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An older retired person who had a life of work in an elevated status can find the days in retirement to be a kind of hell on earth, so, going back in time feels good, and, props up their self esteem in an otherwise greatly diminished existence. I have experienced my share of openly condescending braggarts and their presence can be hard to endure, but, I'm more the type to attempt to sway the conversation to something other than their penchant for the spotlight.
I was in hospital in Boston 20 yrs ago.
They brought an old guy in to share the room.
He told the nurse that his son is the director of this wing, I thought thats kinda impressive.
Next morning the nurse asked him "how are you doing this mornin"?
He says "not too good"
She replied "why don't you get well and get out of here then".
I realized the old guy had been trying to lord it over the staff and they didn't appreciate it.
Don't mess with experienced nurses, they don't suffer fools.
They remind me of waitresses in a diner....(eat it or wear it).
Enablers are the greatest thieves of all.
Why should other seniors have to coddle an ego maniac? Most of us have had enough of this type and want to escape it in retirement.
Exactly!
They are no better than anyone else except they have trouble being irrelevant today. I have a neighbor like that, he thinks he is wonderful, but in the over scheme of life, he isn't as important as he tells himself. We generally avoid him as I have better things to do with my time than stroke his ego. At this stage of life it isn't about yesterday but how we live today and who we can reach out to help.
We are all somebody, that is what the neighbor doesn't seem to get. At this point, some of us have learned to be centered in our life as we don't have much of it left.
Remember the Desiderata..."If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser person's than yourself."
I talk to lonely guy on the corner a lot on my late night bike rides. I met him three years ago when he was 77 and getting divorced. The poor thing was a wreck. He looked so lost sitting there on his porch so I stopped to talk to him. He seemed to enjoy the dogs. I guess he had a nice house and a yacht, or so he says. I don't know. He said he designed warehouses and made a boat load of money doing it. He points to his Lincoln and says it's his tenth one. I actually did see a picture of him in a magazine and he was a commander or some big shot in the yachting community, sorry, I forgot. None of it matters. He's just an old man reliving the best years of his life. Yes I've heard the stories over and over again. It's okay. I'll listen, give him a hug, and ride my bike until the wee hours of the morning. I did something nice for someone coming to the end of his life and it makes me happy. So did those mai tai's we shared one hot summer night. Poor old guy. He's starting to go down hill fast. Let him talk. Some night I'll ride by his house and he won't be there. I'll miss him.
I don't know whether it's because I'm female or not, but no one ever asks me what I used to do. There are times when I'd like an opportunity to talk about my work life as I see so many men of my generation do. Maybe that's a peculiarity of our age group that women may be assumed not to have anything important to talk about in that respect?
Actually, I find nearly everybody's life story of interest and am surprised at how little curiosity people around me have. I don't think it's politeness/not being intrusive because I see men do it.
And I don't care how humble one's job has been. Sometimes in their stories there are absolute gems of the importance they made in their circle of influence.
Do I need to tell people the important things I think I've done in order to feel good about myself? I guess not or I'd be feeling more unfulfilled than I do. But I've lived an interesting work life and would love to get to talk about it sometime without looking like one of those people who are resting on their laurels. I know that it would make me feel good and also help others understand who I am better.
Maybe people are afraid that if they ask a person will never shut up? Heh.
I know what I have done, and not done, in my life. Since I don't talk about it, I find it interesting to see how "dumb" or "smart"
others think I am. Some people attempt to treat me like their employee, while others see me as a companion with no regard to what I did before I retired.
Like someone said, if you keep your mouth shut, other people will never know how dumb you are!
People don't HAVE to be a "nobody" when they retire. Health and cognitive skills permitting, they can volunteer and serve on boards and committees in their area of expertise. My father-in-law was a professional "somebody" in his medium-sized town--owned an engineering company and was civically active. He did very well for himself but never boasted about it before or after. When he retired, he volunteered with the Small Business Assoc. as a consultant and volunteered for a number of causes he cared about.
If they don't want to or can't volunteer, I think people who are living on past glory should at least try to cultivate some interests and develop a richer inner life.
If the retiree is merely a narcissist that feels compelled to impress others with how important they are or were (with strong insinuations that you are much less important) than I don't have time for them. And no, it's not because I have accomplished little in my own life. I prefer to spend time with people who genuinely care about and are interested in other people and not just in appearances or one-upmanship.
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