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But, the truth is, that women are always expected to do more than their fair share. And not only do they do more than their fair share, but it also falls on them to try and even the score. It's the woman who has to bug the man to do his fair share. And then be accused of being unreasonable, etc., etc.
So, nope. There is nothing about any man that makes me hot to do his laundry, cook his dinner, clean his house, perform on demand, while he drinks beer watching TV - or even actually mows the lawn once a week.
I've always said in my next life I'm coming back as a married man so that all I have to do is sit on the couch, drink beer and watch sports.
Of course, that sounds like a very boring life to me, but it certainly sounds much easier
"Now, there is the very rare woman who finds a man who actually is wealthy enough to pay for maids and laundry service and nannies and cooks, etc."
Yeah but ... if you are "lucky" enough to snag a wealthy man he might use that to control you. Any woman who depends on a husband for her survival has less power in the relationship.
"Now, there is the very rare woman who finds a man who actually is wealthy enough to pay for maids and laundry service and nannies and cooks, etc."
Yeah but ... if you are "lucky" enough to snag a wealthy man he might use that to control you. Any woman who depends on a husband for her survival has less power in the relationship.
More than likely a wealthy man that can afford all that will usually have mistresses on the side.
"Now, there is the very rare woman who finds a man who actually is wealthy enough to pay for maids and laundry service and nannies and cooks, etc."
Yeah but ... if you are "lucky" enough to snag a wealthy man he might use that to control you. Any woman who depends on a husband for her survival has less power in the relationship.
Ick.. reminds me of what is going on now with those in the W H.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman
More than likely a wealthy man that can afford all that will usually have mistresses on the side.
That, too.
No amount of money would be worth that sort of emptiness.
I might get blasted for what I am about to write, but I think a lot of it is true and we women just don't want to admit it.
First, when a boy is born, for some reason we mothers seem to expect less from him than our daughter. I remember seeing or reading something about this a very long time ago and don't remember the exact details. But think about it. Do we ask boys to do chores around the house or are they encouraged to go out and play with their friends, etc.
Then when the boy grows up to be a man and has been brought up that way, he doesn't understand that he should be helping out. It's "women's work". Mom always did those things.
I think it is getting better but lots of room for improvement. We women have to start "expecting" men to do what they need to do. We can't just say "he won't do it" and then do it for him.
I know this isn't being written very well. I know what I mean in my head, but putting into words not coming easily. I hope at least some of us women will understand what I'm saying here. Quit giving them a free ride. It might mean you have to put up with things not getting done until he figures out you mean business. Like a sink full of dishes he was going to do but never got around to it so we did it. Too impatient. Or his dirty underwear on the floor. Let it pile up till he gets the drift. I knew a woman whose adult children would come to her home, take a shower, throw the towels on the floor, Mom will do it. Or get something out of the refrigerator but never put it back. Leave a mess on the counter or table.
Boys and men need to find out that we are not the maid.
I might get blasted for what I am about to write, but I think a lot of it is true and we women just don't want to admit it.
First, when a boy is born, for some reason we mothers seem to expect less from him than our daughter. I remember seeing or reading something about this a very long time ago and don't remember the exact details. But think about it. Do we ask boys to do chores around the house or are they encouraged to go out and play with their friends, etc.
Then when the boy grows up to be a man and has been brought up that way, he doesn't understand that he should be helping out. It's "women's work". Mom always did those things.
I think it is getting better but lots of room for improvement. We women have to start "expecting" men to do what they need to do. We can't just say "he won't do it" and then do it for him.
I know this isn't being written very well. I know what I mean in my head, but putting into words not coming easily. I hope at least some of us women will understand what I'm saying here. Quit giving them a free ride. It might mean you have to put up with things not getting done until he figures out you mean business. Like a sink full of dishes he was going to do but never got around to it so we did it. Too impatient. Or his dirty underwear on the floor. Let it pile up till he gets the drift. I knew a woman whose adult children would come to her home, take a shower, throw the towels on the floor, Mom will do it. Or get something out of the refrigerator but never put it back. Leave a mess on the counter or table.
Boys and men need to find out that we are not the maid.
