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Old 03-10-2017, 12:31 PM
 
13,320 posts, read 25,565,364 times
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I never even heard of inheritance until I was an adult.

My parents died broke and the little trailer they lived in was a liability until the park owner very kindly offered to have it removed for no fee.

I have no children and being poor as a parent was the first reason I knew I didn't want them.

I am arranging to have whatever dogs I have to go to a sanctuary and my assets to be going with them for life care. I also will give some money to a few other causes if I have it.

It's one issue I have with the continuing-care retirement community financial structure. Decent monthly fees, but a hefty buy-in up front that is refundable to your estate.
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Old 03-10-2017, 12:32 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,435 posts, read 1,669,408 times
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We haven't inherited anything and never expected to. My Mom is in a CCCR and at $7k a month in a nursing care wing, we are lucky to have the money she and Dad saved to pay for it.

My MIL is alive and well, but I expect her eventual care will use any money she has saved too.

We have one son and anything left will go to him and his family. We don't plan on spending it all, but we don't know what the future holds for us either. If we died soon he would have a substantial inheritance, if we linger on with extended health care, there may be nothing. I hope it's somewhere in between, for him and us.

Last edited by jean_ji; 03-10-2017 at 12:41 PM..
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Old 03-10-2017, 12:51 PM
 
12,825 posts, read 20,144,092 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Submariner View Post
Spending it all now? Or maintain an estate to go to your heirs?

I see that many people focus on the idea of spending all their portfolio while they are living. The idea of drawing 2%/year or 4%/year, timed to reach zero when you die.

I remember reading in The Millionaire Nextdoor that it is common among wealthy families that they provide inheritances to their daughters, but not to their sons.

In my experience, my wife was orphaned at 12, and spent the remainder of her childhood 'couch-surfing' with cousins. He uncles took up a collection for her and one of them put it in a safe deposit box, for later when she got married. They often used that 'hope chest' fund as a carrot over her head. After we got married, she confronted the uncle for her 'hope chest' money, after 6 months of delay, he gave it to her, $150.

Both sets of my grandparents passed away when I was in my thirties. There was a lot of talk about their estates, etc. For three of them there was none. One of them had an estate left over after all medical costs, each grandchild received about $5,000. At the time, that was about one and a half of my regular paychecks. It was nice to get, but yet, it was a disappointment after all the talk about inheritances.

My parents passed away when I was in my early 50s. It seemed like a big estate, but after all expenses and dividing it out among five siblings, it worked out to $16,000 a piece.

I am not saying that I am not grateful for these inheritances. But $150 at 21, $5,000 at 35, $16,000 at 52. None of these 'set us up'. Basically all that any of these did was to provide an extra principal payment on our mortgages.

Outside of mortgages we have never carried debts, so they were never the sudden ability to get out of debt. In a way the whole inheriting thing has been a bit of a disappointment. [Sounds like I am really spoiled]

I have read many times stories about trust fund children and how it ruins someone to receive a large inheritance at an early age.

I can also see where receiving a big portfolio at 60 or 70 s a bit too late in life to really make much difference in your life.

I have been on pension for 15 years, we own our home, we have no debt. My career included a lot of travel, we have no desire to return to any of the famous tourist locations. We have became settled in our lifestyle.

We just got a fresh inheritance from an in-law. We got a couple toys, but really our discussion has been about investing it and trying to shift it to our sons [before they reach their 60s].

It seems like the focus of so many threads here, is all about spending every penny to reach the grave dead broke, with no inheritance for the next generation. Is that really where our society has gone?

Is it true that nobody is trying to help the next generation?
Well, if one wants to be sure to never run out of money, one should spend as little as possible without incurring hardship. That flies in the face of the "logic" of the retire-in-style crowd. My own logic seems to echo that of Depression survivors. Maybe it's a generational difference since I am a bit younger than some here. I never got into the Yuppie thing or even wanted it ... that was something for people 10 years older than me. I've always had the mentality of an endless struggle, and, a healthy fear of future poverty.
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Old 03-10-2017, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Eastern Washington
14,242 posts, read 44,919,845 times
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No bio kids of my own, by choice. DW has 3 kids, 2 sons who live in Europe, and a daughter who lives in Seattle. Daughter married well - guy worked for Microsoft, but now works at a a startup. Long story short he will never go long without a job, and if he does not become wealthy outright, he will certainly not be poor. She has degrees in accounting and finance, is in Luxembourg this week for work. So not doing badly on her own.

House is paid for, although I am not sure what these two dedicated yuppies would do with a rural house. Should start retirement with roughly a mil in the 401K, will have a decent pension. Next year DW can draw SS to the tune of about $2K per month.

So, while I don't know what fate will bring in the next 20 or so years, it seems to me that there should be some wealth left over when the last of us passes on.

But, regarding the step daughter, it seems to me she won't particularly need it.

