U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 08-07-2017, 09:35 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,845 posts, read 17,754,973 times
Reputation: 27896

Advertisements

One thing that I've never understood is why people want to make often substantial life changes going into retirement or old age when they've lived certain ways for many years.

If you've lived somewhere for twenty or thirty years, you probably don't hate it or you would have done something about it before then. If you truly hated and gutted it out for the majority of your life, for whatever reason, that's on your fault.

I've lived in six different states since 2010, from metro Boston to rural southwest Virginia, to affluent suburban communities in Iowa and Indiana, and have traveled pretty extensively. I consider myself quite fortunate to have lived in a number of places with a number of different lifestyles. Over the years, I've basically figured out pretty well what I like and do not like.

1) Could not live in Boston permanently. Took expensive and congested. Fun place to visit, but would never want to live in a metro that size.

2) Places like Indy may be a bit too large. Congestion, getting around, is much better than Boston, but still a hassle compared to smaller metros. I may consider an Indy, Charlotte, or Nashville size metro, but it is not my first option. I loved all the suburban creature comforts and wouldn't mind going back if I could avoid a lot of the rush hour congestion.

3) Small towns and rural areas do not have enough economic vitality, are poor, have a poor dating scene, shopping, things to do, etc., for me to be happy. I moved back to TN from IN last year. We have nowhere near the level of amenities that I was used to in Indiana. If you go shopping here, selection is terrible. Some items are far more expensive than in mainstream USA - auto insurance increased by 50% and groceries are far more expensive than in Indiana. If I lose my well-paying job in this area, it's likely I'd have to move to make anywhere close to what I currently do. If you have a sophisticated medical need, it may not be able to be addressed here. We're nearly two hours from any other metros of consequence. There are a lot of drawbacks.

When I moved back to TN last year, I thought I'd be happier. While it is nice to be around family and long-term friends and to have a more stable job, the bottom line is that I simply don't like living in such a small, isolated area. I may stay another couple of years in this area, but I'm not going to gut it out here much beyond that.

I would never live in a super major city or a small town/rural area. I've experienced both and I'm self-aware enough to know what I want and it's in between those extremes - think mid-sized metros like Knoxville, TN, Greenville, SC, Grand Rapids, MI, etc. Those places can provide 80%-90% of the benefits of a larger metro like Indy with a fraction of the hassle.

I've seen lots of posts on the TN boards from people who have little knowledge or familiarity with Tennessee, who are wanting to move to some backwater rural area in the state (these areas have high crime, lots of drug abuse/domestic issues, aren't very welcoming to outsiders, etc.), thinking small town TN is like Mayberry, a Pigeon Forge promo brochure, or Hee-Haw. They're often from the usual urban area suspects - NYC, Boston, CA, etc. These people are jerking themselves out of a lifestyle they've presumably become comfortable with, plopping themselves into a completely different culture and lifestyle. Many of these moves end in abject failure.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-07-2017, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Idaho
4,682 posts, read 4,519,097 times
Reputation: 9213
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
One thing that I've never understood is why people want to make often substantial life changes going into retirement or old age when they've lived certain ways for many years.

If you've lived somewhere for twenty or thirty years, you probably don't hate it or you would have done something about it before then. If you truly hated and gutted it out for the majority of your life, for whatever reason, that's on your fault...
Not so difficult to understand for me. Take my case. I've lived the whole of my 66 years within 50 miles of where I was born. And like you, I have traveled extensively. Like knowledge..."the more you know, the more you realize you don't know". The more I travel and experience new ecosystems, societies, and cultures...the more I realize that there is an exciting world out there and I want to visit and learn about them and the people who live in them.

I don't "hate" where I live. Sure, there are things I don't really like, such as the frequent triple digit temperatures in the depth of the summer or how people drive too fast down my residential street. I've remained here due to my career. It was a good one, an exciting one, (national space program); and a well compensated one. Where else could someone be paid for doing something they would gladly do for free?

