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Old 03-12-2017, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
21,873 posts, read 23,156,088 times
Reputation: 37276

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
You are probably right. Unfortunately, I think about 1/3 of the people I have met fall into the category of fat, dumb and lazy. Fat because they have no will power to push back away from the table. Dumb because they don't care or make an effort to learn. And lazy because it explains and compliments the other two traits. I try not to make comments directly about such people but I do find it incredibly sad to see what I consider to be a waste of our opportunities.


BTW, none of those are related to physical limitations. I know people with little mobility who have written valuable books for paint or quilt or find other things they can do within their limitations.

Yeah, no judgement there. You have no idea of the specific situation of others unless they tell you - regardless of what they look like. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. My mistake.
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Old 03-12-2017, 06:03 PM
 
6,256 posts, read 4,734,369 times
Reputation: 12845
I was not referring to anyone on this forum. I don't know and have not met anyone here.
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Old 03-12-2017, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Planet Woof
3,139 posts, read 3,509,293 times
Reputation: 9889
''Fat, dumb, and lazy''? Wow...so sweet of you to say.
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Old 03-12-2017, 07:01 PM
 
Location: SoCal
13,229 posts, read 6,335,450 times
Reputation: 9849
Quote:
Originally Posted by arwenmark View Post
Sitting down and surfing the net is a perfectly acceptable act. You can research and learn a great deal that way. I am on it about 12 hours a day, before the net I used to be at the library researching whatever my current interest at the time was.
Also I have always had a sedentary lifestyle and I prefer it, which is good since I am physically unable to do otherwise.

I think the OP is judging others by his own standard which is completely unfair.
I don't think he is judging because he doesn't know you personally. If you can't move then you can't move. But from what I've read people said to move at least every hour. So that's my suggestion to my family. Take a break. Go to a rest room. Get up if you can. If you can't then do your best. There is no one size fits all, I'm afraid.

Last edited by NewbieHere; 03-12-2017 at 08:10 PM..
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Old 03-12-2017, 07:06 PM
 
5,426 posts, read 3,450,730 times
Reputation: 13709
can't get past the fad word 'active'. haven't liked it since it became a fad word a few years ago! hope another word replaces it soon! the word seems to be inherently condescending or.....something :^)
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Old 03-12-2017, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,740,386 times
Reputation: 32304
I can't get past the mis-use of the word "judgemental" as a pejorative. When we come to a conclusion about something or somebody, we have formed a judgment. We need to come to many conclusions in life, such as whom to trust to baby-sit our children or whether to follow a given role model. That doesn't make us "judgemental".

Why can't we accept the OP's observatin that about one-third of the people he has met are fat, dumb, and lazy without having a cow about it? It is his observation, and one of the legitimate topics of discussion in the Retirement Forum is lifestyles. By "accept his observation" I don't mean necessarily agree with it. In our own experience, perhaps a much smaller percentage of the people we have met could be described that way. Or maybe even a larger percentage.

Why can't we have a discussion about the OP's observations and points of view without jumping all over him, which simply creates negativity and hostility and makes an objective discussion all the more difficult. We could opine, for example, that his standards are too high (if that is our belief) and thus unrealistic for the majority of people. That would be a legitimate discussion. There is s way to rebut someone's opinion without hiding behind the "judgemental" meme.
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Old 03-12-2017, 07:33 PM
 
2,740 posts, read 725,012 times
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None of us should judge/disparage anyone else for their activity (the type of activity, the quality and the quantity) as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. The human condition is such that we all have the same 24/7. Our energy is also finite, especially as we age. And most of us don't have unlimited funds either. Therefore we all make choices as to how we live and spend our time. Every choice we make is saying yes to that one thing and therefore no to many others.

The person who exercises constantly may be impressive in terms of the amount of physical activity. But what's being sacrificed? Could be that s/he hasn't read a book in thirty years and does little in intellectual activity.

The person who runs a business or has a fabulous career may be envied as an active person who is doing well in the work world. But it could be that this person doesn't get enough rest and that this may catch up with them. Or maybe they never have any/enough family time.

The social butterfly may be the epitome of an active person, constantly rushing from one social engagement to the next. But s/he may not be giving the time or space to really develop self-knowledge and resilience. I've known very social people who lost all their friends due to divorce or a move...and they were without any resources, internal or external at this point.

