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I was seeing DH, who is 66, off to work this morning and as with every morning he was groaning and making faces. I told him, "Look, if you decide you want to stop doing this, we'll find a way to peacefully co-exist without me turning homicidal because you're home all the time."
Then I had a thought. "Why not take a six-month sabbatical? They won't pay you for it but we can afford it. Some time away from the job may be just what you need to make up your mind."
I was seeing DH, who is 66, off to work this morning and as with every morning he was groaning and making faces. I told him, "Look, if you decide you want to stop doing this, we'll find a way to peacefully co-exist without me turning homicidal because you're home all the time."
Then I had a thought. "Why not take a six-month sabbatical? They won't pay you for it but we can afford it. Some time away from the job may be just what you need to make up your mind."
I'm trying to persuade him to retire. The man is more stubborn than that entire mule train pulling a wagon of borax. He complains about the job all the time. Hates the commute.
I'm the problem-solver. The solution seems obvious to me. But if he won't retire, how about a sabbatical? A kind of mini-retirement where he has time to be away from work and find out what really matters?
It may be that work is what really matters. But it would be worthwhile to find out.
Then I had a thought. "Why not take a six-month sabbatical? They won't pay you for it but we can afford it. Some time away from the job may be just what you need to make up your mind."
Did you take a sabbatical? Did it help?
A sabbatical was not an option for me but it sounds like your idea is a sound one for him and perhaps you as well as a test time for both.
No sabbatical notwithstanding I knew when it was time to go so I did. I was drained and losing my "edge." Retirement was the right decision at the right time for me.
.......... "Look, if you decide you want to stop doing this, we'll find a way to peacefully co-exist without me turning homicidal because you're home all the time."
.............
With that prospect for retirement, I think I would also continue to work.
I know you meant it to be funny, but, a statement in your OP begs an answer: "Would you be unable to peacefully co-exist if he was home all the time?" --- Is this perhaps why (at age 66), he continues to dread and complain about work every day, yet, remains unwilling to retire?
The company I retired from had several thousand employees. On a main bulletin board they post retirements and obituaries. One obvious thing happened, the ones that retired before normal retirement age made it 15-30 years in retirement, but those that retired at say 65 and older almost all died with in a few years.
As far as the OP husband is refusing to retire, I would not irritate him with thoughts of retirement. The best thing to do would be to support him and let him complain about work, because the alternative could be an early grave. A retiree has to deal with a shock to their system and the older they get the more likely possibility for depression.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Sabbatical? Yes, took many, and still do (even while retired)
Sometimes together, sometimes solo.
We often travel solo, or with friends / family. Often apart for more than a month (usually on international travel, or eldercare)
Each are very capable of peacefully co-exist - and peacefully solo-exist. We give each other a LOT of space.
I suggest NOT doing a sabbatical that is intensive time together. We just completed a RTW one yr trip and it was a stretch to be so close day in and day out. (such as tents and campervans..) too close for comfort, tho we survived.
Think you might want to read the book "Margin", or "Boundaries".
Paperbackbookswap is great!
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