But it's over now and I need to relocate to a less expensive area that will serve as my new base in exploring this exciting world in which we live. It's called, 'adventure'. Some of us are adventurous, some of us not so much. Nothing wrong with either. We are all different and have different reasons for doing what we elect. That's one of the things that make this world so exciting . . . and I want to get out there and experience these differences. What I learn can only make me a better person; and hopefully, I can contribute to society and make it better, in whatever way the opportunities present themselves.

It's really simple. What has kept me here, (family and employment), are no longer an anchor. Time to 'get out there' to explore, experience, and learn.
__________________


Moderator posts will always be Red and can only be discussed via Direct Message.
C-D Home page, TOS (Terms of Service), How to Search, FAQ's, Posting Guide
Moderator of Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Guns and Hunting, and Weather



Last edited by volosong; 08-07-2017 at 10:40 AM..
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-07-2017, 10:40 AM
 
14,301 posts, read 24,082,231 times
Reputation: 20158
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post
I spent more than 2 weeks vacationing in Delaware this year and spent most of my time in Kent county taking farm photos and photos at Bombay Hook. What's the issue with Delaware chicken farms? The best thing about vacationing in Delaware is its size. Although, the traffic in the Rehoboth area is awful in season. Stayed clear of that on this May visit.

We spent a week in Delaware in 2012 and I must admit that it was added to our retirement list. We really liked the area, especially Kent Co. around Dover and Harrington. The area was a good mix of rural and urban.

Are you looking to move there?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-07-2017, 11:02 AM
 
141 posts, read 55,823 times
Reputation: 222
Quote:
Originally Posted by retired58 View Post
Thinking of moving to Delaware from NJ as I am retired over a year. Still trying to figure out the Pros and Cons . Some of the Pros is lower property taxes car insurance no sales tax. Some of the Cons healthcare High transfer tax places to go out to eat(Italian food) and check you are not to close to chicken farms. Every state has it's pro and cons .So is this a bad move?
Moved from MD to DE near the beach about 2.5 years ago. Couldn't get out of Montgomery CO MD fast enough. Love it here except for the traffic and lack of planning in Sussex County to handle the growth. We are about 3 hrs drive from our son in MD. Unfortunately he doesn't visit us and we have to visit him if we want to see him. A lot of people from NJ here.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-07-2017, 11:07 AM
 
14,301 posts, read 24,082,231 times
Reputation: 20158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
One thing that I've never understood is why people want to make often substantial life changes going into retirement or old age when they've lived certain ways for many years.

If you've lived somewhere for twenty or thirty years, you probably don't hate it or you would have done something about it before then. If you truly hated and gutted it out for the majority of your life, for whatever reason, that's on your fault.

When I was 40, we were on one of those long road trips of eight hours or so. As we barrelled down the highway, we started on brainstorming on retirement locations. By the time we were done, we had a list of about twenty locations. All of them were places we worked in or visited in the prior twenty years.

NONE of those locations made the top three or four list when we retired.

As we have gotten older, our priorities have changed. We need to be closer to medical care. We need to be in a community where you can easily meet and make friends. We needed to consider taxes in the future.

I liked to work in Chicago. However, I cannot see myself navigating the Dan Ryan Expressway at age 70 or dealing with the constant congestion.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-07-2017, 11:15 AM
 
29,946 posts, read 34,988,163 times
Reputation: 11833
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoriNJ View Post
We, too, are looking closely at DE, for all the reasons you mention. Especially the lower property taxes! (Hey, I'm from NJ. Say no more.) One thing that puts my husband (especially) off regarding DE is the fact that the vast majority of real estate ads are for homes with an HOA. And HOA is a deal-breaker for him. But I'm sure it's possible to find a home that is not in an HOA.

Even if we do move to DE, we would still consider spending winters elsewhere. The older we get, the more we hate winter. I won't go into a rant here, but dear heavens, we hate it. So there's that.

We'll keep thinking and reading good threads like this one, as I am not close to retirement age yet. My sis is moving to SC, so we'll have the opportunity to visit "down South" and see what life is like there.
Delaware would have been a natural retirement destination for us if it wasn't for winter.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-07-2017, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
32,001 posts, read 20,169,090 times
Reputation: 46232
Of COURSE we want to make substantial lifestyle changes in retirement!!!

