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I've heard that some couples do it in order to qualify for medicaid. Not sure how that works though.
I've heard of this as well as well a couples deciding not to get married later in life due to medicaid concerns. Like you I don't know all the particulars, but no doubt it has to due to income requirements... *sigh*
A friend of mine just ended her 28 year marriage last year. Her and her ex knew each other a total of 32 years. I was very surprised. According to my friend, she had not been been happy for about 3 years before finally deciding to file for divorce.
Her and her ex are in their mid 50's. My friend said peace of mind was important. Yes, she is navigating her life as a single woman after almost 32 years (28 married 2 kids), and it is a little scary, but for her, she didn't want to live the rest of her life in a marriage for appearance sake only- the children are grown so I believe she felt that since the problems existed for a while and there was no sign of improvement in the marriage, it was time to bounce and although there was financial consideration that did not outweigh happiness for both of them.
One good thing though, it was a friendly divorce and they touch base with each other about twice a month and the mother-in-laws are still on good terms with their ex son/daughter-in-laws.
I wonder how many people who are getting divorces currently in their 60s, 70s or older, if they could turn back time, would have divorced maybe in their late 40s-mid 50s? Like the song goes, "Everybody's got a hungry heart." appears to be no age limit on the hunger..
My own brother was divorced by his wife of 40 years, at the age of 62. He was really upset about it, and now at age 67, is still single and still bitter about the divorce. He claims he still loves his ex, and always asks their daughter, who sees her mother frequently, if she can arrange a meeting. But the answer is always no.
I think it has a lot to do with the type of partner that was chosen earlier in life. It is true that people change, but some will stick with it, and some won't. My own wife and I have changed a great deal over the years (I am 69, she is 67), but we don't seem to annoy each other, and there is still much affection there.
While senior divorce may save money in some ways, I would argue that the reverse is more often true. My brother's divorce left him broke and homeless. His ex got the house and a lot of the financial assets. He now lives in his own cabin on my 33 acres in Maine. He may yet move away someday, but he'll always have that place to come home to if he needs it.
People who get divorced are not necessarily looking for a new, different companion. They may just be unhappy with the spouse and, after years of not being able to improve the situation, they decide that they can't continue in the relationship any longer. They may find that they are happier alone than with that particular person.
people who get divorced are not necessarily looking for a new, different companion. They may just be unhappy with the spouse and, after years of not being able to improve the situation, they decide that they can't continue in the relationship any longer. They may find that they are happier alone than with that particular person.
While senior divorce may save money in some ways, I would argue that the reverse is more often true. My brother's divorce left him broke and homeless. His ex got the house and a lot of the financial assets. He now lives in his own cabin on my 33 acres in Maine. He may yet move away someday, but he'll always have that place to come home to if he needs it.
It is rare anyone benefits financially during a divorce. If a woman has never worked outside the home, she'll end up worse off. Men almost always end up losing something as well.
It is rare anyone benefits financially during a divorce.
... except for, well, the divorce attorneys.
It brings to mind the old joke: Why do divorces cost so much? Because they're worth it.
Then there is the old story about the divorced father with his 5 year-old son waiting to be seated at a casual breakfast restaurant. His son is fidgeting, so the father gives him 3 nickels to play with while they wait. The son starts choking as the father realizes the son had put the nickels in his mouth. He slaps the kids back, and 2 nickels come out, but the 3rd is still lodged in the son's airway, and the son is still choking.
"Help! My son's choking! Is there a doctor here?"
A well-dressed professional woman calmly sets down her coffee cup & newspaper and walks over to the child, pulls down his pants, grabs his testicles, and begins to twist & squeeze them until the kid coughs up the lodged coin.
"Thank you, thank you. Are you by chance an ER doctor?"
Well, I'm one of those people who's 70 and still on the right side of the sod. Having very recently lost my wife I suppose that at some point in time I could consider a social life but I doubt it. Regrettably we only had 20+ years of marriage but she was a remarkable lady and I'd only compare any other woman to her and I guarantee they'd be found wanting. It wouldn't be fair to them.
Sadly, I can never have my wife back because she passed away. By the same token and while I can certainly understand an elderly person divorcing to get out of an abusive marriage, leaving a long-standing relationship because of perceived "greener pastures" just doesn't resonate with me. I can't conceive of wanting to ever date or, especially, remarry. Good relationships take a lot of hard and sustained work and quite frankly, I no longer have the emotional energy for that nor do I want it.
I truly think there's some cognitive impairment with in situations in which older people bail on one another after years of love and companionship. Either that or the stress of taking care of a spouse who needs such support just becomes too much for them and they're too proud to seek assistance. Caregiving isn't for the faint of heart - I know because I spent the last six years doing it 24/7 - but it seems a thoughtless, flimsy and selfish excuse to leave a long-standing relationship.
All any of us have is the rest of our lives. I read once about a couple getting a divorce in their 80's. They waited for their children to die.
So there was a couple with above average life expectancy that had children who just happened to have had a lower than average life expectancy than their parents? And the parents "waited" for their children to die? Who are these sociopaths?
You "read a story" about this? Seems implausible. If they're in their 80's, even if they had kids at 12, the children (plural, they had to wait for multiple children to actually die...sounds like a horror movie) would still only be in their 60's when they croaked.
But the parents were waiting for their kids to die? So they could then get a divorce?
Not buying it at all.
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