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My partner's brother was just found dead in his home at age 63. He was an alcoholic who would go on a bender, not eat and become extremely dehydrated and malnourished.
He was hospitlalized several times. I'm sure he was counseled to quit drinking, or he'd die. And, that's what happened.
My father in law was sitting in the car while his nurse drove him home from church. She said he gave a big sigh so she looked over at him and she knew he was gone.
Now that's the way to go.
I only hope I go that way too.
I don't even want to think about the Op's options.
Well, what the hell, I'll go for this one, I just found out a couple of days ago that my high school sweetheart died, and he was not "that" old. He had a major stroke about 7 years ago that left him without speech & in a wheelchair...he never really recovered from that. That was pretty awful.
Or, Alzheimer's, which my father had...and his mother had...and 4 of his siblings had...the other 3 died of cancer, in a farming accident, in a war, so who knows?
You left out diabetes and heart failure. For the last ten years, I became my parents primary caretaker, leaving my job in 2007 after my dad had a stroke and I saw the inexcusable care they were giving him in the homes. He had been diabetic for nearly 50 years and as a result had a severe case of charcot feet. He was lucky only to lose one toe due to infection during his lifetime, but the stroke hit when he was 75.
My mother, brother, and I took care of him for the next 4.5 years until he passed. My brother could only do the minimal as he had wife and several growing kids. The stroke caused almost total loss of bowel function, so sometimes his depends had to be changed 6-8 times daily (which I had to do because my mother was also his age and had a bad back). He actually did get well enough to walk with a walker, but he never had a good quality of life after the stroke, that's for sure. And he had another stroke within a year after the first which left him with bad swallowing reflex and a speech impediment. I won't even get into the difficulties we had handling the swallowing issues. I'll just say that it puts normal eating of food like you and I have into a whole new perspective.
Just before my dad passed in 2011, my mom calls out for me one morning at 4 AM in December. She was having a hard time breathing. Took her to the hospital and she was in heart failure. IV lasix was administered and she was then ok for the next five years. She had had a heart attack in 2005 and the MD's suggested she have triple bypass then, but she didn't want to have it. After her heart failure in 2011, the MD strongly recommended bypass which she had just before Christmas of that year. It is my belief that the heart surgery caused a mild stroke. She didn't know me for a while after the surgery and had trouble remembering the names of places and some objects. Her walking was also never quite the same, but within a year, she seemed to be almost her normal self. I tried to get some clarification from the MD's about this, but not one would admit to stroke. Three years later after a fall and I took her for head scan, the MD came out and asked if she had ever had a stroke because a mild one showed on the MRI. Go figure.
My mom finally passed in August of 2016 after a fall where she broke her upper arm and while in rehab, due to an error, she wasn't getting the lasix she had been taking for ten years. This caused fatal heart failure. I'm actually the one who discovered the missing medicine because she was getting shorter and shorter of breath, but by the time it was resumed, it was too late.
So now I'm jobless at 47, single and no family other than brother and his kids, after being their primary caretaker for ten years. You speak of retirement and the way I see it I don't have a prayer, so not sure where I'm going to go or what I'm going to do next. I had been a high school teacher before all of the health issues with my parents occurred.
Last edited by Jon Iverson; 02-27-2017 at 05:46 AM..
Parkinson's is about as bad as it gets. But I knew a guy who had some weird muscle disease. His limbs were all twisted almost useless, but his mind was sharp and clear. All he could do was lay in bed and watch tv. The aid even had to change channels for him. That's the worst I've seen.
This sounds very similar to the fate of someone with MS. Oh its horrible, I won't even go into it. Loved one couldn't even watch tv as the drugs the last 2 years made her dizzy. Couldn't talk correctly for years. Lived with it for 37 years, was diagnosed in at 12. Of course about 25 years were fairly normal, married had children, worked. Last 3 years were total hell.
Good news is there are better drugs than there were once in the past.
Drowning. The thought of being under water gasping for air terrifies me. Unfortunately in my career I've seen more death than any human should, images still haunt me.
I knew a type 2 diabetic who lost both legs, went blind, was on kidney dialysis, and getting close to losing a hand before he died. He spent the last 4 yrs of his life in a nursing home, and was only 65 when he died.
I knew a type 2 diabetic who lost both legs, went blind, was on kidney dialysis, and getting close to losing a hand before he died. He spent the last 4 yrs of his life in a nursing home, and was only 65 when he died.
I always felt my dad was pretty lucky, until he had the stroke that is. Never really watched his sugar, took a big shot of 20 units humulin in the morning and that was it. I was amazed he was still walking with walker 6 months before he passed.
One thing it taught me was to try and eat healthy and keep my weight down, which I have been doing for the past 20 years. All it takes is once to see someone you love suffer with something with one of the primary enemies being food. My mother also ended up type II, but hers never occurred until after age 65. She was fine until suddenly her sugar soared and she had to go on insulin at 75. The MD never had a reason for the sudden sugar increase, but I always thought it was her Lipitor. They quickly changed that once her sugar got bad.
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