My parents left a paid for house near Atlanta to my sister and I, my Mom left us IRAs worth roughly $75K each. Before she passed, my Mom gave me something like $30K that I used to finish paying off our house. I quit-claimed the Georgia house to my sister, she needed a house, I already have one, and I don't want to live back in the east anyway. Sister has no heirs at all, unless you count me.

So while I don't feel any obligation to pass a specific inheritance on to the step daughter, and don't particularly think she will need it, I don't have any specific plan to spend the last dime before I drop either.
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Old 03-10-2017, 01:39 PM
 
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DH and I hope our children will receive a substantial inheritance when we pass, as I did, but my parents both lived to 95 in quite a healthy condition so they are not holding their breaths if I have the same genes! We both have LTC care insurance that we hope will help with ever-rising costs. We would never purposely spend down as I am not too trusting of the economy in years to come and safety nets are being diminished.

We paid fully for college for the kids as my parents did for me (DH paid his own way) and our children are grateful when they see the loans their friends carry. My parents did gift me for the last 10 years of their lives, as they had solid pensions, most health costs paid by employer in retirement and Social Security. My dad spent over 30 years in retirement and was very astute in the stock market. These gifts were great as it gave us extra money to invest, pay off debt and give us a layer of security.

I am not the type to just blow money and my parents knew it, although we do enjoy traveling but "toys" mean little to us. The money I inherited will go mostly to my children if I die first as my husband has his own retirement funds. Quite frankly, much as I love DH, I have no intention of a second wife enjoying my inheritance from my parents - have seen this happen too often.

We do not plan on leaving money to grandchildren (none yet anyway). They would only receive if one of our children, their parent, died. If one of our kids dies without children, that money reverts back to our other children. I don't know why a spouse would expect to get that money but a friend of mine had that happen - the DIL expected her husband's share of the inheritance from his parents. Never heard of that before.
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Old 03-10-2017, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Central Mexico and Central Florida
7,108 posts, read 3,463,006 times
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No kids. Lots of nieces and nephews. All our siblings are equally if not wealthier than us.

We expect to finish out our days in Mexico. Will set up a scholarship found for locals with our cash reserves.

Will leave our home to the local Women's Clinic to expand their facilities (main clinic is only 2 blocks from us). Or for their use as a Women's Shelter.
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Old 03-10-2017, 02:01 PM
 
3,460 posts, read 2,200,471 times
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Considering the number of times I've seen people take a well intended inheritance and waste the whole thing, I prefer to see people practice that charity begins in the home. Spend it now. If your heirs are really worthy of the money, for most circumstances they wouldn't need the money and would have conducted their lives in an intelligent fashion.

A friend of mine is a stock broker and he has told me stories of clients who were almost set for life by their inheritance and they blew it all on gambling, drugs, expensive vacations and giving the money away to people who didn't deserve it, spending every last cent of it within 1 to 2 years. So at the end of it, they weren't any better off and contributed nothing towards their own retirement, because they claimed this was "found money".

Spend it now and spend it on yourself. If the people you intend to leave it to really love you, this is what they would want you to do.
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Old 03-10-2017, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
4,845 posts, read 4,956,944 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eastcoastguyz View Post
Considering the number of times I've seen people take a well intended inheritance and waste the whole thing, I prefer to see people practice that charity begins in the home. Spend it now. If your heirs are really worthy of the money, for most circumstances they wouldn't need the money and would have conducted their lives in an intelligent fashion.

A friend of mine is a stock broker and he has told me stories of clients who were almost set for life by their inheritance and they blew it all on gambling, drugs, expensive vacations and giving the money away to people who didn't deserve it, spending every last cent of it within 1 to 2 years. So at the end of it, they weren't any better off and contributed nothing towards their own retirement, because they claimed this was "found money".

Spend it now and spend it on yourself. If the people you intend to leave it to really love you, this is what they would want you to do.
Spending somebody else's money that was just given to you is a lot different than spending your own money that you saved yourself.

Just look at what happens to most lotto winners. Their new found wealth usually destroys their lives.
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Old 03-10-2017, 02:07 PM
 
Location: SoCal
13,235 posts, read 6,335,450 times
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I think a balanced approach is best in this case. Told kids not to expect anything, but baring something really gone haywire, there should be a smalll amount left. I don't plan ahead how much I should leave them because I don't know. But I want them to be successful on their own. Had Bill Gayes relying on his $5 millioninheritance, he might not become a billionaire today.
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Old 03-10-2017, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,517 posts, read 26,381,924 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Submariner View Post
Spending it all now? Or maintain an estate to go to your heirs?
Neither.

My Dh and I have wills but everything in it is in percentages. There is no way we can know how long we will live or how much will be left. We certainly don't plan on blowing money but we may have a lot more years left.

I would also rather help out someone I care for when they need it(but not huge amounts)as opposed to making them wait.
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