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Old 02-21-2017, 10:01 AM
 
1,168 posts, read 2,403,644 times
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My husband and I just returned from a week of skiing- he is 66 (and not retired) me 62-
anyhoo- he put a picture of us on his Facebook page and so many comments referred to how they couldn't believe we still skied at our age - or be careful not to break a hip- My God- neither of those things even occurred to us- in fact we can't wait till we are 70 because then we can ski for FREE!!!

I will give you one unsolicited observation though- after one catastrophic wipeout I have a bruise the size of Rhode Island on my a$$- I honestly don't remember getting bruises before after falling- but the slope was Icy and I think I hit a chunk when I fell.
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Old 02-21-2017, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Long Neck , DE
4,903 posts, read 3,037,054 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mschrief View Post
Keep your aches and pains to yourself. Don't talk about them. Be optimistic and upbeat.

Takes years off, really.
While I certainly don't complain it is hard to hide the fact that I am aging when people watch me get up from a chair or put on a coat. Body has slowed down and arthritis has set in. When discussing agemost folks still say I didn't think you were THAT OLD however.
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Old 02-21-2017, 10:29 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,497,588 times
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Originally Posted by longneckone View Post
While I certainly don't complain it is hard to hide the fact that I am aging when people watch me get up from a chair or put on a coat. Body has slowed down and arthritis has set in. When discussing age most folks still say I didn't think you were THAT OLD however.
I get that quite often but I think they're lying!
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Old 02-21-2017, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Haiku
4,121 posts, read 2,584,370 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yourown2feet View Post
Well, I realize I didn't phrase my initial post very well. It being such common knowledge that people age, wear out, and die, why do some feel compelled to mention it to those who turn up with some common ailment, and are over 50?

Why mention how it is only going to get worse with age?

Why not simply say, "I am sorry; hope you feel better soon"?
I would flip the question around and ask why it bothers you so much? Your complaint is just how people are. We do all sorts of odd things that make no sense. It's called being human.
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Old 02-21-2017, 12:08 PM
 
3,460 posts, read 2,202,288 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yourown2feet View Post
Well, I realize I didn't phrase my initial post very well. It being such common knowledge that people age, wear out, and die, why do some feel compelled to mention it to those who turn up with some common ailment, and are over 50?

Why mention how it is only going to get worse with age?

Why not simply say, "I am sorry; hope you feel better soon"?

Not just asking for myself. It seems to be a common thing to say to others, yet it's not news, isn't comforting, and I wouldn't think to say it unless somebody hurt themselves doing something crazy reckless, or was a constant complainer who talked about little else.

Is there a friendly aspect to these "reminders" that I am too dense to see?
The short answer is, people are stupid.

I use to listen to Earl Nightingale on cassette in the car. One of things he said, is that you shouldn't talk about your health to others unless it is good. Because it can't help you and it doesn't help others. So when it comes to your health or asking how you are doing, just say fine, because most people aren't smart enough to understand how important attitude is at any age.

You aren't dense at all. Just say "I'm doing fine" and talk about something which interests you, or ask them a question about something that interests you. And if that doesn't work, find positive people to have conversations with.

I have a retired neighbor who is 80 years of age and still does his own yard work. He is always cheerful and never complains about his health. He complains about other things, politics, poor workmanship and services by companies, but not about his health. Back to Earl Nightingale, we become what we focus on.
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Old 02-21-2017, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Central IL
15,251 posts, read 8,543,297 times
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Originally Posted by eastcoastguyz View Post
The short answer is, people are stupid.

I use to listen to Earl Nightingale on cassette in the car. One of things he said, is that you shouldn't talk about your health to others unless it is good. Because it can't help you and it doesn't help others. So when it comes to your health or asking how you are doing, just say fine, because most people aren't smart enough to understand how important attitude is at any age.

You aren't dense at all. Just say "I'm doing fine" and talk about something which interests you, or ask them a question about something that interests you. And if that doesn't work, find positive people to have conversations with.

I have a retired neighbor who is 80 years of age and still does his own yard work. He is always cheerful and never complains about his health. He complains about other things, politics, poor workmanship and services by companies, but not about his health. Back to Earl Nightingale, we become what we focus on.
People can certainly over-do talking about their health but I find it helpful sometimes to hear about other's experience with certain conditions or doctors. And as I get older, I'm constantly surprised by various changes in my body - things that just aren't documented anywhere. Either they are too minor, or too variable but aren't to be entirely unexpected as you get older. And not that you can't do anything about them - I want to hear about that too.

You know, dumb stuff like how you tend to choke more when swallowing because your reflex is not as coordinated when you get older. I remember my grandma - seems like every meal she'd have a coughing fit from something "going down the wrong way"...happens to me when I'm taking various supplements to keep myself healthy!
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Old 02-21-2017, 12:35 PM
 
26,591 posts, read 52,323,935 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eastcoastguyz View Post
The short answer is, people are stupid.

