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Old 08-22-2017, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Lake Grove
2,753 posts, read 1,978,332 times
Reputation: 4459

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TMKSarah View Post
Has anyone known of someone that ran out of money?
I knew of three people, all of whom were unwilling to say no to their kids. The kids were happy to take, take, take, until the parents wound up in nursing homes on medicaid.

One person made her father work until well into his 80s after blowing all of his money because his SS and pension weren't enough for her. It was the most pathetic thing I'd ever seen.
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Old 08-22-2017, 05:50 PM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,798 posts, read 4,848,703 times
Reputation: 19509
My mom was a waitress for her entire life. Most of her income, which was our sole family support, was from tips. When diabetes sidelined her at 60 with severe neuropathy and kidney disease she had to go on SDI and SSI. Her total income between the two was $661. We got her into subsidized housing which took one third of her income as rent. They also took $185 as her payment for the mandatory meal plan in the independent living subsidized place she lived. That provided only one meal per day (dinner). So that left her with about $250 for all her other needs for the month. She was on Medicaid/Medicare (due to her disability she was eligible for Medicare). We contributed on the sly, because if the government found out we were providing support they would cut back her support and potentially remove her from Medicaid. That would have been a disaster as she required 13 surgeries in 3 years and we wouldn't have been able to pay for even ONE. I provided groceries and all her transportation. She couldn't live with me or they would take away what little support she got, and I was at work 12 hours per day over an hour from home. She needed to be near support if she fell. She did fall and broke both arms at one point, but she got to the call button and was rescued.

It was a miserable life for her, though we did what we could to make it better. We bought her groceries, took her out to eat, and bought her clothes, etc. We got her an IHSS worker who came to do her cleaning and laundry twice a week for a couple hours. Because she died at 65, and never worked at a full wage (waitresses make sub-minimum) she never really got SS of any more than her SDI/SSI amount.

I wouldn't wish this life on a dog. I don't recommend running out of money.
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Old 08-25-2017, 04:35 PM
 
235 posts, read 257,979 times
Reputation: 291
I would love to enjoy all my money and die with $1 in my pocket. I have no kids. Maybe that's why seniors do reverse mortgages, to squeeze as much as they can out before the end..
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Old 08-25-2017, 09:42 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,563,101 times
Reputation: 16777
If it comes to it, I have a room which is also a bedroom, infact the biggest room. My house is small and I just don't know how well having to put up with another human being, but if someone needed a place, would be ok living in a small Oklahoma town, and liked four legged fur babies, I'd consider sharing costs. I have a very wary feeling about it as I'm very noctural and someone who gets up with the sun wouldn't exactly work. I revel in my space being my own, but am scared about being stuck with a barely surviving income just because I didn't every really succeed in jobs because of health.

I read about some of the places where people basically rent rooms, and how they have 'services' like food provided. What if you don't like the food? What if your a night person and like sleeping in in the morning? I try to put these things out of my mind since at least with my little house in a cheap state I can manage on a very small budget and do okay. A roomate with suitable lifestyle (not bothered by the tv at 3am) would be possible but not one who was very different from me.

Mod cut.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-31-2017 at 02:55 PM.. Reason: Political commentary.
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Old 08-28-2017, 08:21 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,685 posts, read 3,254,622 times
Reputation: 12002
TheShadow: My heart goes out to you and your late mother. As I was reading your post, it made me realize how many people are in that predicament. And what is our country with so much wealth doing to fix things. Not a thing, as far as I can tell. I am sorry to say I have no faith in our country. The way they treat the aged and poor is shameful. And yet our politicians think nothing of voting themselves raises and take many vacations (I am pretty sure "we" pay for those vacations).

God bless you for all that you did for your mother. I had a mother and sister in similar situations, I often think I should have done more for them.
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Old 08-28-2017, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,798 posts, read 4,848,703 times
Reputation: 19509
Thank you NYgal.

The craziest thing was the rules for getting public assistance made it difficult for family to help. You had to hide your help by paying for things the government wouldn't find out about. At one point, right after she stopped working, but before we got her disability approved, we had to apply for her to get public assistance (welfare).

We had moved her into the cheapest nearby apartment we could find, rent was about $50 more than her entire welfare check for the month. So welfare dept. required her to turn in rent receipts, and when they saw that her rent was higher than her welfare they took away her welfare because she was getting help from *somewhere* and not telling them. So I called the welfare people and explained, and they said for every dollar I give her they will take one away. So they wanted her to live on $275 month, with no outside help, but there was no housing available at that price. They said she would need to apply for Section 8. I said we'd already applied, and they said "we know but the waiting list for apartments is over a year". So I asked what was she supposed to do until then? I said "Can she come live with me until her name comes up on the list?" They said no, if she lives with me she is not eligible for ANY assistance, not even Medicaid. She was an extremely sick woman with multiple major health problems stemming from years of untreated diabetes. There was no way to pay for her medical treatment if she moved in with me. It was all like some crazy, inexplicable catch-22. I even tried to get her approved as my dependent on my health insurance through work, and that was a no-go unless she was declared mentally incompetent, or she was over 65 and listed on my prior year's tax return as a dependent.

