearing and organizing the house. DW and I are planning on selling our overly large (for us house) in about 5 years. I am a well equipped do it yourselfer and I am wondering where to draw the line. I am certain we will be traveling a few years early on and with no house to hold us back or cost us to keep we are considering a storage pod or two. Then there is where to keep that stuff stored at when the world's our oyster. Things like the bed may or may not travel with us so that is probably not a long term storage. What tools I have are important to me if we decide that after 2 or 3 years we want to settle back down will I want them. What will stay with the house for certain are the two snow throwers. Even if I want to do yard maintenance I doubt that is going to include snow removal and if it does I will just buy a new one. What I wonder is whether or not to keep my construction tools (air compressors (2), nail guns, air ratchet and impact tools). Do I also keep my portable work benches? What about all my sockets and wrenches? Do I dump them or keep them? How does anyone come to terms and cope with that change?
We are finding that even in a condo, we need many tools so I would at least save all the portable ones. Probably not nail guns, but wrenches, drill---we need all those.
Even so, we find ourselves missing the bigger tools from time to time. Another biggie is that tools are crappy outside the U.S/Canada. At least here they are.
It was gut-wrenching for my husband to give away his life-time accumulation of tools. There's no easy answer.
This is such a great thread as I am beginning the process of clearing and organizing the house. DW and I are planning on selling our overly large (for us house) in about 5 years. I am a well equipped do it yourselfer and I am wondering where to draw the line. I am certain we will be traveling a few years early on and with no house to hold us back or cost us to keep we are considering a storage pod or two. Then there is where to keep that stuff stored at when the world's our oyster. Things like the bed may or may not travel with us so that is probably not a long term storage. What tools I have are important to me if we decide that after 2 or 3 years we want to settle back down will I want them. What will stay with the house for certain are the two snow throwers. Even if I want to do yard maintenance I doubt that is going to include snow removal and if it does I will just buy a new one. What I wonder is whether or not to keep my construction tools (air compressors (2), nail guns, air ratchet and impact tools). Do I also keep my portable work benches? What about all my sockets and wrenches? Do I dump them or keep them? How does anyone come to terms and cope with that change?
Depends on how long you plan to store the tools and other items. When the cost of storage for x years will be more than the cost of replacing the items, you may as well sell them now and rebuy what you need later.
Her knee seems to be giving more trouble, and that's making it harder to get around and do basic errands. My aunt is also widowed, but she also helps take care of her step-grandson (her stepson cheated on his wife and the wife has full custody, but is low income), isn't in the best health herself, and is likely to be laid off soon. My mother is too obese and cannot even get her own groceries and stuff without dad's help, so she's of no help really.
Aunt and I really just wish she'd be more accommodating of our schedules and what times we can do things.
I don't understand why you have to take her for groceries on Saturday -- the absolutely worst day to shop because of the crowds. Why can't YOU TELL HER when you can take her? What is she going to do if you tell her you will pick her up for shopping on Thursday after dinner because you can't do it on Saturday? Just because she is your grandma, doesn't mean you have to do it all her way now... you are a grownup now, no longer the little kid who always had to listen to the adults.
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