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Old 03-13-2017, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
244 posts, read 235,501 times
Reputation: 421

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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
I embrace the solitude. My spouse of 35 years used to get home after 7pm from work. Last year he started working from home two days a week. When I come home at 2pm and it is the days he is working for home, I am not as relaxed. I just have a need for alone time everyday. I have an overwhelming job in Customer Service, I spend eight hours helping people, I crave alone time. I crave complete silence.

We have dinner every night together--we are all good.
This sounds like my wife. She never want's to develop couple friends because she is always "decompressing" from her job. I guess I am lucky she can stand to be around me! LOL
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Old 03-13-2017, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Central Ohio
10,832 posts, read 14,927,894 times
Reputation: 16582
While I am of retirement age I am not retired yet but maybe in a year or two.

My wife and I are always together and if I have a business trip she goes along for the ride or I don't go. I enjoy the company and she watches out for me as I watch out for her. Even on a day trip if it's going to be a long day and I am going alone she is along for the ride but I do make sure is is comfortable.

In the next couple months we will be moving to a condo where we will share the loft. 80% of the loft will be her hobby lobby room while 20% will be my home office.

We like being together even if we're in separate places in the house.

Men are not meant to be alone and if something happened to my wife I would probably be making a mistake but I'd be looking for a replacement if I could find one that would put up with me.

I love married life and I can not imagine any other way to be.
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Old 03-13-2017, 10:12 AM
 
Location: The High Desert
16,069 posts, read 10,726,642 times
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I lived alone before I was married but had a tremendous social network through my job. I knew how to live alone and enjoyed it much more than when having a roommate. Some people never learn how to live alone or never have the opportunity to do so and go from one family parental group setting into another spousal setting. After 33 years of marriage and parenting I was alone again in retirement when my wife passed. I went to a grief support group for a few weeks but what I most remember was that people were very frightened about the idea of being alone - the looming future without companionship. In marriage, people grow together and focus internally and separate that from an external work or social life. In my case, I depended on my wife to handle social connections and most of our friendships were through her. I had to relearn how to make friends on my own after she died -- being retired, I didn't have a work related social group. Because I lived alone as a younger person I knew I could do that again but the social connections were (and still are) more difficult.


I do go out to eat in restaurants but will often sit at the bar if there is one or get a booth. Bar seating is a little more social for men but I almost never see a woman choose to sit at a bar. It's fairly common to have a conversation with other people at a bar setting. The film industry is active where I live and people tell me I look like a certain (aging) movie actor. When I'm sitting alone in a booth I get stares or people will stop at my table to ask if I'm this actor or if they know me from some place. I've had people argue that I was this actor. I found that to be funny at first but now a little uncomfortable.

Last edited by SunGrins; 03-13-2017 at 10:34 AM..
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Old 03-13-2017, 10:18 AM
 
Location: East TN
11,103 posts, read 9,744,154 times
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I eat out alone whenever I'm hungry and out by myself. It doesn't phase me one bit. The idea that a person alone at a restaurant table is somehow sad or awkward doesn't go with my mindset at all. Maybe it's because I worked in a field where I was frequently out in public alone during the day and, if I wanted to eat, I ate alone. I was not about to sit in my car and eat Taco Bell out of my lap. I've gone to clubs alone, I've vacationed alone, I go to casinos alone. Just no big deal. Sometimes I'll sit at the bar to eat, or just have a drink, and I'll talk to the bartender if they're not busy, or sometimes to another patron who's also alone. I feel safe and I meet the most interesting people.
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Old 03-13-2017, 04:42 PM
 
5,151 posts, read 4,524,286 times
Reputation: 8347
No, I absolutely hate being alone. Maybe it's because solitude was forced on me all through my childhood.

My husband just returned to work today after almost 4 months of recuperation from surgery. He didn't want to go back & I didn't want him to but for now it's necessary. I lost my job 4 years ago, and also lost a lot of my mobility due to a work-related injury, and I have never spent so much time alone inside 4 walls in my life. Also, I recently learned that more people from my past died over the winter. I am not "that" old, so that was very unnerving.

I'm glad to have our dogs, but they haven't mastered the art of conversation just yet.
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Old 03-16-2017, 04:12 PM
 
7 posts, read 4,298 times
Reputation: 56
I've been widowed for 13 years now and live alone except for my doxie. For the most part I don't mind it and actually prefer it but sometimes when I see older couples out doing things it depresses me slightly but then I get over it.

I do what I want...when I want. I always have family that loves having me visit....and watch the grands.

After that, I'm really happy to get back to my quiet peaceful life.
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Old 03-16-2017, 08:45 PM
 
1,204 posts, read 933,989 times
Reputation: 8258
Selena, I'm sure it was a typo, probably for " doggie," but you made me snort out loud with your, " I live alone, except for my doxie." I love it!
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Old 03-16-2017, 09:13 PM
 
1,180 posts, read 2,921,401 times
Reputation: 3558
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeaverIslandRetired View Post
Selena, I'm sure it was a typo, probably for " doggie," but you made me snort out loud with your, " I live alone, except for my doxie." I love it!
not a typo at all- doxie is a very common term for dachshund.
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Old 03-16-2017, 09:19 PM
 
711 posts, read 932,759 times
Reputation: 364
Yes, being alone bothers me. I had a marriage that lasted over 50 yrs. I have been a widower for 4+ yrs.

While I have made some adjustments to a different living style it still leaves much to be desired. True--life is simpler and in some ways easier going--but it is also strange and uncomfortable. As a senior I also think it is rather dangerous--even though I am fairly healthy.

I have found dating to be a different commodity than it once was. Ideally a significant other would be the best relationship for me. I can't seem to zero in on that either! Time will tell.
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Old 03-16-2017, 09:25 PM
 
9,868 posts, read 7,691,273 times
Reputation: 22124
Ha, I usually enjoy the solitude when DH goes off for a little while, and I bet he feels the same when I go.

Adjusting to both of us being together so much was not easy, and sometimes it still grates on my nerves. But we still enjoy lots of things we do together, too. It's a mix, just like the rest of life!
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