The world traveler is active, traversing the world, seeing all sorts of things and meeting people from faraway places. But once again, something else may be sacrificed. Possibly it's something as simple as acquiring the ability to be content and not bored when at home. Maybe they don't take time, energy, or money to really make their home a place where they relish spending time.

I'm a homebody who lives a life I find fulfilling. I get sufficient (for me) physical, mental, spiritual, and social activity...but to many it would appear that I am not getting sufficient social stimulation. And because my time and energy are finite as an introvert I do opt to concentrate on the physical/mental/spiritual and aren't very socially active.

I personally don't like much television and only watch an hour a day. But I don't begrudge those who find more enjoyment in it. I think the only time I get defensive/judgmental about someone else's TV watching is when they criticize me for not knowing the current or past shows or want to focus our social experience together watching a screen (TV, movie, or the coup de grace once when a 50 yo female friend wanted me to watch her play computer games!).

Last edited by jazzcat22; 03-12-2017 at 07:50 PM..
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Old 03-12-2017, 07:39 PM
 
5,426 posts, read 3,450,730 times
Reputation: 13709
from a dictionary:

judg·men·tal
ˌjəjˈmen(t)l/
adjective

of or concerning the use of judgment. (this is definition coinciding with Escort Rider's definition)

"judgmental errors"

having or displaying an excessively critical point of view.


"I don't like to sound judgmental, but it was a big mistake"

synonyms: critical, censorious, condemnatory, disapproving, disparaging, deprecating, negative, overcritical, hypercritical

judg·ment
ˈjəjmənt/Submit
noun
noun: judgement
1.
the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.
"an error of judgment"

synonyms: discernment, acumen, shrewdness, astuteness, sense, common sense, perception, perspicacity, percipience, acuity, discrimination, reckoning, wisdom, wit, judiciousness, prudence, canniness, sharpness, sharp-wittedness, powers of reasoning, reason, logic;
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Old 03-12-2017, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
21,873 posts, read 23,156,088 times
Reputation: 37276
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
I can't get past the mis-use of the word "judgemental" as a pejorative. When we come to a conclusion about something or somebody, we have formed a judgment. We need to come to many conclusions in life, such as whom to trust to baby-sit our children or whether to follow a given role model. That doesn't make us "judgemental".

Why can't we accept the OP's observatin that about one-third of the people he has met are fat, dumb, and lazy without having a cow about it? It is his observation, and one of the legitimate topics of discussion in the Retirement Forum is lifestyles. By "accept his observation" I don't mean necessarily agree with it. In our own experience, perhaps a much smaller percentage of the people we have met could be described that way. Or maybe even a larger percentage.

Why can't we have a discussion about the OP's observations and points of view without jumping all over him, which simply creates negativity and hostility and makes an objective discussion all the more difficult. We could opine, for example, that his standards are too high (if that is our belief) and thus unrealistic for the majority of people. That would be a legitimate discussion. There is s way to rebut someone's opinion without hiding behind the "judgemental" meme.

I wouldnt say his expectations are too high. I would say that his observations are limiting. By making decisions about others when your knowledge is most likely incomplete it does inhibit discussion and compassion. Understanding that everyone's interests and abilities may not mimic our own is something that should be achieved by retirement age. The OP indicates "we should" be living as he does. Yet his observations and descriptions of his friends/acquaintances are that a significant portions of them are fat, dumb and lazy. Why would that even come up in a post that theoretically was to have a thoughtful discussion? Why must disparaging others be necessary to make a point?

Last edited by maciesmom; 03-12-2017 at 08:08 PM..
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Old 03-12-2017, 07:50 PM
 
2,740 posts, read 725,012 times
Reputation: 7081
This article discusses being discerning versus judgmental (discernment does notice differences in the qualities of people, whereas judgment addresses the entire worth of a person). Of course a person can look at another person and say that person is overweight or may weigh over 300 pounds. That's discerning. But when that person is "fat and lazy and stupid," that's judgment.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...-be-discerning

And an article on trying to be less judgmental (while acknowledging that we as humans do tend to be judgmental). It talks about judging without understanding and striving to understand, accept, and even love:

https://zenhabits.net/a-simple-metho...hat-means-you/
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