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Old 03-11-2017, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
30,692 posts, read 49,482,998 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robino1 View Post
In Texas this is not the case. I don't know if it is different in other states. The lawyer for my stepmom said to not do this. I thought the same as you and was told that was not so. Again, this was Texas.

Now I want to google this.. LOL.

Editing to add what I've read just glancing through some links.

You can disinherit someone just by not mentioning them. This does not include spouses and children. You CAN disinherit a child by stating that they receive nothing. Example: To my daughter Kim, I leave nothing.

She can try to contest but she will not win. Anyone can try to contest a will but the wishes of the deceased will be honored.

I'm still reading and haven't come across anything that references the spouse yet
Each state is different.

In 2016 we went through probate with my SIL' estate. Her will was written in Ct, but she died in Md. The Md probate court contested the will because it had not been written in Md. My Dw is the executor and the only sole benefactor of the estate. Yet the court took it on themselves to contest the will.

What one state wants to see in a will is different from what is even allowed in some other state.
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Old 03-11-2017, 08:41 AM
 
71,735 posts, read 71,853,273 times
Reputation: 49289
this is why we use only the most experienced estate attorney's in our state for our wills and paper work . we already ran in to 2 defective documents in our lives .

Last edited by mathjak107; 03-11-2017 at 08:55 AM..
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Old 03-11-2017, 08:48 AM
 
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,488 posts, read 2,079,004 times
Reputation: 9735
Quote:
Originally Posted by Submariner View Post
Each state is different.

In 2016 we went through probate with my SIL' estate. Her will was written in Ct, but she died in Md. The Md probate court contested the will because it had not been written in Md. My Dw is the executor and the only sole benefactor of the estate. Yet the court took it on themselves to contest the will.

What one state wants to see in a will is different from what is even allowed in some other state.
I agree. That is why I stipulated that what I found was in Texas. Mom had her will drawn up in Texas and she passed away in Texas. I was executrix and was there while she was going over everything with her lawyer.


Note to self: have new will drawn up now that we've settled in Florida.
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Old 03-11-2017, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,792 posts, read 4,848,703 times
Reputation: 19498
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastcoastguyz View Post
Considering the number of times I've seen people take a well intended inheritance and waste the whole thing, I prefer to see people practice that charity begins in the home. Spend it now. If your heirs are really worthy of the money, for most circumstances they wouldn't need the money and would have conducted their lives in an intelligent fashion.

A friend of mine is a stock broker and he has told me stories of clients who were almost set for life by their inheritance and they blew it all on gambling, drugs, expensive vacations and giving the money away to people who didn't deserve it, spending every last cent of it within 1 to 2 years. So at the end of it, they weren't any better off and contributed nothing towards their own retirement, because they claimed this was "found money".

Spend it now and spend it on yourself. If the people you intend to leave it to really love you, this is what they would want you to do.

This is almost the exact story of my hubby's childhood friend who inherited young and pretty much has destroyed his own life because it made him a lazy loser. I don't know, maybe he was a lazy loser to start! His story follows...as a cautionary tale, for what it's worth.

We'll call him JP. JP's wealthy, successful dad died in his late forties leaving substantial money, life insurance, and commercial properties to his wife, so she never had to work or worry. To his developmentally delayed son he left a trust fund that would support him for life, to his other 3 adult children he left them funds to each purchase a home outright. The funds and properties of the mother were going to eventually pass to the children after mom's death.

A few years after dad's death, JP's wife divorced him and she got primary custody of their child. After the divorce, all he talked about was keeping his ex from getting her hands on "his money". He bought a house for cash with his inheritance and quit his job. He felt that with no income he wouldn't be forced to pay to support his son. The court lowered his child support to $200/month since he was "jobless". He worked cash jobs and hid the money. He would do anything to keep from sharing "his money" with his ex-wife. For 15 years he never worked a real job, just random gigs for cash to pay his bills. He said he would go back to a real job after his son turned 18 and he wouldn't have to pay additional support.