Like I said, it's best not to run out of money, if at all possible!
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Old 08-28-2017, 10:35 AM
 
519 posts, read 431,327 times
Reputation: 981
When asked about bankruptcy, Ernest Hemingway wrote: it happened slowly at first; and then, all of a sudden.

Thankfully, I still remain squarely in the first phase...
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Old 08-28-2017, 10:47 AM
 
Location: USA
1,815 posts, read 2,245,143 times
Reputation: 4139
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
Thank you NYgal.

The craziest thing was the rules for getting public assistance made it difficult for family to help. You had to hide your help by paying for things the government wouldn't find out about. At one point, right after she stopped working, but before we got her disability approved, we had to apply for her to get public assistance (welfare).

We had moved her into the cheapest nearby apartment we could find, rent was about $50 more than her entire welfare check for the month. So welfare dept. required her to turn in rent receipts, and when they saw that her rent was higher than her welfare they took away her welfare because she was getting help from *somewhere* and not telling them. So I called the welfare people and explained, and they said for every dollar I give her they will take one away. So they wanted her to live on $275 month, with no outside help, but there was no housing available at that price. They said she would need to apply for Section 8. I said we'd already applied, and they said "we know but the waiting list for apartments is over a year". So I asked what was she supposed to do until then? I said "Can she come live with me until her name comes up on the list?" They said no, if she lives with me she is not eligible for ANY assistance, not even Medicaid. She was an extremely sick woman with multiple major health problems stemming from years of untreated diabetes. There was no way to pay for her medical treatment if she moved in with me. It was all like some crazy, inexplicable catch-22. I even tried to get her approved as my dependent on my health insurance through work, and that was a no-go unless she was declared mentally incompetent, or she was over 65 and listed on my prior year's tax return as a dependent.

Like I said, it's best not to run out of money, if at all possible!


Shadow -- I think I would have lost it with the case worker. Where did she expect your mother to go? Live under a bridge or something?


I dated a man whose maiden aunt was almost in the same situation, only she had no children to help. She was living in a tiny closet size room on next to nothing. She had worked all her life as a secretary, but her wages were so low that her SS was a pittance. She needed extensive dental work, but didn't have the funds and Medicaid wouldn't pay.


Her idea of a great dinner out was Kentucky Fried Chicken. She kept asking if we were sure we wanted to take her there as it was so expensive.


Broke my heart
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Old 08-28-2017, 12:32 PM
 
1,291 posts, read 294,647 times
Reputation: 1539
I have an aunt who lives on very little money. She does have a roof over her head but it comes with a small mortgage which is a significant portion of her income. I send her money from time to time but her situation remains less than ideal.

Throughout her life with my uncle, they made decisions for the now. They went on vacations frequently. They bought and sold properties for income and my uncle worked sporadic years, never more than five, as an electrical draftsman (contractor). Nobody in the family ever worried about them because they looked like they were living amazing lives. Nobody really knew how little they were saving or paying into social security. Apparently, it wasn't much.

My dad was smart but not educated. He worked for the railroad for 40+ years. He worked long nights, holidays, and would be away for days at a time. My uncle often told him he was missing out on life and that he himself would NEVER work weekends. Fast forward to today, both my father and my uncle are gone and my mother is much better off financially than my aunt. Her house is modest but paid off and she supplements her income with a pet business. She has osteoporosis and still manages to walk dogs. People would call her fortunate, but luck has had little to do with her financial outcome. Situations are built out of planning and effort.

This is the kind of thread young people need to see. Chances are they are going to make it to their advanced years, and nobody wants to end up in a no-money-for-retirement situation. Obviously there are no guarantees, but the odds can be tilted in their favor if education leads to the right choices/habits to move towards a financially secure future.
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Old 08-28-2017, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,798 posts, read 4,848,703 times
Reputation: 19509
It's weird. It's almost like some people, who know how, have worked the system for years. They're not doing great, but at least they are housed, fed, and getting Medicaid. For someone who worked hard their whole life at menial jobs, with no benefits, and never took any assistance, trying to navigate the insane rules and hoops you have to jump through to get help is frustrating and there are traps at every turn. Without help from family, and someone who can be persistent in acquiring aid, it's easy to see how folks end up under the bridges.
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