Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Amortizing my mortgage over 20 years instead of the standard 25 or 30 and making weekly, instead of monthly payments. As a result, we had our mortgage paid off in 13 years.
You are so right! I see kids now and wonder what will they become when they grow up. Such a crapshoot.
I was shocked to find out yesterday that what I thought was a quiet, pretty, mild school mate lost one of her sons to gang violence. I always thought that maybe he had died from some disease or in an accident. No, her kids turned out to be little gang bangers. Very shocking. This was a girl from the country - church going etc. Maybe a stereotype, but just something I would never expect from that family.
Why do you fault HER 100% and not the neighborhood or other influences?
I so envy you who have said you did not want children and did not have them.
Back when I was young and very ignorant about things....... I had my first after 9+ months of marriage and second came almost 2 yrs later. I honestly did not have a clue what to do. I knew how to take care of them after a lesson here and there. My husband told me if I quit my full time job he would leave me. So thinking I'd need to get a job if he left, I took the threat seriously. I would have been happier if I had been a SAHM.
But had I been more aware of what was coming in the future, I never would have had them. Both in their 50s, both made serious mistakes in their lives, both do not wish for a relationship with me.
Biggest mistake..... I should never have married the man I married. Divorce after 21+ years.
reneeh63[/b];48959769]Why do you fault HER 100% and not the neighborhood or other influences?
I so agree with this. So often when the kids goes "bad" the first thing that happens is they blame the mother. What a crock that is. The kid has two parents. Dads oftentimes should share the blame for the kid going wrong. But as I've seen in another thread, it doesn't have to be either parent's fault. It can be just the kid him/herself.
Finally getting past what my crazy family of origin thought of me, and my high school guidance counselor who said I wasn't college material, and went to college in my 30s (ignoring my now ex-husband who also thought I wouldn't shine), coming out with a National Science Foundation fellowship (PAID to learn! - who'da thunk it?), Provost's graduating senior award ($$!), Women's Studies graduating senior award, and a fist full more that I earned while there. :P to all the naysayers - all of whom are no longer in my life (another good decision). Though the field turned out not to be right for me, I sure told myself something about me!
Shame on everyone who ignores the quiet kids lost in the shuffle of a large, crazy family.
Last edited by crusinsusan; 07-25-2017 at 02:37 PM..
Biggest mistake..... I should never have married the man I married. Divorce after 21+ years.
I can identify with that. My first wife left me for another after 25 years. The marriage was a huge mistake. I came to realize that she really did me a favor and I should have sent her a thank you card!
Our move to FL to be near our son, DIL and grandkids before DH retires has been one of our best decisions.
This is my last week of watching them for the summer before they got to England for three weeks. When they get back, it's off to school for both of them, full days. We moved here when our grandson was 3 months old and five years have gone by in literally the blink of a eye! We are both so grateful we didn't miss this time with them.
The decision to move was one of our better ones, the details fell into place serendipitously, more than with any planning on our part.
Last edited by jean_ji; 07-25-2017 at 03:44 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
...almost missed it...
