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Old 03-13-2017, 07:42 PM
 
731 posts, read 487,367 times
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Nope we plan to spend every dime while we are alive. We also encourage our parents to do the same. They earned it, they should spend it. Do the things they never got to do now that they have the free time. I am not entitled to their money any more then my kids are entitled to mine. That does not mean I wont help my kids if they are in trouble or to get a leg up while I am alive, but I do plan on my wife and I enjoying our golden years.
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Old 03-13-2017, 10:15 PM
 
6,547 posts, read 3,107,016 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shamrock4 View Post
I like the idea of gifting each year for a Roth IRA or perhaps a house down payment but be aware of issues.

Keep in mind if your heirs are married, the spouse can walk off with half of the money you have gifted depending on state divorce laws. For example, if you gift for a house down payment and a divorce occurs, the heir's spouse will get half the proceeds if the house is in both names. If gifted money has been commingled, it will not necessarily be solely your heir's money.

Same for retirement funds. With a divorce, sometimes funds must be split and shared even though they may be totally in your child's name with money you have gifted.

I have had friends and family members really burned with their child's ex-spouse walking off with half their gifted funds, particularly with house down payments (one within 4 months - spouse alone knew she was leaving and got quite a bonus payout).

I know we can't control everything, but be aware and talk with a lawyer in your state.
Sure this can happen.

The largest sum we gave for a home downpayment was to a child who is now in the middle of a divorce at his request.

I don't know what their final financial settlement will be. But, what I do know is that our DIL will have primary custody of our grandkids in the house our son is giving up. So, we are OK with that.

The main reason we gave them the original downpayment two houses ago was so our grandkids could live a lifestyle that they(our son and DIL) could afford to support, but couldn't afford to buy into.
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Old 03-13-2017, 10:31 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,685 posts, read 40,050,764 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondy View Post
Sure this can happen.
...
The main reason we gave them the original downpayment two houses ago was so our grandkids could live a lifestyle that they(our son and DIL) could afford to support, but couldn't afford to buy into.

Yes... this can lead to a lot of marital stress,

Hope it works out for the grandkids,
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Old 03-13-2017, 10:57 PM
 
6,547 posts, read 3,107,016 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
Yes... this can lead to a lot of marital stress,

Hope it works out for the grandkids,
So do I, but whatever the differences between our son and DIL, I trust both of them to be responsible and have the best interest of the kids at heart so I am not too worried on that front.
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Old 03-13-2017, 11:32 PM
 
6,353 posts, read 5,172,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
...and some of us inherited a lot of DEBT, as well as our wayward parents!

I told my kids... "Some people have wayward kids, some have wayward PARENTS!, and I don't want BOTH!"

so far, so good (Kids are good, parents... not so good) Often parents can be a real handful to control!
You're not responsible for your parents' debts, although you may have to take care of them if they're indigent (which is different).
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Old 03-14-2017, 12:19 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,685 posts, read 40,050,764 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Siegel View Post
You're not responsible for your parents' debts, although you may have to take care of them if they're indigent (which is different).
Oh yes, very indigent after health crisis, hospitalized, ruled incompetent, having previous 2 yrs run up such debt $100k+ among family and friends. (I was granted / assigned full responsibility / guardianship the day I turned 18 (fiduciary and medical)) Party over.

Thus... I felt obligated (not legally required) to bail out my parent and the debt they had accrued (much was from 'trusting' relatives who had sacrificed their retirement savings to bail out parent, who subsequently hit the skids after a massive stroke and lost everything (Ranch, home, and 6 businesses). Parent never lifted a hand after the stroke (for 33 yrs). Didn't speak for 10 yrs. Hated every second of my care, and made sure I knew it.!

Age 18 was a good time to grow up and face the reality of caring for a disabled parent. I had been pretty well prepared (Very abusive and absentee parents while I solely "managed the ranch" as a kid). Father came home at 10PM on Friday night and left again at 6pm on Sunday night to manage interstate businesses during the week. Mom was GONE most of the time, and didn't much care for us kids hanging around (I had left home at 16, but still cared for ranch). Plenty of stuff to do, hard lessons to learn. Death (farm friends in very traumatic accidents, livestock and working pets, grandparents who raised us, many friends and neighbors in 500 yr flood in our Canyon home... and the simple stuff...finances, IRS, and stuff...)

Sold my cars, and bought my first home ($16k) at age 19 to house my parents. I have longed for that simple $128.84 House Payment every since I sold that joint! (but not the $2.15/ hr wage). Been driving "Beater's" ever since (50 mpg since 1976! no dinosaurs / fuel required! cooking oil is free and burns clean!)

lessons learned on the way to 'retirement'...

Last edited by StealthRabbit; 03-14-2017 at 12:29 AM..
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Old 03-14-2017, 02:10 AM
 
6,353 posts, read 5,172,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
Parent never lifted a hand after the stroke (for 33 yrs).

...Father came home at 10PM on Friday night and left again at 6pm on Sunday night to manage interstate businesses during the week. Mom was GONE most of the time
That's quite a hard luck story. Was the father gone on weekdays managing interstate businesses and the mother gone most of the time for some other reason before or after one of them had a massive stroke? It is a little hard to follow all these details.
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Old 03-14-2017, 02:19 AM
 
Location: Alaska
5,356 posts, read 16,363,470 times
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Both DW and I received an inheritance from our parents. DW's was in the low 6 figures and mine in the low 5 figures. We used mine to pay off some debt and DW's to pay off student loans for our kids and as an extra source of funds for retirement (beneficiary IRA). While our kids have told us to spend all our retirement funds, we plan on leaving an inheritance. The size of the inheritance will depend on how well our investments do over our remaining life. My retirement projections show the our income from pensions and SS will exceed our expenses for a about a 10 year period, which should ensure a larger inheritance. The only unknown is LTC, which we have insurance to keep the spouse not in LTC from becoming destitute. I figure it will shield the inheritance too.
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Old 03-14-2017, 06:38 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,531 posts, read 8,786,811 times
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You can't borrow from future generations.
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Old 03-14-2017, 07:09 AM
 
13,993 posts, read 7,458,129 times
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My father made it clear when I was growing up that he was going to spend it all and I wouldn't get a dime. If I liked my lifestyle, I had to study hard, get a college degree in something useful, and get a good job to pay for it. It was a valuable life lesson. He died 6 years ago and left his estate to my stepmother. My sister and I encourage her to spend it to zero.

I manage my mother's financial affairs. She is in assisted living with severe short term memory problems. She'll be out of money in four years. My sister and I will have to step in and pay the bills.

I didn't reproduce. I intend to spend it all.
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