Did Your Adult Kids Turn Out the Way you hoped they would?
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Yes, not so much that kids turned into lawyers, doctors or entrepreneurs, but that they followed the parent's teachings and morals and became good honest citizens.
Without going into detail, I can say I am shocked at what I have learned about one of my kids recently. Events occurred in High School, which I never knew about, because she never told me (us). This has tainted her whole life, her choice of men, her relationships with people, her moods, her marriage, and the way she deals with stress. Now, I thought we had a very good, honest relationship and I was always there for her. Now I see there was some flaw in my parenting that did not let me recognize a child in trouble.
It's all after the fact now and leads me to believe we probably do not know all that we should about our kids. Adolescence especially is difficult. Some survive and grow stronger. Some don't.
Parenthood scares the hell out of me. I am middle-aged from Generation X and never got married. I have many relatives and friends who did (and got divorced or had parenthood nightmares). Parenthood seems to have the potential of zapping all sense of logic and appreciation (in some cases). I have witnessed parental pain and burnout many, many times. Why would one rapidly sign up for something like that?
Maybe one of these days I'll do it when I grow up (LOL).
It helps if this part of life is deliberated over by both prospective parents. And this coming from someone with less than ideal parents. Two things helped tremendously in our case. A strong sense of fairness, especially from parent to child. And a consistency of discipline within the household.
I don't have kids, but I know my dad doesn't like the way I turned out. He can't stand the fact that I'm not interested in dating and really have no social life. Even though I never complain about it and I'm perfectly happy with my Iifestyle choice, it just drives him up the wall.
He is also a Type A, go getter whose life revolves around his business, and I'm the complete opposite. I love taking vacations, readily admit that my job is just a means to an end, and that my goal is to retire at the age of 50. He just can't wrap his head around it. In his mind, you are put on this Earth to work, that is what defines you, and that you should work until you drop dead. We are just wired differently, I guess.
Old Sol, thank you for the laugh (albeit at your expense), the literal picture I get is hilarious. Thank you again.
My children are 28,12,2 so I really can't say. I do have a friend with a 36 year old son who is already going "bald" though.
Well, with hair you look at mom and dad. Mom had a picture of Dad's family at a reunion. Five brothers, none with a bit of hair except around their neck. Oddly, their dad hadn't had and extreme like with them. Mom had a picture of Dad about my sons age too, and he'd already gotten very thin patches on the frcont. My son's other grandfather is in his 80's and has a full head of silver hair. Somehow I think it may be something 'gifted' down from mom.
My son just keeps his hair short and its not so noticable.
Of course, anyone with a desire for long hair with the shrinking hair supply can look like Willey Nelson.
I wonder if daughters of men who's hair thins away early have the very fine hair I do. My hair IS thick, its just that its so extra baby fine you can't tell how much.
Parenthood scares the hell out of me. I am middle-aged from Generation X and never got married. I have many relatives and friends who did (and got divorced or had parenthood nightmares). Parenthood seems to have the potential of zapping all sense of logic and appreciation (in some cases). I have witnessed parental pain and burnout many, many times. Why would one rapidly sign up for something like that?
Maybe one of these days I'll do it when I grow up (LOL).
Our post industrial, globally competitive, non agrarian society makes being a parent a fool's errand for most people. The ROI ain't there unless you "win the child lottery" so to speak.
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