Now that you're retired, do you have some regrets across the expanse of your life? (divorce, moving)

[matisse12]

Now that you're retired or perhaps pre-retirement, do you have some regrets across some of your life, during various periods? Surveying some regrets, but not dwelling on them in a way that gets in the way of current contentment, happiness, or sense of well-being.

[LiveLoveLaugh]

I regret I didn't sell my florida house to live full time in my dream house BEFORE the recession. Oh well, I am deeply grateful to be healthy happy and retired!!!!! WOOOOHOOOOO

[StealthRabbit]

Many of us have very deep regrets, but of course we made decisions based on the situation, not with benefit of our now decades of mistakes. AND it is really hard to quantify something as a 'mistake', when it was only a detour to make us into the person we have become.

Being AFRAID to make mistakes, or to be reluctant to take a risk would have sequestered us to a very safe / slow / sterile existence.

There are many here who have been thrown significant challenges, and have emerged a better person, in spite of no interest / intent to endure that route of the journey (eldercare / spousal care, abuse, financial ruin, poor health, accidents, fires...).
I am so GRATEFUL for them and their stories, hints, ideas and stamina.

My Room for improvement...
1) I THINK / FEEL I would have been much better served had I pursued a LOT more adventures, rather than taking the 'secure employment' / service / duty route of career. Of course one wicked CEO detoured that route for 300k of us and the collateral damage to dependents, customers, and supply chain. Similar happened to millions (and continues).
2) Offering better advice for the college choices of my kids. (but still would chose to not fund them, that is minor)
3) Being multilingual as a family (from day 1) Give the kids more headstarts to a global economy and enjoyment
4) ALWAYS giving more of myself to others (Ez to be selfish!, even when caring for a parent, neighbors, and homeschooling)
5) Be nice to others (that would have been REALLY smart in Jr high and HS - my 'lost' yrs ... total waste and VERY surprised I lived through those yrs. Had come from a country school to a city school big mistake for 90% of us in my class / school)

Most importantly, I should have NOT been saving for retirement!!! what a silly concept (vapor plan) And so easily demonstrated my my own parent and other family members who never even made it close to retirement age. For WHAT? freedom(?) at an age / health you can LEAST enjoy it

next life...
Age 12 - 16 develop and implement a plan to create lifetime / lifestyle earnings and financial security.
There were lots of options besides "payroll savings plan + 40 yrs in the trenches serving a profit centric economy. Today there are MANY more options and information is plentiful. But... BTDT through my dad who had his first company at age 14 ()and 3 hired employees), but... at age 49, running 7 businesses he suffered a debilitating, very terrible stroke and was under (my) care for the next 32 yrs. I took the 'safer' route, REGRETFULLY to not the optimal route for me, but the choices were few)

Fortunately my kids are doing far better in balancing their life (so far). The will make a lot of mistakes they will have a lot of regrets.

I trust they can live ABOVE their circumstances and never dwell on regrets, just learn and MOVE-ON, they have a good headstart.

Retire early, retire often (fewer regrets!(?)) Maybe.... maybe not

Target retirement age next life = age 16!

[jertheber]

Most people have some level of regret way before retiring, and a lot have carried their burden of regret into their old age. For me the past years were like those of most people in that I did some really stupid stuff but had some fun in the doing. Lost a good business in the recession of 1970 when the, "will the last person to leave please turn out the lights" signs went up in Seattle. Went on to a worse situation in Alaska, and from there to a failing marriage. Regrets? yeah, but all those speed bumps in life just made me want to try a little harder to get back on track. I'd think that those who have no such resolve would have a ton of regret for that lacking. Helping an adult daughter get back on her feet provides some perspective on the issues surrounding being down on one's luck..Life really is full of surprises---just like mom and dad said..

[Clemencia53]

Originally Posted by matisse12

Now that you're retired or perhaps pre-retirement, do you have some regrets across some of your life, during various periods? Surveying some regrets, but not dwelling on them in a way that gets in the way of current contentment, happiness, or sense of well-being.

Took in too many animals. Bought the house I always wanted and now I don't like it. That was during my everything vintage phase and i'm over that - lol. And really until some of these animals cross the bridge - I cant move.

[NYgal1542]

Yes, I have regrets.

Married someone I didn't love. Had a couple of kids before I knew what being a good parent was. I'm sure I made mistakes with them that I greatly regret. Many years after divorce moved out of state for a job that never materialized after I got there. Moved back at the suggestion of a "friend" who offered to get an apartment with me so I would have a home but things really went south when I discovered it wasn't a good roommate situation.

Now I'm 75, and pretty much talked myself out of relocation. My first move that ended badly had scared me into thinking another move would probably end badly, too. Now don't seem to have a lot of motivation. Sick of feeling tired all the time (from what I have no idea). And feeling very lonely at times. No close friendships, no family relationships. After writing this and reading it, sounds like depression which is a problem I've had most of my life. I do take meds for it, sometimes they don't seem to be working. I need exercise but can't seem to get moving. Tell myself I'm lazy which does not help.

So, yes I have regrets.

[PAhippo]

sure. Is it possible not to have regrets? Shoulda, woulda, coulda, didn't.


I read something once: don't trip over what's behind you. Pretty much sums it up for me.

[Minervah]

Sure I do. I don't know of anyone who has a life so perfect they have no regrets. Making less than the best decisions cause regrets but then it's pretty difficult to determine how a decision will turn out. So my regrets revolve around not having a crystal ball to tell me the outcome of some of the more unfortunate decisions I've made in my life.

[engineman]

Old story, you get too soon old and too late smart.

[upnorthretiree]

My biggest regret is not figuring out my issues with food. I like to exercise, and always have done so and continue to do so, but weight is a big issue, as I always have turned to food to deal with any uncomfortable emotion. On the one hand, eating got me through some dismal times. And drugs would have been worse! On the other hand, why would a reasonably smart, reasonably well adjusted and happy person turn to food to deal with emotions? Don't know the answer or I wouldn't be doing it. This has always been the biggest failure in my life. So I keep trying and keep exercising. Other than that, I have no idea what the fallout would have been if I had made different choices about anything, and life has worked out pretty well with the choices I made, so no other regrets. I am so happy with my big choice on retirement to move from a big metro area in the East to a house on a quiet, lovely midwestern island. I know there might be another move off the island at some point if medical issues demand it, but I've had six great years here, and as Gershwin says, they can't take that away from me!