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Old 02-26-2017, 06:48 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,753 posts, read 7,033,290 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
they both better or you became a financial burden to one of them which is something i would never want to do to any of our kids . nothing breaks up a family and a marriage quicker .

just wait until one kid steps up to the plate and the others step back . that has busted up more siblings in fights and hostility than anything else .

when a spouse is involved it can never end well when they start with why are we being burdened and your brothers and sisters do nothing ?
I'm very lucky in that my husband has always been very supportive about helping out my mother. She's got a long history of pretty much being subsidized one way or another by either me, or my sister, has come to depend on it and assumes it will always be there. It's hard as she's tended to make poor choices, and expected that we would save her from the financial and other consequences of those choices. And I always done the best I could as I can't see my mother living under a bridge.

But, we have set limits on her dependence on us, as she doesn't recognize boundaries on her own. One of those is that she cannot live with us (been there done that, with both us and my sister, and let's just say no one was happy with those arrangements), especially since our retirement home is smaller than the house we lived in when she lived with us, she wouldn't have the privacy or space she demands, and our adult daughter already lives with us. We're also retired, and while we're very comfortable financially, we figure we have to also set a limit on how much we can give her so we don't end up running out of money. So far she's been ok with that. Would be unfortunate if she wasn't, because that's it.

T
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Old 02-26-2017, 07:18 AM
 
71,550 posts, read 71,712,424 times
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most stories never have happy endings when children have to support the parents . you are lucky . we have done everything we could including making sure we have long term care insurance so we never saddle our kids with supporting us .

we don't want anyone of them to take a financial hit , a career hit or a social hit because we planned badly

Last edited by mathjak107; 02-26-2017 at 07:26 AM..
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Old 02-26-2017, 07:22 AM
 
25,985 posts, read 32,990,963 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TMKSarah View Post
What do you think will happen to the retired population that runs out of money before they die?
Same as it always has been.
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Old 02-26-2017, 07:23 AM
 
25,985 posts, read 32,990,963 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
I'm counting on my kids to help me if I do run out of money. I'm sure with 2 kids, at least there is an increase in probability that one might turn billionaire someday, I hope.
Dang. Really? That's pretty sad.
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Old 02-26-2017, 07:26 AM
 
3,803 posts, read 2,015,497 times
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Children supporting them.
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Old 02-26-2017, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Paranoid State
13,047 posts, read 10,437,354 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TMKSarah View Post
What do you think will happen to the retired population that runs out of money before they die?
Retirees, even retirees who didn't save enough assets during their working careers, are not dumb. You don't lose 30 IQ points just because you retire.

So, more than likely, retirees who realize they didn't save enough during their working careers will reduce expenditures -- perhaps to a level that is uncomfortable or beyond that to nearly unthinkable. But they will adapt.

Economists know that we will never, for example, "run out of oil." Why? As oil becomes scarce, its price goes up and we consume less of it. That is, collectively we react & adapt.

Similarly, retirees with limited assets will react & adapt.

Last edited by SportyandMisty; 02-26-2017 at 09:05 AM..
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Old 02-26-2017, 08:19 AM
 
71,550 posts, read 71,712,424 times
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that is exactly what happened . when my parents could not afford life in nyc they headed south to cheapsville and adapted .
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Old 02-26-2017, 09:19 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,753 posts, read 7,033,290 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
most stories never have happy endings when children have to support the parents . you are lucky . we have done everything we could including making sure we have long term care insurance so we never saddle our kids with supporting us .

we don't want anyone of them to take a financial hit , a career hit or a social hit because we planned badly
We did the same. I know retirement ambitions are different for different folks, but part of our plan was to be as debt free as possible when we retired. That and our own needs and wants are relatively simple. That's helped a great to help us put the money we have where it's needed, and to even save a decent portion for contingencies, and to make it last as long as we live, hopefully. And to have what we consider an excellent quality of life.

It's funny how people ( I'm thinking family members mostly, LOL) think you're "rich" when what you're doing is managing the money you have well. Sometimes I think they think we are Mr. and Mrs. Daddy Warbucks. Ok, rant over.
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Old 02-26-2017, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Paranoid State
13,047 posts, read 10,437,354 times
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My father died unexpectedly on his 47th birthday when I was 12 years old, leaving behind an unsophisticated widow ill-prepared to become a head-of-household and 3 children: my mentally retarded younger sister, my high-functioning autistic older brother, and me. I grew up on the wrong side of the railroad tracks in a very high crime/high poverty/very blighted area. Actually, if God decided Earth needed an enema, He would surely choose that neighborhood for the point of application.

Fast forward many decades and some financial success: I bought my mom a nice house in a nice, clean, safe 55+ retirement community nearby; my older brother lives at home with her (my sister passed a long time ago). She's 89 now, still has all her faculties, and I make sure she has everything she could want/need. Ditto for my brother.

My mom is very old-school. As with so many of her generation who grew up during the Great Depression, she never wanted to be an economic burden and was too proud to ever accept help from government entitlement programs or from me. She would have been content living in that old high crime area. But enough was enough - helicopters circling overhead shining spotlights, police sirens all night long, etc. One day there was an abandoned car in the street in front of her apartment with a dead body in it (OD). One block over, another elderly woman opened her front door to yell at a 14 year old kid who was tagging the mailbox on the street; the kid pulled out a gun and shot her (she died).

Ultimately I just didn't give her a vote. I bought her a house and informed her (didn't ask her) that I would arrive with boxes & a Budget rent-a-truck & I was moving her out of that cesspool to the new 55+ community in a different state about 3 hours away. "Why, what in the world am I going to do in that new community where I don't know anyone?" she asked. My reply: "Exactly the same thing you do here, except you will do it there and the area is nice, clean and safe."

Although my older brother is autistic, he is able to drive a car. That helps; he can take her shopping, to get a haircut, etc.
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Old 02-26-2017, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,233 posts, read 8,523,201 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
I'm counting on my kids to help me if I do run out of money. I'm sure with 2 kids, at least there is an increase in probability that one might turn billionaire someday, I hope.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Dang. Really? That's pretty sad.
Most people don't PLAN to run out of money so I suppose, if you have kids, you figure if the worst possible thing happens and you've done everything in your own power then there's the chance your kids will step in. I may be speaking for NewbieHere but I'd wager they aren't just living the good life now saying the kids will handle everything later!

I mean, when you've done EVERYTHING you can, you hope your kids will do SOMETHING, right - what else is there? It's not so much a plan as a hope or a wish... I mean in my case, with no kids, if all my savings and plans go awry I guess I'll have to "count on" the kindness of strangers! - but I'm not planning on it!
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