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Well, I'm one of those people who's 70 and still on the right side of the sod. Having very recently lost my wife I suppose that at some point in time I could consider a social life but I doubt it. Regrettably we only had 20+ years of marriage but she was a remarkable lady and I'd only compare any other woman to her and I guarantee they'd be found wanting. It wouldn't be fair to them.
Sadly, I can never have my wife back because she passed away. By the same token and while I can certainly understand an elderly person divorcing to get out of an abusive marriage, leaving a long-standing relationship because of perceived "greener pastures" just doesn't resonate with me. I can't conceive of wanting to ever date or, especially, remarry. Good relationships take a lot of hard and sustained work and quite frankly, I no longer have the emotional energy for that nor do I want it.
I truly think there's some cognitive impairment with in situations in which older people bail on one another after years of love and companionship. Either that or the stress of taking care of a spouse who needs such support just becomes too much for them and they're too proud to seek assistance. Caregiving isn't for the faint of heart - I know because I spent the last six years doing it 24/7 - but it seems a thoughtless, flimsy and selfish excuse to leave a long-standing relationship.
I also think I'm rambling so I'll stop there.
Sorry for your loss, I hope that in time you can relish the great memories you had together and that the thought of your loved one mostly brings you happiness.
People who get divorced are not necessarily looking for a new, different companion. They may just be unhappy with the spouse and, after years of not being able to improve the situation, they decide that they can't continue in the relationship any longer. They may find that they are happier alone than with that particular person.
Very true, some who do this later in life are ready for some Peace. Not looking for another partner. We kept telling my mom to "leave him" but she never would, back then, everyone stuck thru it all. They were married 63 yrs and mom died at 91, dad at 96, boy did he miss her when she was gone. No one to take care of him as I saw it all their lives. She took care of him. Reflecting on their lives, my dad should never have been married, certainly not a Father Knows Best type. But not a bad man, just not a good husband/father.
I've heard that some couples do it in order to qualify for medicaid. Not sure how that works though.
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Originally Posted by NYPeach
I've heard of this as well as well a couples deciding not to get married later in life due to medicaid concerns. Like you I don't know all the particulars, but no doubt it has to due to income requirements... *sigh*
It could also be a handy reason to cover not WANTING to get (re)married. Many folks who've already had their families or are past wanting a family see little need to get married, especially if finances will get complicated (regardless of whether income requirements affect them). For some it's "been there, done that"...and having no desire to "play house" just in order to "play".
I know a man who, at 90, built a new house and got a 30-year mortgagefrom a banker. Man's wife said, "What idiot gives a 30-year mortage to a 90-year-old?"
My dad was 78 and still talking about one day living part-time in his old childhood home in the mountains of North Carolina.
"You're 78, Dad," I told him. "Don't you think it's time to DO it instead of talking about it?"
He died a month short of his 80th birthday, and never did move.
My in-laws advised us to travel while we were younger and still able to. Now we're almost 65, my health has significantly deteriorated and husband is still saying "Someday."
Someday is passing is by at a rapid clip.
Re: the bolded... Probably the same bank that gave me, then 73, a 30 year mortgage. I guess they figure it'll get paid off when I die so they don't care.
I just remembered I had cousins who divorced in their late 80's. They hadn't been happy for a long time and when she withdrew $100,000 from one of their accounts and didn't tell him, he did the same thing withdrawing the same amount from another account and left her.
I have an ex brother in law and his wife who have, since his retirement 20 years ago, become The Bickersons. I don't think they EVER have a good word to say to one another, ever. I'm amazed they haven't divorced. Both are in their 80s now and not going anywhere but I'd sure hate to live in that atmosphere. I've known them almost 60 years now and they weren't that way when they were young.
I've heard of this as well as well a couples deciding not to get married later in life due to medicaid concerns. Like you I don't know all the particulars, but no doubt it has to due to income requirements... *sigh*
You are correct. I've only ever known one couple who divorced for "medicaid concerns". It's been about ten years so I don't know if things are still the same or not, as far as rules and regs.. They were sad that they had to legally divorce but they never left one another and lived together till he died. Being legally married does have it's advantages but for them it had disadvantages as well.
My observation of many married couples is that the marriage was shaky to start with and never got better. Perhaps, there were social pressures to marry. Perhaps, there was a pregnancy. Perhaps, one acted precipitously and regretted the marriage ever after. Kids come along. People do activities as couples. Family parties work so much better for couples and families than single people.
In any event, pressures build up over the years until with many people you literally have a pressure cooker that is waiting to explode. Often there is a final event or last straw. It maybe an affair. It maybe a noticeable problem with alcohol or drugs. However, suddenly all those pressures and BAMM
So there was a couple with above average life expectancy that had children who just happened to have had a lower than average life expectancy than their parents? And the parents "waited" for their children to die? Who are these sociopaths?
You "read a story" about this? Seems implausible. If they're in their 80's, even if they had kids at 12, the children (plural, they had to wait for multiple children to actually die...sounds like a horror movie) would still only be in their 60's when they croaked.
But the parents were waiting for their kids to die? So they could then get a divorce?
Not buying it at all.
It's a joke, not an actual occurrence.
Even though Morris and Sadie had been married for a very, very long time, they still decided to visit a divorce lawyer in Camden Town. At the first meeting, the solicitor asks them, "Why in the world do you want to get divorced? You each look well into your nineties. Why now of all times?"
Morris replies, "Actually, I'm 102 and my wife Sadie is 101."
The solicitor is totally bemused and asks them again "So why do you want a divorce now?"
Sadie replies this time, "Well, we wanted to wait until all of the children were dead."
I am 60, my husband, 68. We just separated after four years of marriage. I doubt if we will get a divorce, but instead just live separately 3,000 miles away from each other. His brain injury, sustained on our second wedding anniversary, caused his personality to change. He lost cognitive function and became severely depressed. I tried very hard for two years, as did he.
Divorce is mostly about who gets how much money. Not our problem, fortunately. We both share everything equally.
It's not the end of the world, but it's no fun either.
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I guess they figure it'll get paid off when I die so they don't care. 