Thank goodness it wasn't that way at our house. I had five brothers. They all know how to cook, clean and iron! My mom made sure of it. As adults they do a lot of the cooking at their homes. Same here with my roommate. He even irons my clothes if needed. He is still a pain though. Lol.
And we are Hispanic, so you would think the boys would be raised like little kings. But no.
I might get blasted for what I am about to write, but I think a lot of it is true and we women just don't want to admit it.
First, when a boy is born, for some reason we mothers seem to expect less from him than our daughter. I remember seeing or reading something about this a very long time ago and don't remember the exact details. But think about it. Do we ask boys to do chores around the house or are they encouraged to go out and play with their friends, etc.
Then when the boy grows up to be a man and has been brought up that way, he doesn't understand that he should be helping out. It's "women's work". Mom always did those things.
I think it is getting better but lots of room for improvement. We women have to start "expecting" men to do what they need to do. We can't just say "he won't do it" and then do it for him.
I know this isn't being written very well. I know what I mean in my head, but putting into words not coming easily. I hope at least some of us women will understand what I'm saying here. Quit giving them a free ride. It might mean you have to put up with things not getting done until he figures out you mean business. Like a sink full of dishes he was going to do but never got around to it so we did it. Too impatient. Or his dirty underwear on the floor. Let it pile up till he gets the drift. I knew a woman whose adult children would come to her home, take a shower, throw the towels on the floor, Mom will do it. Or get something out of the refrigerator but never put it back. Leave a mess on the counter or table.
Boys and men need to find out that we are not the maid.
I don't have boys so I don't know. But my brother and my husband do household chores since day one. But both wives have jobs. I think it depends on the wife to set expectations.
I might get blasted for what I am about to write, but I think a lot of it is true and we women just don't want to admit it.
First, when a boy is born, for some reason we mothers seem to expect less from him than our daughter. I remember seeing or reading something about this a very long time ago and don't remember the exact details. But think about it. Do we ask boys to do chores around the house or are they encouraged to go out and play with their friends, etc.
Then when the boy grows up to be a man and has been brought up that way, he doesn't understand that he should be helping out. It's "women's work". Mom always did those things.
I think it is getting better but lots of room for improvement. We women have to start "expecting" men to do what they need to do. We can't just say "he won't do it" and then do it for him.
I know this isn't being written very well. I know what I mean in my head, but putting into words not coming easily. I hope at least some of us women will understand what I'm saying here. Quit giving them a free ride. It might mean you have to put up with things not getting done until he figures out you mean business. Like a sink full of dishes he was going to do but never got around to it so we did it. Too impatient. Or his dirty underwear on the floor. Let it pile up till he gets the drift. I knew a woman whose adult children would come to her home, take a shower, throw the towels on the floor, Mom will do it. Or get something out of the refrigerator but never put it back. Leave a mess on the counter or table.
Boys and men need to find out that we are not the maid.
I did not have brothers or sons, but feel they would have been taught to chip in. A close male friend, once a boyfriend, who grew up in a household of five kids, all did tasks early on. (Another boyfriend I was with for too long was not into it at all and admitted they "had help at home" when young). It really comes down to parenting and I have hoped that both men and women have been more inclined to introduce kids to chores from a young age, being beneficial. It is within a certain type of home where, if the husband / father believes in anything being "woman's work", this outdated notion will still be passed down to kids, being detrimental to all. It is not a gender thing, but just learning basic life skills. (It doesn't hurt for daughters to learn to make some repairs, check their car fluids, etc., either).
I have a cousin whose husband cooks more than she, but get the impression that she may take over if the kids do not keep up their end, so they just get used to mom doing so. This doesn't help down the road (and I think everyone should have to live independently before a "together phase", but is not something affordable for young people. It seems it would be good to have smaller units designed purposely for this in-between stage, just to get feet wet).
I will observe some younger males wandering around a market carrying an empty basket, looking lost who may not know how to shop, probably relying upon eating out. (I almost want to make suggestions, IF there ever appears to be an actual opportunity). Older men may have have picked up some tricks if they are now alone or have been used to living independently. Then I will notice a young father with a child or two, efficiently running through a store with a full cart, involving kids in the process and think "that guy knows what to do".
What about groceries?? Alcohol? Cigarettes? Men can eat through hundreds of dollars a month.
That's true. 2/3 of my monthly expenses are in those categories.
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