JP got involved in buying/selling drugs and other illicit items, for cash to pay his bills, and for his own use. Eventually he got himself arrested and had to borrow $60,000 from his now elderly mom to pay for his defense. He was estranged from his siblings. He was waiting for his mom to pass so that he could get his hands on her money. He had always assumed that he would get custody of his brother and access to brother's trust fund, but after his arrest, his sister had mom change her will to give her custody of the disabled brother, and his trust fund. Even though his son was now over 18, he couldn't go back to work because of his felony record. Eventually mom passed away at 80 something, but after 40 years of living off his inheritance, under the table work, and drug money, JP found that his mom had kept an accounting of all that he had "borrowed" over the years and she had deducted it from his share of her estate. He received a few thousand and bitterly complained to anyone who would listen about how his sister and mom "screwed him over".

Now, approaching SS age, he is living on disability due to a botched knee surgery. He cries poverty all the time while living alone in a 4 bedroom home with a large yard, pool, and a couple classic cars. His estranged siblings' stories are somewhat similar. They blew their inheritances through bad marriages, bad investments, and just stupid behavior. An entire generation of a family destroyed by their inheritance. I believe that not having to earn their way in this world left them with some sort of deficit in their thinking around finances, and despite having good parents and upbringing, they all are angry, messed up, entitled individuals.
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Old 03-11-2017, 09:10 AM
 
Location: Delaware
238 posts, read 154,301 times
Reputation: 521
Quote:
Originally Posted by Submariner View Post

Is it true that nobody is trying to help the next generation?

My four sisters and I received an inheritance from my father after he died at 87. We were in our 40s-50s and it helped us in many ways. All four of us were career women, so it didn't paralyze us or cause us to go off the deep end during our prime years.

Wanting to pay it forward to my two children, I've been working with an advisor, trying to be a good steward of the money that I have. It seems to me that it is much more difficult for the millennials to accumulate and save money than it was for boomers. Sometimes the voice in one ear speaks and makes me wonder whether I should send some their way while they are young and I can take some delight in seeing them enjoy it, but the voice in the other ear tells me that they might squander it. So far, I'm just staying the course and keeping with the original plan.

In a nutshell, yes, I want to leave something to my progeny.
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Old 03-11-2017, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Delaware
238 posts, read 154,301 times
Reputation: 521
Quote:
Originally Posted by tbill View Post
At age 11, I received $10,000 of General Motors stock, older brother the same, from grandfather. Parents paid for college for both of us. We each signed up for the service. (Brother - officer in Army, I went into the Navy)

I paid for our only daughter's 4 year college nursing degree as well as her wedding in Maui.

Purchased 200 shares of a stock in 1985 at $185.00 share and put in her name (generates $10K year in dividends) This is now worth $1700 share. It is in a trust, which my wife & I are trustees. I plan to use for the benefit of grandchildren's education.

Hopefully wife and I will have enough to live out our years (age 70/66). Anything left goes into trust for daughter.

God has blessed our family the last three generations, an we have all worked hard thru-out our lives to care for what He has given us.

Loved reading this........
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Old 03-11-2017, 11:10 AM
 
Location: Podunk, IA
4,040 posts, read 1,824,099 times
Reputation: 4310
No heirs, so I'm going to try to spend all of it.

Whatever's left will go to the siblings.
The only thing anyone knows is that my BIL is our executor, so they may get some unexpected cash... or not.

Both of our mothers are still alive (well into their 80's) so we have received no inheritance and have no expectations of one.
If we get something, as far as I'm concerned it's found money.
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Old 03-11-2017, 11:17 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,265 posts, read 6,351,451 times
Reputation: 9885
Quote:
Originally Posted by Q44 View Post
I started planning for retirement when I was in my early 20's when SS raised the retirement age. I'm almost 58 and planning to work for another 3-4 years. One thing I haven't had to do is make catch up contributions to my 401k because I maxed my contributions in the early days and they've had decades to compound. I saved for retirement, my wife saved for the down payment on the house and we delayed starting a family until we felt we could do it right. That included paying for college so they could start their work lives free from student loans.

