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As someone here said, marrying for love has been the exception not the rule through most of history. Women needed a husband who would help them provide for their children. The woman's family had to make sure she did not marry a romantic loser.
And even now, even all of you who married for love -- would you have married that wonderful guy if you knew he would always be poor?
True in the past this had been the case and is still done is some societies/cultures. I did marry my 2nd husband for love and although he was doing well professionally at the time we met (he is/was a graphic designer and artist), he proceeded to lose his job due to downsizing just 3 months into our marriage and never fully recovered, taking lesser paying jobs throughout our marriage of almost 20 years. Eventually he was considered to be "too old" to adapt to the new technology in his field, although he had for many years prior won national and international awards.
Finally, his last job involved his working 9 pm to 4 am, provided NO weekends, NO holidays off (all blackout dates) and I was fed up with never seeing him.
As our combined 5 children were grown and on their own, I told him to resign and he did with much hesitancy. It was not worth it to me to never have time together specially for the pittance he was being paid. So yes, he has been poor and I have been the primary breadwinner for many years.
We are very content and I would not trade our married life for the world. He works out of his home studio as an artist and just this year became eligible for SS and a small pension, so "starving artist" would be apt.
Having previously been married to an extremely high earner who was not into marriage at ALL, I can say we have been very lucky and yes, I would marry my wonderful guy, who has almost always been "poor" but makes up for it in so many other ways.
Last edited by tmbf57; 03-09-2017 at 07:49 AM..
Reason: update
^^^^^ I think a lot of the time, the wives aren't so crazy about their husbands. But they don't want a divorcee to "take him away."
My ex cheated often and for a long time. I never once blamed the woman. He was a married man, had made vows to love and honor me, but failed. It was his "doing" that ended our marriage.
^^^^^ I think a lot of the time, the wives aren't so crazy about their husbands. But they don't want a divorcee to "take him away."
My ex cheated often and for a long time. I never once blamed the woman. He was a married man, had made vows to love and honor me, but failed. It was his "doing" that ended our marriage.
Yeah it's not the other woman's fault -- all she knows is what he told her (that his wife cheats on him and they are in the process of divorcing, etc.)
There was a many page thread here awhile ago I forgot the title but it was would you remarry or something and I read it all.
I was greatly disappointed that almost all women retirement age aren't interested in getting married. They have their own money, are comfortable living alone, don't want to cook or cleanup for a man, don't want to take care of a sick old man, I don't blame them for that, don't care about love or romance anymore, like their independence.
Just saw a post in the Psychology forum about MGTOW - Men Going Their Own Way.
Men who have given up on relationships and women. Looks interesting!
Wow, if a man made a post like this talking about why he never wants a woman he'd be getting slammed with "Oh not all women are like that" "you're being selfish" "how greedy you are" etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by V8 Vega
There was a many page thread here awhile ago I forgot the title but it was would you remarry or something and I read it all.
I was greatly disappointed that almost all women retirement age aren't interested in getting married. They have their own money, are comfortable living alone, don't want to cook or cleanup for a man, don't want to take care of a sick old man, I don't blame them for that, don't care about love or romance anymore, like their independence.
I know men think that women who don't want a man must be ....fill in the blank.
But, the truth is, that women are always expected to do more than their fair share. And not only do they do more than their fair share, but it also falls on them to try and even the score. It's the woman who has to bug the man to do his fair share. And then be accused of being unreasonable, etc., etc.
And most often, the man wants to have sex more often than the woman. So, there again, she is expected to do more than she really wants to do.
Now, there is the very rare woman who finds a man who actually is wealthy enough to pay for maids and laundry service and nannies and cooks, etc. But, even then, he will expect her to do more for him, than she expects him to do for her. He'll expect sex more often, for instance.
And, I'll try to put this delicately...older men still want sex, but have difficulty in that department - and expect the woman to make things work. By putting more effort forth, or doing things she'd really rather not do, for sex she's really not into.
This is just pure data. Just facts. It's not a matter of a woman being less romantic or less into love. The bottom line is that a romantic relationship with a man, means more work for the woman than the man.
