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Old 03-11-2008, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Lovelock, NV - Anchorage, AK
1,197 posts, read 3,785,555 times
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Now that you and your spouse are retired, do you get tired of being around each other all the time. How do you deal with the fact that they are around 24/7, is it an issue that we need to be concerned about?

My husband and I have been married for 35 years this year rigth after I turned 18. We are very close to one another but my concern is if we don't have a place to go for 8-10 hours a day will we get tired of each other.

In the beginning we have 1-2 years of getting our retirement home together so will be fairly busy.
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Old 03-11-2008, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Prospect, KY
5,255 posts, read 11,556,810 times
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I think it is really important to have interests other than spending every moment with your husband/wife. I have girlfriends that I go shopping and out to lunch with, book club, gardening friends, a group that meets to go to the show and out to lunch once a month and we both need alone time too. Just going for a walk or reading a book for some alone time is something I enjoy doing.

My husband has a group of friends that he meets with every morning just to laugh, shoot the breeze and start the morning (they meet at a local 7-11 of all places - a group of retired and younger men from a broad range of backgrounds)...he meets them around 5:30 am and comes home around 6:30 and 3 or 4 times a week we walk 2 miles to a local cafe for breakfast. He loves to read, exercise and do projects around the house.

With that being said, we spend quite a bit of time together also...but not every waking moment - being apart some of the time can be a very good thing for a relationship.
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Old 03-11-2008, 03:41 PM
 
Location: Home is where the heart is
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We like lots of short, separate activities throughout the day, and getting together in between them to share our adventures. It works well for us because we have different interests, anyway.

I can spend hours gardening--and he gets bored with it after 30 minutes. He can spend hours looking through computer parts at a swap meet. I'm yawning after 30 minutes. So I garden and he looks at computer parts and then we get together for lunch.
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Old 03-11-2008, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Lovelock, NV - Anchorage, AK
1,197 posts, read 3,785,555 times
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Thats what I'm thinking, my husband loves to tinker in the shop, I like to wood work heck I may even get back into sewing and learn to knit. We plan to get a couple of 4 wheelers and go explore in hills and then some days I will just send him and his friends in there.

This going to be so wonderful.....
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Old 03-11-2008, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Log home in the Appalachians
10,040 posts, read 6,638,187 times
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I retired back in 1993. My wife retired in 2001, I have a woodshop and I get together in the morning with some friends with the same interests, my wife does quilting and does the newsletter for the local quilting guild she belongs to, she likes spending some time on the computer on the Internet as do I, we each have our own computers in different locations in the house, sometimes we go out for lunch and we have dinner together every evening, so we keep pretty busy.
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Old 03-11-2008, 04:44 PM
 
Location: Lovelock, NV - Anchorage, AK
1,197 posts, read 3,785,555 times
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Good for you sounds great, I look forward to spending time together as well as spending time apart.

We are purchasing a brand new home, remodeling will be out of the picture but I would assume I could paint the walls, we will need to build a deck outside. Fortunatly my husband and I get along quite well and enjoy each others company but I do see where we will need our own space too.
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Old 03-11-2008, 04:51 PM
 
Location: WA
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We are best friends and while we enjoy each others company we still have different interests. On many days we have separate schedules doing different things and even take separate trips occasionally but are happy we have more time together than apart.
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Old 03-11-2008, 07:18 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW / CO / SA TX / Thailand
11,174 posts, read 18,555,303 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdelena View Post
We are best friends ...even take separate trips occasionally but are happy we have more time together than apart.
we do this too ... share some interests, and some friends. As an early retiree it is a great time for individual travel and classes (while you're still spry) . It's fun to go see elderly aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews, and do the things you wished you could have done to help others, when you were tied to the time-clock. We each like to go and spend a week with relatives in the areas we grew up as kids. It is easier to have those 'long-reminiscing talks' with only one of you, and interestingly enough, we each have a surviving parent that appreciates us coming solo, for the 'undivided' attention it gives them.

Part-time jobs for each of us during the year give us some spending $$ for these trips, and some more space too.

As I look at some of our much older friends, They seem to enjoy their separate and 'together' hobbies, and even competing against each other in the county fair for cooking, canning, photo, and crafts. One gal painted rocks into animals and designs, while her husband was building their house. The rocks were really special later in life and placed a lot of places around their 80 acres and each had a story. One couple in their 90's enjoy their daily game of Yahtzee together. I think having a 'separate' space is important, (whether it is a barn or a sewing / fly tying room and helping each other to outfit their space to ultimate comfort goes a long way in encouragement and support. It was fun to watch a couple in their late 80's work together yesterday as I dropped by to plant a bunch of trees and rake their acreage and burn brush. They needed to work together to move trees and get stuff lined up to keep the pile burning. We had a great day together, but my spouse was not there , tho helped with the same task last year.

Tressa, as you expect... there is plenty of work in 'finishing' a new house, gosh, I'm not sure I could do the landscaping / sprinklers / sidewalks / storage sheds again,,, (on home # 15...) My accounting professor has built 30 !!! he even did unique molding in each room with inlaid designs in this last one... and always a hand laid stone fireplace / tile work... ugh, I guess I'm ready for retirement!

Last edited by StealthRabbit; 03-11-2008 at 07:33 PM..
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Old 03-12-2008, 12:14 AM
 
Location: Lovelock, NV - Anchorage, AK
1,197 posts, read 3,785,555 times
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Thanks Janb, I'm hoping to not do a bunch of remodeling as the place will be new but as far as the landscaping we are both looking forward to that and we share the same idea's of trees and schrubs to plant, my husband is the green thumb, my favorite plant is the beautiful pink rose vase my son gave me for mother's day. The only reason that is still looks great is cuz it's silk. I have been know to plant silk plants outside to make them look real.

The deck and outfitting it with deck furnishing will be fun
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Old 03-12-2008, 12:45 AM
NCN
 
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If we just had to live in one room, we would probably get tired of each other. What I really like is getting to go places together. We both had service jobs and my dh is still working from home, so getting to be together was a real problem. He used to be gone about 50 hours per week. I first wondered how it would be having him home messing up while I was still at work. Then the opportunity to retire came to me and I decided to come home and fix his lunch and dinner. He just snacks for lunch and I still only have to fix one meal. So now he works 4 ten hour days and we have three days a week off together. I would really like it if he were to retire too and we could travel more, but if he quit work, would be have enough money to travel. He gets several weeks off a year, so we are doing all right.
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