We don't hate where we live, but it is inconvenient to travelling, we are in the middle of the ocean.

Why didn't we leave? Kids in school and DH's job that is allowing him to retire at 51.

We have a high cost of living, and would like to free up some of that money for just having fun.
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-07-2017, 11:58 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,845 posts, read 17,754,973 times
Reputation: 27896
Quote:
Originally Posted by volosong View Post
Not so difficult to understand for me. Take my case. I've lived the whole of my 66 years within 50 miles of where I was born. And like you, I have traveled extensively. Like knowledge..."the more you know, the more you realize you don't know". The more I travel and experience new ecosystems, societies, and cultures...the more I realize that there is an exciting world out there and I want to visit and learn about them and the people who live in them.

I don't "hate" where I live. Sure, there are things I don't really like, such as the frequent triple digit temperatures in the depth of the summer or how people drive too fast down my residential street. I've remained here due to my career. It was a good one, an exciting one, (national space program); and a well compensated one. Where else could someone be paid for doing something they would gladly do for free?

But it's over now and I need to relocate to a less expensive area that will serve as my new base in exploring this exciting world in which we live. It's called, 'adventure'. Some of us are adventurous, some of us not so much. Nothing wrong with either. We are all different and have different reasons for doing what we elect. That's one of the things that make this world so exciting . . . and I want to get out there and experience these differences. What I learn can only make me a better person; and hopefully, I can contribute to society and make it better, in whatever way the opportunities present themselves.

It's really simple. What has kept me here, (family and employment), are no longer an anchor. Time to 'get out there' to explore, experience, and learn.
Most of us don't have jobs that we'd gladly do for free. I don't dislike my job, but I wouldn't be here for free. There are a handful of occupations that are based in such expensive cities that aren't really done elsewhere. If someone is one of those occupations, they may not be able to move. For most of us, it's a reasonable option.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jlawrence01 View Post
When I was 40, we were on one of those long road trips of eight hours or so. As we barrelled down the highway, we started on brainstorming on retirement locations. By the time we were done, we had a list of about twenty locations. All of them were places we worked in or visited in the prior twenty years.

NONE of those locations made the top three or four list when we retired.

As we have gotten older, our priorities have changed. We need to be closer to medical care. We need to be in a community where you can easily meet and make friends. We needed to consider taxes in the future.

I liked to work in Chicago. However, I cannot see myself navigating the Dan Ryan Expressway at age 70 or dealing with the constant congestion.
Yep, priorities change. A lot of people from "the city" want to retire somewhere "out in the country," but fail to consider a lot of things. There are plenty of communities here in rural southwest Virginia where a family physician may be an hour away. There might only be a Food City and Walmart around for over an hour. While the mountain views are pretty, living in such a place may not be very reasonable overall, and is definitely going to be a shock for people coming from mainstream America.

Some people only want to live in the biggest and most prestigious of cities, like Chicago. Others would never set foot in such a big city and are fine miles from anything. Most people want something in between.

I just find it bizarre that some people could get to a relatively old age without much understanding of where they want to live, what lifestyles suit them and communities that would fit the need, etc. If you've done something for many, many years, it's probably what you like (or you at least didn't actively dislike it) or you wouldn't have tolerated it for so long anyway.

Last edited by Serious Conversation; 08-07-2017 at 12:07 PM..
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-07-2017, 04:07 PM
 
29,946 posts, read 34,988,163 times
Reputation: 11833
Egads relatively old age he said!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-07-2017, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Straddling two worlds
2,595 posts, read 830,456 times
Reputation: 1806
Before my husband died leaving me with a 3 year old son, we were headed back east, which is where we both grew up, and that is where I am headed once I retire, hopefully at the end of the year. As a widow with no living family and no money except for my paycheck, moving 3000 miles across the country with a toddler was not an option. I tried to make it happen the summer between middle school and high school, but the crash happened so the move didn't. When my son came back from a wedding in New England recently, he said he finally understood what I had been talking about all these years. People do the best they can with what they have to work with, but I have been homesick for a long time and I can't wait to go home.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top