U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-10-2017, 07:06 AM
 
1 posts, read 2,377 times
Reputation: 17

Advertisements

I just retired June 30th 2017 and feel as if I am now having a sort of mental or emotional breakdown. I left my job/career, I am also selling my home as my wife and I are moving to another state. I am not sure what value I have anymore. Getting up and going to work every day seemed to bring value, certainly money. Now, who am I? What am I? What do I do? My question is will this panic pass, and is it somewhat normal to freak out like this when you first retire?
Thanks,
Trad
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-10-2017, 08:51 AM
 
654 posts, read 308,337 times
Reputation: 1225
I'm not retired yet but I think it is normal to feel stress in times of great change. It will pass.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2017, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,767 posts, read 4,825,615 times
Reputation: 19387
Trad, what interests do you have that you were never able to indulge previously due to your work schedule? Would you like to take up a new hobby or sport, like golf or pickleball? Would you like to see more of our beautiful country, or perhaps travel abroad? Would you like to volunteer for a cause that holds meaning for you? What skills do you have that you could share with others? Have you ever considered starting a small business in an area of your particular interests? Do you have an intellectual curiosity about a topic that might be explored by auditing college courses, or getting a degree?

You sound sort of lost and are starting to spin in your own head. Take a little time to think about the questions I've asked. Retirement is not an end, but a new beginning, a chance to reinvent yourself. If you feel you must work, now you have the opportunity to work at whatever you always wanted to, without the burden of having to insure that your second career must support your lifestyle.

Let's just say that you always had an interest in ...oh I don't know...marine biology. Now you can take college courses in that, often free or at low cost due to special programs for seniors, and learn all that fascinating fish stuff. You can volunteer your knowledge and skills at the local aquarium, or even apply for an internship or paid job there. If you earn your degree, maybe you would apply for grants to study some aspect of that knowledge in your local area and make valuable contributions to the world of science based upon your work. I know this is a made up example, but what I'm saying is that you are only limited by your own imagination.

Your new plan could involve skills from your past employment, but with a twist. Say you were a lawyer, now you could work pro bono to provide basic legal work or consultations for elderly or impoverished clients. If you were a CPA you could register to provide free tax services for those in need. If you were a doctor, you could join Doctors Without Borders. Retired pilots here provide "Honor Flights", free flights for veterans without funds to travel, to see the war memorials in Washington DC. The possibilities are endless, and the need is like a bottomless pit of opportunities to feel useful. In other words you can "work part-time", but with a higher purpose, and more free time. You can do these things as much or as little as you want, and no consequences to you if you decide to stop or take a break for any reason at all.

This is your time to find a new you. If you try something and it doesn't work out, no big deal. Try something else. Perhaps right now you are just overwhelmed with the prospect of a future without a plan for how your days are "supposed" to go. That's okay. It's okay to be freaked out, it's sort of normal even. Just start thinking about some of the questions in this post and take your time to figure out your new direction. Sitting in front of a TV all day does not have to be your future, unless that's what you want it to be.

Last edited by TheShadow; 07-10-2017 at 09:41 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2017, 09:26 AM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,042,575 times
Reputation: 12805
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trad777 View Post
I just retired June 30th 2017 and feel as if I am now having a sort of mental or emotional breakdown. I left my job/career, I am also selling my home as my wife and I are moving to another state. I am not sure what value I have anymore. Getting up and going to work every day seemed to bring value, certainly money. Now, who am I? What am I? What do I do? My question is will this panic pass, and is it somewhat normal to freak out like this when you first retire?
Thanks,
Trad
Those are a lot of big changes, so these feelings would be normal.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2017, 09:49 AM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,924 posts, read 986,927 times
Reputation: 6929
You are aware of it so you can deal with it. When the panic starts, make a mental list of the positive things that are happening in your life. "Count your blessings"


If you haven't had a checkup in awhile, get one, but I am not suggesting antidepressants Just a general wellness check if its been awhile.


You are the person now who can slow down a little, sleep a little later, or if you are like me, enjoy the morning and take a nap in the afternoon. Think of something you didn't have time to do when you were working and do it. Read a book, bake a cake from scratch, gain or lose a few pounds. Model cars or airplanes? Get "in shape". spend more time with the dog. Small things.


My identity was very much connected to my working life. I was a nurse and I had a panic attack once in a grocery store when a car backed through a wall and into the produce dept. I felt like I needed to help, but I retired because I was no longer able to do my job, so luckily, my brain over rode my emotions and I didn't get in the way.

I rarely tell people now that I was a nurse. It is no longer "who I am".

I love being retired
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2017, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,960 posts, read 3,451,255 times
Reputation: 10475
My situation was different as I had to stop working due to a back injury but it took me about a year to get out of work mode & stop getting up at 6 am. It takes awhile to enjoy the freedom you now have.

Keep reading the forum. You'll find great suggestions here.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2017, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,119 posts, read 9,068,748 times
Reputation: 11540
Oh my, yes. This is normal. It's not a mental breakdown. It's your mind, reworking your current situation, realizing a major change has occurred and 'everything is up for grabs' right now.

As time passes, you will feel better and will look forward to your new life as a retiree. Count on it !
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2017, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
5,686 posts, read 4,408,388 times
Reputation: 11639
Oh, you are just having the "Other Senior Moments." My DH and I both went thru that and decided to volunteer right out of the gate at retirement. We each did some things for a while and that was ok. My DH volunteered at a charter high school to mentor a student; I taught a semester of English as a second language. We both did (and still do) volunteer with dog rescue groups. I would bring my dog to a nursing home and put on a little show (he did lots of funny tricks) and I participated in a few events at Habitat for Humanity.... And we likely will do more volunteer work in the future.

But, like you, we became engaged in the dynamics of buying and selling residences to change our location and right now we are busy with getting settled into our new location. There is so much to do during a move and going to a new place! After you get settled, you will find your way. My DH just became involved in a community service group that does light home maintainance for disabled/seniors such as changing furnace filters, replacing hard to reach lightbulbs and many other things that are challenging for folks with mobility issues. Hold your head high and congrats for the retirement and opening a new chapter.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2017, 12:00 PM
 
Location: SF, CA
1,508 posts, read 677,239 times
Reputation: 2331
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trad777 View Post
I just retired June 30th 2017 and feel as if I am now having a sort of mental or emotional breakdown. I left my job/career, I am also selling my home as my wife and I are moving to another state. I am not sure what value I have anymore. Getting up and going to work every day seemed to bring value, certainly money. Now, who am I? What am I? What do I do? My question is will this panic pass, and is it somewhat normal to freak out like this when you first retire?
Thanks,
Trad


Remember, when you were a kid, the last day of the school year? Wasn't that delicious, looking ahead to three months of summer to do what you pleased? Now the rest of your life is summer vacation! Once you've moved, I'd suggest relaxing a while, then look around for things that need doing that aren't getting done... are the parks in your new city a mess? Does the library need improvement? Etc.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2017, 12:53 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
31,971 posts, read 36,594,800 times
Reputation: 38549
Also, recall how you felt when your kids left home for college?

Lonely at first but after 6 months you really liked the freedom.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top