U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-04-2017, 03:20 PM
 
4,312 posts, read 1,285,865 times
Reputation: 3393

Advertisements

If you are very lucky and you happen to find the right person, and you enjoy the same kinds of things, then marriage could probably make you happy.

On the other hand, if you didn't find the right person, or you never cared about getting married, there are lots of other things that could make you happy.

And no matter how wonderful your life may turn out to be, it is human nature to be miserable at least part of the time.

So whatever you chose, or whatever you randomly fell into, I think what matters is are you spending time doing things you like.

One of the main things American couples do together (I would guess) is watch TV shows. I don't watch TV, and it would probably be very hard for me to find a male American who doesn't.

And if I did find one, who's to say he would like any of the things I like. And if you don't like doing things together, what is the point?

I can understand the need for marriage for people who need a lot of sex. I really don't. Or if you need someone to talk to constantly. I really don't.

If I ever did start feeling lonely I would get a dog.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-04-2017, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,744,100 times
Reputation: 32304
Quote:
Originally Posted by yourown2feet View Post
That - after all you've managed to overcome and achieve - you actually think of yourself as someone who can only aspire to "convince" "some poor sucker," a "Mr. Wrong," to marry you (and even just to stick around), is hard to believe. It says more about you than it does about marriage.

I think my spouse is lucky to have married me, and vice versa. We do a whole lot more for each other than help pay the rent and utilities.

Methinks thou dost protest too much. O.K., you are happily married, and that's all to the good, but there is no reason to feel threatened by the OP. Some people are quite content living alone, and that doesn't mean they are hermits or recluses either. One can enjoy the company of other people and still enjoy living alone.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-04-2017, 03:26 PM
 
4,312 posts, read 1,285,865 times
Reputation: 3393
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Methinks thou dost protest too much. O.K., you are happily married, and that's all to the good, but there is no reason to feel threatened by the OP. Some people are quite content living alone, and that doesn't mean they are hermits or recluses either. One can enjoy the company of other people and still enjoy living alone.
Yeah I love being in the company of others, and then being able to go home afterwards and be alone.

Since I have been single for a long time, I know how to go out and get involved in things on my own. I always have a lot of social things going on. Otherwise, maybe I would go nuts.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-04-2017, 03:26 PM
 
243 posts, read 120,026 times
Reputation: 560
I remarried at 55. I am very grateful that my husband and I are a team. This became very apparent when I recently broke my arm and had to have surgery.

It isn't that he does everything for me. In fact, after the first couple of days. "all" he has done is put in my eye drops. But he's there. I'm a person who likes my own company, but it has been awesome to have someone who cares.

I have two kids who live 15-30 miles away. But they have jobs and their own families. It was nice to be able to tell them that we had everything under control.

I'm not advocating you go find a Mr. Wrong. But don't discount that marriage works well for some of us.

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-04-2017, 03:28 PM
 
4,312 posts, read 1,285,865 times
Reputation: 3393
Another thing I like about being single -- sometimes I get so busy there is no time for housework and my place is a disaster. Since I don't have a husband, there is no one to complain.

I am just worried I will die when the place is a mess.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-04-2017, 03:28 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,760 posts, read 7,041,256 times
Reputation: 14295
Quote:
Originally Posted by Good4Nothin View Post
It sounds like the most pathetic thing in the world -- an old single lady. But is it really?

I was married during my twenties, to Mr. Wrong. What a miserable experience that was! When that (mercifully) ended, I fell in love with Mr. Wrong II, who was not willing or able to marry me and make my life heaven.

I had to do everything for myself -- figure out how to make money, decide where to live, get the car fixed, etc., etc. It was not easy and it was not fun, but we are programmed to survive.

I changed careers, went back to school, lived on very little, saved money. It was all difficult but in some ways rewarding, and nice to know I could survive without any help from anyone. Meanwhile, my mother became disabled and I had that responsibility on top of everything else. And my siblings were just what you'd expect -- no help at all!

So now, I am semi-retired, I have friends and hobbies and interests and it's pretty great having some time for things I love doing. Still seeing Mr. Wrong II, maybe once a week, and he still doesn't help much with anything.

So, sometimes I tell myself -- if I were MARRIED, my rent plus utilities would be only HALF what they are now. And my life would be much EASIER.

So let's just say I convinced Mr. Wrong II, or some other poor sucker, to marry me -- would it be worth it?

My rent + utilities is about $1200/month, and with a husband it would be about $600. $600/month is $5,000/year. That's all I'm really losing, not such a big deal, imo.

And what do I get for that $5,000/year? No one to bicker with. No TV blasting constantly in the background. No one asking me where I'm going and when I'll be back. No one being careless with money and running up the credit cards.

Ok, so what do you think? Is all that worth $5,000/year?
IMO all the money in the world would not make it worth being married to Mr. Wrong.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-04-2017, 03:30 PM
 
4,312 posts, read 1,285,865 times
Reputation: 3393
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernSusana View Post

I'm not advocating you go find a Mr. Wrong. But don't discount that marriage works well for some of us.

I never discounted that marriage works for some of you.

It is nice to have help when you're sick, for a short while. But if I were really sick for a very long time I would hate to make someone my servant. If I had a husband or kids I really would try not to use them in that way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-04-2017, 03:31 PM
 
4,312 posts, read 1,285,865 times
Reputation: 3393
Since I was my mother's servant for a long time (while working more than full time), I know how stressful and isolating that can be.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-04-2017, 04:21 PM
 
Location: SoCal
13,235 posts, read 6,340,776 times
Reputation: 9854
I'd watch our for Mr Wrong III.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-04-2017, 07:11 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
28 posts, read 20,106 times
Reputation: 98
I married young. He was 24 and I was 19. Life was good.

We had two properties and money in the bank before our mid thirties. After twenty-four years and two children, Mr. Right became Mr. Wrong. We divorced.

It's been 15 years and I had to struggle financially to get where I am now, but it was worth it.

Regardless of finances, I would not start a new life with Mr. Wrong.

Peace of mind is priceless.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top