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Old 03-06-2017, 11:53 PM
 
8,224 posts, read 10,784,825 times
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Why are the pro marriage posters bashing the OP?

She did not bash marriage at all,so what gives?
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Old 03-06-2017, 11:57 PM
 
8,224 posts, read 10,784,825 times
Reputation: 7621
Quote:
Originally Posted by dblackga View Post
I think that if you've gotten to the point of making it a financial decision, instead of a decision based on love and mutual respect, then you're better off single.
Sorry to tell you this,but people only very recently married for love.
Heck,most nations(besides First World) people marry for business.

Marriage has been a business arrangement for thousands of years.

Marry for business first,then love follows IMO.
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Old 03-07-2017, 12:57 AM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,972 posts, read 3,457,347 times
Reputation: 10494
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Why are the pro marriage posters bashing the OP?

She did not bash marriage at all,so what gives?
I wonder that too. The post was obvious to all of us who were relishing our single hood.
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Old 03-07-2017, 06:55 AM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,954 posts, read 7,391,767 times
Reputation: 16283
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie View Post
Exactly! Loneliness is not always just a condition of being physically alone, I don't think there's much deeper loneliness than being in a relationship where the "SO" doesn't really give a damn anymore whether you live or die, you live your own lives and there is little communication or interaction. Or when you have to walk on eggshells, give up any idea of yourself as an individual to cater to every whim of the SO because that is expected of you.

And I say that from the perspective of a 37 yr old marriage to "Mr. Right", a man I consider my soulmate, who's devoted to me (and I to him) and to our relationship, a symbiosis that's brought out the best in both of us, given us strength to go through life's vicissitudes and joys. I've seen what such a relationship can be, I don't think I could accept any less at this point. And I'm forever grateful at being able to experience this. I know not everyone is this lucky.

So that's why I say, IMO, being married to Mr. Wrong would be much worse than being alone.
Great post Especially coming from someone in a happy marriage - you definitely get it.
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Old 03-07-2017, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Arizona
183 posts, read 112,039 times
Reputation: 734
I don't see anything sad or pathetic about being elderly/old and single if the person in that position is happy but some of the reasons listed for not being married are simply one person's skewed negative opinion of what marriage is. It's not bashing but it is a gross generalization. (and I see men taking the hit on this one...really not fair)

Saying one's life can be just as fulfilling without a partner is not the same as using a bad marriage to compare the two. (single vs married) I don't even know if it's possible to compare being happily married to being happily single...they're two different lifestyles.
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Old 03-07-2017, 12:48 PM
 
6,313 posts, read 5,053,602 times
Reputation: 12820
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sibay View Post
I don't see anything sad or pathetic about being elderly/old and single if the person in that position is happy but some of the reasons listed for not being married are simply one person's skewed negative opinion of what marriage is. It's not bashing but it is a gross generalization. (and I see men taking the hit on this one...really not fair)

Saying one's life can be just as fulfilling without a partner is not the same as using a bad marriage to compare the two. (single vs married) I don't even know if it's possible to compare being happily married to being happily single...they're two different lifestyles.
Exactly! You could have had one bad marriage and then managed to find the right one.

I'm still hoping that I will one day be in a happy loving relationship.!!

Don't stop believing!!
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Old 03-07-2017, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,668 posts, read 3,243,341 times
Reputation: 11946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
Exactly! You could have had one bad marriage and then managed to find the right one.

I'm still hoping that I will one day be in a happy loving relationship.!!

Don't stop believing!!

Thank you! That is just what I am hoping for.

Miracles happen every day.
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Old 03-07-2017, 04:31 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,753 posts, read 7,033,290 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
Thank you! That is just what I am hoping for.

Miracles happen every day.
I hope that for you and Clemencia too!
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Old 03-07-2017, 11:26 PM
 
49 posts, read 29,951 times
Reputation: 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
OP, your story could be mine. I would NEVER get married again. Or live with someone again.

My experience with living with men, is that I always had more work and less sleep.

Even if the rent was split 50/50, you can bet the cooking and household chores would not be.

And he'd more likely than not, want sex more often than you would. And you'd be sleeping in the same bed, I'm assuming, which would mean he'd be disturbing your sleep, and you'd be having conversations about him letting you sleep, and feeling guilty about not wanting to, and then maybe he's pouting...

And then there is the snoring factor.

And, negotiating every single blessed thing from sun up to sun down. What to eat for breakfast, what shows to watch on TV, what to buy at the store, where and when to go out for dinner.

When you're used to having time away from other people, being around someone all day and night, is just exhausting - at least it is for me. Even a girlfriend I enjoy. It just seems like you can't even just chop up vegetables to make a meal without answering questions or explaining what you're doing.

Someone who is always surrounded by people probably won't understand why it's exhausting for someone used to just doing what they want without having to negotiate it or explain it all the time.

And then there are all of those little annoying things like not putting a new toilet paper roll on the holder when they use the last bit, not flushing the toilet or putting down the lid, leaving dirty socks in the middle of the room, tooth paste blobs in the sink - or whatever your pet peeves are.

I also keep a really messy house now that I live alone. And I'd feel resentful if someone gave me a hard time about it, and I also didn't feel that person was doing half of the work around the house.

Plus, there's always the possibility that he moves in and loses his job or - becomes disabled. And now, you not only don't have half the rent coming in, but you're now completely responsible and you're his caregiver, too.

So, is all of my freedom worth $5,000/year? HELL Yes!

And no, I don't hate men. I just hate romantic relationships with men.
Wow, if a man made a post like this talking about why he never wants a woman he'd be getting slammed with "Oh not all women are like that" "you're being selfish" "how greedy you are" etc.
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Old 03-08-2017, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Sylmar, a part of Los Angeles
3,982 posts, read 2,540,487 times
Reputation: 8513
There was a many page thread here awhile ago I forgot the title but it was would you remarry or something and I read it all.
I was greatly disappointed that almost all women retirement age aren't interested in getting married. They have their own money, are comfortable living alone, don't want to cook or cleanup for a man, don't want to take care of a sick old man, I don't blame them for that, don't care about love or romance anymore, like their independence.
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