Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I woke up with this thought this morning. The more we know, positive or negative, the more layers of stress issues we take on in our bodies and minds. I don't need that in my older years, it takes a lot of my energy just to keep me going.
I've read some comments here how parents want to be closer and more involved in their adult children's lives and I wonder how good is that...Maybe some can do it really well and many can't. When my daughter married she ended up so controlled by the ex husband that she could not handle mother being involved..he did not want parents in their marriage. And I get that.
I know when she got me involved in some tough stuff, the added stress to me was horrific.
My mother and dad didn't know a 1/4 about my adult life, postive and negatives. When I announced my ex and I were going thru a divorce, my dad wanted to get a gun and shoot him. I said, dad, stop that talk, this is not your decision.
We bring children into the world and they grow up and become "responsible" adults (Hopefully) and need to handle their own potholes in their lives. I figured MOST of my stuff out on my own and with help from professionals and friends.
Food For THOUGHT.
Last edited by jaminhealth; 06-07-2017 at 10:01 AM..
Certain things are parent's business, and others aren't. The key is figuring out where to draw a boundary. Boundaries with family are so important. Some people "overshare" their personal business, and others hide secrets that shouldn't be hidden. There's a fine line between being supportive and caring, and inserting yourself where you don't belong.
jaminhealth, I agree with you, and not just about my children's business, but about the world in general.
I have a friend who is always amazed when we talk and I haven't watched the news in a few days. I don't feel the need. I vote, and I try to make an informed choice, so I am a little more vigilant around election time, but day to day, I am not interested in what is going on in the political arena.
My children are old enough and smart enough to run their own lives. If they need me, or want to talk, they get in touch. I haven't yet reached the point where they think they need to worry about me (thank goodness).
I think leaving the running of the world to the younger generations is one of the nicest things about being old. I find that at my age, I am more interested in history, and surprisingly (to me) this interest has helped me to understand more of what is going on in the world today than watching the daily news.
jaminhealth, I agree with you, and not just about my children's business, but about the world in general.
I have a friend who is always amazed when we talk and I haven't watched the news in a few days. I don't feel the need. I vote, and I try to make an informed choice, so I am a little more vigilant around election time, but day to day, I am not interested in what is going on in the political arena.
My children are old enough and smart enough to run their own lives. If they need me, or want to talk, they get in touch. I haven't yet reached the point where they think they need to worry about me (thank goodness).
I think leaving the running of the world to the younger generations is one of the nicest things about being old. I find that at my age, I am more interested in history, and surprisingly (to me) this interest has helped me to understand more of what is going on in the world today than watching the daily news.
Good topic!
I too agree with you, there is an expression, what someone thinks of me is none of my business and also other people's lives are not my business..unless they want you in their lives and business.
On the news thing, I've gotten rid of cable and saving myself close to $60/month and listen to NPR or local radio and if I really want to be kept up to date, check out the political group here on C-D..they all know everything and everyone is correct.....grrrrrrrrrr
I may get an indoor antenna hookup and get some free tv.
What I've seen too, is the more money there is for the children when the parents are gone the more the parents and children are involved. And then there are children who really care about their aging parents and are there for them at the drop of a dime.
We know a lot about what the kids are up too. /lol
A lot of it is wild party ways, but honestly, my husband and I were like that at that age. I would rather have them be open and honest, and listen to reasonable guidance, then hide stuff and end doing something epically stupid.
We are not on their social media, but they have a tendency to show us what the other is up to. Tattle tales.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Most people want to remain close to family. If they are overburdening you, then distance yourself accordingly.
You can be close without letting them know all your business.
I never let my mom know what was going on in my personal life. Didn't mean we were not close. It meant we had a stress free relationship. She had enough problems with the one or two that didn't follow this.
I never got to share any of the negatives in my life with my family because they were very busy telling me all the negatives in their lives and were not interested in hearing anything about mine.
My divorce was a huge surprise to them. Same with problems I had with my kids. Nobody really cared.
But I got through it and I think I did pretty well.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