So once a woman learns this and/or gets over the idea of needing a man to be complete - she's going to be off the market, so to speak.
Is she somehow cold or unfeeling? Nope. Just smart. For once, looking to her own needs instead of someone else's.
Really, how many men out there are doing the laundry, only thinking of their woman's sexual needs, doing the cooking, doing all the cleaning, taking care of her when she's sick, taking care of all of the kids' needs....
Yeah, right.
Even as a kid it drove me nuts how my mother only expected my brother to mow the lawn once a week. Took him maybe an hour.
What this has done to men through the ages, is train them to believe that their one hour of mowing the lawn equals the 100 hours a week a woman puts in from sun-up to way past sun-down doing everything else that needs to be done. And then, she's a cold fish if she doesn't also perform in bed with enthusiasm.
But, this truth will fall on deaf male ears. If they had to face the truth, they'd lose their advantage against all of those women still out there who believe the fairytale.
So, again, I don't hate men. I just hate romantic relationships with men.
I want to live in my own space and do what I want, and be able to say no.
The last man who wanted to be involved with me, even within the last year, and I'm 60 year old, constantly said, "When are you going to cook for me?"
LOL. I said, never. I am looking for a man to take me out to eat three times a day.
Yeah, he stopped coming around LOL. And I found out that he had a girlfriend, too. She probably even does his laundry while he's catting around.
Just ugh.
Women are still fighting the fight for equality. It just saddens me. We didn't even get the vote until 1920, and here we still are, with unequal pay, on and on.
So, nope. There is nothing about any man that makes me hot to do his laundry, cook his dinner, clean his house, perform on demand, while he drinks beer watching TV - or even actually mows the lawn once a week.
I expect all of the posts now about how much men do at home, etc. But, if you're all honest as to hour-per-hour, day after day work done by men vs women, there is no contest.
I think it's hard to have a spouse when one gets older. Because you might wind up having to take care of the spouse as he/she ages, and it could be very difficult, especially if you are getting older yourself. It's even exhausting for a young person to be a full time caretaker. It can also be very expensive if the person needs long term care. So in many ways, I think elderly people who are single have it good.
I know men think that women who don't want a man must be ....fill in the blank.
But, the truth is, that women are always expected to do more than their fair share. And not only do they do more than their fair share, but it also falls on them to try and even the score. It's the woman who has to bug the man to do his fair share. And then be accused of being unreasonable, etc., etc.
And most often, the man wants to have sex more often than the woman. So, there again, she is expected to do more than she really wants to do.
Now, there is the very rare woman who finds a man who actually is wealthy enough to pay for maids and laundry service and nannies and cooks, etc. But, even then, he will expect her to do more for him, than she expects him to do for her. He'll expect sex more often, for instance.
And, I'll try to put this delicately...older men still want sex, but have difficulty in that department - and expect the woman to make things work. By putting more effort forth, or doing things she'd really rather not do, for sex she's really not into.
This is just pure data. Just facts. It's not a matter of a woman being less romantic or less into love. The bottom line is that a romantic relationship with a man, means more work for the woman than the man.
So once a woman learns this and/or gets over the idea of needing a man to be complete - she's going to be off the market, so to speak.
Is she somehow cold or unfeeling? Nope. Just smart. For once, looking to her own needs instead of someone else's.
Really, how many men out there are doing the laundry, only thinking of their woman's sexual needs, doing the cooking, doing all the cleaning, taking care of her when she's sick, taking care of all of the kids' needs....
Yeah, right.
Even as a kid it drove me nuts how my mother only expected my brother to mow the lawn once a week. Took him maybe an hour.
What this has done to men through the ages, is train them to believe that their one hour of mowing the lawn equals the 100 hours a week a woman puts in from sun-up to way past sun-down doing everything else that needs to be done. And then, she's a cold fish if she doesn't also perform in bed with enthusiasm.
But, this truth will fall on deaf male ears. If they had to face the truth, they'd lose their advantage against all of those women still out there who believe the fairytale.