We have discussed the options for leaving something behind but came up with an idea we think is better. That is to gift the kids money each year for about 10 years each from the time they're in their early 20's to their early 30's and put it in a Roth IRA for each. That gives them a nice sum that will allow for a few decades of compounding. There should still be funds to leave behind but it seems getting the kids started on thinking about their own retirement planning as early as possible is the best legacy we can leave.
This is also my strategy. Time is much more valued than money especially with compounding. The gift of time.
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Old 03-11-2017, 11:24 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,265 posts, read 6,351,451 times
Reputation: 9885
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
This is almost the exact story of my hubby's childhood friend who inherited young and pretty much has destroyed his own life because it made him a lazy loser. I don't know, maybe he was a lazy loser to start! His story follows...as a cautionary tale, for what it's worth.

We'll call him JP. JP's wealthy, successful dad died in his late forties leaving substantial money, life insurance, and commercial properties to his wife, so she never had to work or worry. To his developmentally delayed son he left a trust fund that would support him for life, to his other 3 adult children he left them funds to each purchase a home outright. The funds and properties of the mother were going to eventually pass to the children after mom's death.

A few years after dad's death, JP's wife divorced him and she got primary custody of their child. After the divorce, all he talked about was keeping his ex from getting her hands on "his money". He bought a house for cash with his inheritance and quit his job. He felt that with no income he wouldn't be forced to pay to support his son. The court lowered his child support to $200/month since he was "jobless". He worked cash jobs and hid the money. He would do anything to keep from sharing "his money" with his ex-wife. For 15 years he never worked a real job, just random gigs for cash to pay his bills. He said he would go back to a real job after his son turned 18 and he wouldn't have to pay additional support.

JP got involved in buying/selling drugs and other illicit items, for cash to pay his bills, and for his own use. Eventually he got himself arrested and had to borrow $60,000 from his now elderly mom to pay for his defense. He was estranged from his siblings. He was waiting for his mom to pass so that he could get his hands on her money. He had always assumed that he would get custody of his brother and access to brother's trust fund, but after his arrest, his sister had mom change her will to give her custody of the disabled brother, and his trust fund. Even though his son was now over 18, he couldn't go back to work because of his felony record. Eventually mom passed away at 80 something, but after 40 years of living off his inheritance, under the table work, and drug money, JP found that his mom had kept an accounting of all that he had "borrowed" over the years and she had deducted it from his share of her estate. He received a few thousand and bitterly complained to anyone who would listen about how his sister and mom "screwed him over".

Now, approaching SS age, he is living on disability due to a botched knee surgery. He cries poverty all the time while living alone in a 4 bedroom home with a large yard, pool, and a couple classic cars. His estranged siblings' stories are somewhat similar. They blew their inheritances through bad marriages, bad investments, and just stupid behavior. An entire generation of a family destroyed by their inheritance. I believe that not having to earn their way in this world left them with some sort of deficit in their thinking around finances, and despite having good parents and upbringing, they all are angry, messed up, entitled individuals.
I wonder if he is on CD sometimes.
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Old 03-11-2017, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
30,692 posts, read 49,482,998 times
Reputation: 19136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Q44 View Post
I started planning for retirement when I was in my early 20's when SS raised the retirement age.
I enlisted at 18, I served for 6 years, I hated my career field so I got out. I had some job offers but I went to college on the GI-bill. When I graduated, I looked at the jobs available and I knew I had to make a serious decision.

I was 28. If I re-enlisted I would get a pension after another 14 years. I knew that I was going to hate the job. But I also knew that in 14 years I could get a pension, and if we focused on investing hard enough, we might be able to retire at that point.

So that was what we decided to do. We bought our first apartment complex and I went back into the Navy. We bought apartments at each duty station and collected them until I retired at 42.




Quote:
... We have discussed the options for leaving something behind but came up with an idea we think is better. That is to gift the kids money each year for about 10 years each from the time they're in their early 20's to their early 30's and put it in a Roth IRA for each. That gives them a nice sum that will allow for a few decades of compounding. There should still be funds to leave behind but it seems getting the kids started on thinking about their own retirement planning as early as possible is the best legacy we can leave.
Gifting is a very interesting idea.
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