I use to listen to Earl Nightingale on cassette in the car. One of things he said, is that you shouldn't talk about your health to others unless it is good. Because it can't help you and it doesn't help others. So when it comes to your health or asking how you are doing, just say fine, because most people aren't smart enough to understand how important attitude is at any age.

You aren't dense at all. Just say "I'm doing fine" and talk about something which interests you, or ask them a question about something that interests you. And if that doesn't work, find positive people to have conversations with.

I have a retired neighbor who is 80 years of age and still does his own yard work. He is always cheerful and never complains about his health. He complains about other things, politics, poor workmanship and services by companies, but not about his health. Back to Earl Nightingale, we become what we focus on.
Dad was on a plane sitting next to a Doctor... they struck up a conversation and Dad said he has started feeling warm all the time which led to more discussion...

Had been to his regular Doc for checkups and said all was OK.

Simply talking to a stranger Dad learned he had Acute Lymphatic Leukemia... the Doc said go back and have your physician test for this as Dad had the classic signs...

Dad was not one to complain and never retired balancing between Chemo, Dialysis related to Chemo etc...

Simply talking to a stranger by happenstance was a blessing.

Last edited by Ultrarunner; 02-21-2017 at 05:56 PM..
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Old 02-21-2017, 12:36 PM
 
12,708 posts, read 14,089,349 times
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Three things that automatically come along with birth are aging, decaying and death, and though a fatal accident or disease could considerably shorten the process, these three things are our heritage. It be that way. If we are trying to wrestle against it then as we age every remark which confirms it or points to it is going to lodge in our skin like it was a personal insult. Added to which our present-day Culture of Offense encourages us to sandpaper our skin so thin that even a spring breeze is an affront.

It seems to me that, unfortunately, our culture and even our religions put major energy into avoiding this obvious truth about what comes along with birth. We are so desperate that we sugar coat the sugar coating. No wonder we are afraid as we age.

The clock keeps ticking whether we keep our health and vigor or whether we lose them early and rapidly, and while I guess everyone would prefer the first, nevertheless, we all age, decay and die in any case.

I am seventy-nine and my physical condition has taken major and very obvious blows beginning in 2005. I am not aware of very many people remarking that it "sucks to get old," though to be sure a very few have. It may be that these negative remarks are really more numerous but that I'm not taking them in, much like "Looks like rain" when the sky is filled with black clouds...perhaps they just automatically go into some mental "Of Course" box and that's the end of it.

Irrevocable as aging, decay and death are, they are not the entirety of life by any means even if it is the most predictable trajectory of life. The experience of living is filled with all sorts of events, and emotions, of every kind - pleasant and unpleasant - along that trajectory. But nothing lasts forever, and as with youth or good health, there is an end to it and then the next thing. If we are fortunate, much of it may be filled with wonder and happiness time and again. But everything as a beginning, a middle and an end. The big mistake is thinking we can snatch up our Stop! sign and jump in front of the Wabash Cannonball, and that it is going to screech to a halt.
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Old 02-21-2017, 12:48 PM
 
Location: SC
8,793 posts, read 5,663,767 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yourown2feet View Post
When I was younger, and was ill or had aches and pains, friends and relatives expressed sympathy.

Now they feel compelled to add remarks like "it's tough getting old" and the like. Makes me feel 100 years old, on top of whatever's wrong.

As an aside, I only share my ills when I must (e.g. have to cancel an engagement). I'm usually pretty chipper.
I feel it is true too... Getting old is not for the weak. Therefore, I think it is a good idea to build your strength and get into the best shape you can while aging.
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Old 02-21-2017, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,676,966 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eastcoastguyz View Post
The short answer is, people are stupid.

I use to listen to Earl Nightingale on cassette in the car. One of things he said, is that you shouldn't talk about your health to others unless it is good. Because it can't help you and it doesn't help others. So when it comes to your health or asking how you are doing, just say fine, because most people aren't smart enough to understand how important attitude is at any age.

You aren't dense at all. Just say "I'm doing fine" and talk about something which interests you, or ask them a question about something that interests you. And if that doesn't work, find positive people to have conversations with.

I have a retired neighbor who is 80 years of age and still does his own yard work. He is always cheerful and never complains about his health. He complains about other things, politics, poor workmanship and services by companies, but not about his health. Back to Earl Nightingale, we become what we focus on.
The one thing I dislike about living in a senior complex is that too many people want to always talk about all their aches and pains and ailments all the time. Becoming ill is going to happen to some people as they age but many of those I meet act as if this is a new phenomenon that has struck only them.

I will listen and sympathize because I don't want to seem uncaring, but only to a point. I'll try to change the conversation if they keep continuing on and on. If that doesn't work, I'll just politely excuse myself.

Sometimes I think this is the only thing some people have to talk about.
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