So, again, I don't hate men. I just hate romantic relationships with men.
I want to live in my own space and do what I want, and be able to say no.
The last man who wanted to be involved with me, even within the last year, and I'm 60 year old, constantly said, "When are you going to cook for me?"
LOL. I said, never. I am looking for a man to take me out to eat three times a day.
Yeah, he stopped coming around LOL. And I found out that he had a girlfriend, too. She probably even does his laundry while he's catting around.
Just ugh.
Women are still fighting the fight for equality. It just saddens me. We didn't even get the vote until 1920, and here we still are, with unequal pay, on and on.
So, nope. There is nothing about any man that makes me hot to do his laundry, cook his dinner, clean his house, perform on demand, while he drinks beer watching TV - or even actually mows the lawn once a week.
I expect all of the posts now about how much men do at home, etc. But, if you're all honest as to hour-per-hour, day after day work done by men vs women, there is no contest.
Whew. And for these kinds of reasons, I'm outta there! Thanks for reminding me. I realize some are lucky and may have a "balanced, mutual and caring relationship", but I think that is rare. And it saddens me too, to see that women are still having to experience the discovery of it all.
I know men think that women who don't want a man must be ....fill in the blank.
But, the truth is, that women are always expected to do more than their fair share. And not only do they do more than their fair share, but it also falls on them to try and even the score. It's the woman who has to bug the man to do his fair share. And then be accused of being unreasonable, etc., etc.
And most often, the man wants to have sex more often than the woman. So, there again, she is expected to do more than she really wants to do.
Now, there is the very rare woman who finds a man who actually is wealthy enough to pay for maids and laundry service and nannies and cooks, etc. But, even then, he will expect her to do more for him, than she expects him to do for her. He'll expect sex more often, for instance.
And, I'll try to put this delicately...older men still want sex, but have difficulty in that department - and expect the woman to make things work. By putting more effort forth, or doing things she'd really rather not do, for sex she's really not into.
This is just pure data. Just facts. It's not a matter of a woman being less romantic or less into love. The bottom line is that a romantic relationship with a man, means more work for the woman than the man.
So once a woman learns this and/or gets over the idea of needing a man to be complete - she's going to be off the market, so to speak.
Is she somehow cold or unfeeling? Nope. Just smart. For once, looking to her own needs instead of someone else's.
Really, how many men out there are doing the laundry, only thinking of their woman's sexual needs, doing the cooking, doing all the cleaning, taking care of her when she's sick, taking care of all of the kids' needs....
Yeah, right.
Even as a kid it drove me nuts how my mother only expected my brother to mow the lawn once a week. Took him maybe an hour.
What this has done to men through the ages, is train them to believe that their one hour of mowing the lawn equals the 100 hours a week a woman puts in from sun-up to way past sun-down doing everything else that needs to be done. And then, she's a cold fish if she doesn't also perform in bed with enthusiasm.
But, this truth will fall on deaf male ears. If they had to face the truth, they'd lose their advantage against all of those women still out there who believe the fairytale.
So, again, I don't hate men. I just hate romantic relationships with men.
I want to live in my own space and do what I want, and be able to say no.
The last man who wanted to be involved with me, even within the last year, and I'm 60 year old, constantly said, "When are you going to cook for me?"
LOL. I said, never. I am looking for a man to take me out to eat three times a day.
Yeah, he stopped coming around LOL. And I found out that he had a girlfriend, too. She probably even does his laundry while he's catting around.
Just ugh.
Women are still fighting the fight for equality. It just saddens me. We didn't even get the vote until 1920, and here we still are, with unequal pay, on and on.
So, nope. There is nothing about any man that makes me hot to do his laundry, cook his dinner, clean his house, perform on demand, while he drinks beer watching TV - or even actually mows the lawn once a week.
I expect all of the posts now about how much men do at home, etc. But, if you're all honest as to hour-per-hour, day after day work done by men vs women, there is no contest.
It wouldn't let me rep you again, but right on. I was married for 20 years and I was just a servant at best. I've been single for the same amount of time and am not looking.
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