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Old 08-07-2017, 07:05 PM
 
79 posts, read 47,507 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyJuly View Post
I like your attitude!
I am also younger than the OP and I have been divorced for 30 years. I never found anyone who I would want to marry. About 11 years ago, I took a company relocation to an area where I knew no one. I did not make the effort to make friends beyond work. I retired in June 2016, so now I have very little interaction with people and no work friends to socialize with save for an occasional birthday celebration. I am not attracted to elderly looking men; and not looking to take care of anyone. I am stuckj in the past---My idea of an attractive man is a virile guy in their mid 30s or 40s; whom I could not attract given my current looks and weight. Yes I still worry about my weight.

One thing I do is to go on pretty exotic overseas trips with travel groups catering to Seniors or Singles. I find there are always energetic women 55-75 traveling "alone". I've have made two nice friendships this way. There is absolutely no stigma to travel as a single. Please don't stop yourself from travel because you have no one to go with. Some women with husbands do travel together, and by the end of the trips I have taken I have not felt the need to be married to enjoy travel; or share a room with a room mate.

I am enrolled to take courses offered by my Community College. Many CCs have reduced tuition for those over 60 and offer a multitude of interesting topics.

I have also tried meet-up groups and did make some connections in a Theater group (attending local plays) and in groups focusing on movies and dinner.

I have felt that my life is not really meaningful anymore too. I just have to work hard at helping myself make things interesting. Often my motivation lags so its my own fault if I feel bored.
Yes, men in their 30s and 40s do seem to be the most attractive. Can't say I'm much attracted to geezers either, and I'm in my 60s.
I would love to know which travel groups you've gone with. I think that may be a possibility for me. None of my friends have the money to travel far or aren't in great health or are too tied up with boyfriends. I think a group of older singles (hate the word "senior") would be a good way to travel.
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Old 08-08-2017, 05:36 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
10,312 posts, read 4,881,597 times
Reputation: 21725
Quote:
Originally Posted by johngolf View Post
I took care of an ill wife and that is something I will never do again. I am 75 and I will not hookup with a woman near my age as I fear health issues. Her a burden to me or me a burden to her. I do not wish that on anyone.

I stay busy playing golf and socializing with my fellow golfers who are between 65 and 80. I have a young, single mother who I "help out". She satisfies my needs for female companionship and my sexual needs. Quite well I might add..LOL

If a younger, healthy woman came along (say 40 to 60) I would consider a closer boy friend/girl friend type relationship but never living together nor marriage. I am not looking for such but if it happens fine. I am quite satisfied with my life.
Unfortunately John that "younger, healthy woman" may come along and bam she is diagnosed with a serious disease a few years into your relationship. While you say you never want to take care of an ill wife (or girlfriend) again, reading your posts throughout the last two years I think you would. You seem like a very loving, giving person. On the other side of the coin, wouldn't you want her to do the same for you? Is your current much younger girlfriend going to take care of you if you got sick?


However, I do understand where you are coming from; my late husband was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2007 and we made many unsuccessful trips to Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa. The last year was hard but his last 8 days at Hospice were the worst 8 days of my life. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. He died in August of 2010 - I was widowed at 55 and eight months later diagnosed with breast cancer. This week will be 6 years and I'm supposedly "cured" but I hesitate to enter a relationship for similar reasons: I don't want to watch a man I love die and I certainly don't want him to watch me die IF the cancer comes back.


So here we are, alone, because we fear what might happen. Maybe our wounds are just too fresh? It's kind of sad when you think about it.
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Old 08-08-2017, 06:57 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,680 posts, read 3,253,088 times
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Chiluver1228: "So here we are, alone, because we fear what might happen. Maybe our wounds are just too fresh? It's kind of sad when you think about it."

Wow, that is exactly how I have lived my life for many years. "What if" ....... fill in the blank...... mine was "if a man hurt me like my ex-husband did .... my father, my son."

I never wanted to take a chance on that happening as I didn't think I would survive. It gets very comfortable if you maintain that level of "protection."
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Old 08-08-2017, 07:09 AM
 
659 posts, read 325,511 times
Reputation: 1974
Quote:
Originally Posted by mycatz View Post
Yes, men in their 30s and 40s do seem to be the most attractive. Can't say I'm much attracted to geezers either, and I'm in my 60s.
I would love to know which travel groups you've gone with. I think that may be a possibility for me. None of my friends have the money to travel far or aren't in great health or are too tied up with boyfriends. I think a group of older singles (hate the word "senior") would be a good way to travel.

Mycatz: Older singles groups I have traveled with:

Overseas Adventure Travel www.oattravel.com my favorite for exotic trips, no single supplement
Singles Travel International www.singlestravelintl.com not a dating service, more women than men low or no single supp
Gutsy Women Travel www.gutsywomentravel many trips are all women, no single supp

Also check Grand Circle Travel (affiliated with OAT)
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Old 08-08-2017, 07:15 AM
 
Location: Orlando
2,002 posts, read 2,642,528 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyJuly View Post
Mycatz: Older singles groups I have traveled with:

Overseas Adventure Travel www.oattravel.com my favorite for exotic trips, no single supplement
Singles Travel International www.singlestravelintl.com not a dating service, more women than men low or no single supp
Gutsy Women Travel www.gutsywomentravel many trips are all women, no single supp

Also check Grand Circle Travel (affiliated with OAT)
I would add Road Scholar to this list. https://www.roadscholar.org/

I've traveled with them as a single and it's very comfortable.
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Old 08-08-2017, 12:24 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,766 posts, read 7,047,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
all these comments about men not doing anything around the house - does that include what would be considered "man" chores? You know like yard and car stuff? If you women are also doing that, then I would say - no go. But even if he hires that type of stuff out - it is still a win. To me anyway.

Other than veggie gardening, I do not want to have anything to do with a lawn mower unless it is an absolute emergency and all the lawn mower people in town have ridden off into the sunset. As for vehicle maintenance, sure I learned how to change a tire on a 5-ton in the military, but that does not mean I want to do it now.

My roommate does all those things so I don't mind getting the groceries and cleaning up. I hope he notices what I do and doesn't tell people I don't do anything just because I am never pushing a lawn mower.
My husband does the car stuff, and we pay someone to take care of the outside stuff (we're both happy to be able to do that. My husband also deals with tradespeople who do any work on or in our house. While I do the cooking (I always claim my husband broke all his fingers and lost his way around the kitchen when we got married-he was a creative cook before then), he's never been critical or picky about what I serve him-I think it took him 10 yrs to tell me he wasn't crazy about chicken he had to cut off the bones, probably after he'd had it about 650,000 times in tnose 10 yrs! Now we've gotten into the habit of me doing the food prep and cooking and he does the dishes afterwards. I can't complain about that. And anytime I'd rather go out or get takeout, he's happy to do that (maybe that's a commentary on my cooking?).

He's also helpful many times when I'm cleaning, and he'll fold the laundry when it's finished. While he does tend to leave things around, he will pick them up when I ask-sometimes grousing, but it's not serious and he still does it.

Guess I have no complaints.
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Old 08-08-2017, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
2,297 posts, read 3,343,915 times
Reputation: 4829
Interesting Thread.......I will admit I have not read but approx 50% of the posts, how ever it appears to me that we all have such a variety of "past histories," that what " might be good for the goose, most likely would not be good for the gander!"
I am 85, been widowed over 15 yrs, was married 51 yrs, am educated, am financially secure, not wealthy, but live comfortably, do not believe in carring any debt, and am considered to be "set-in-my-ways!".....I also worked in the Industrial Engeering field for just short of 40 yrs and travelled extensively associated with my job, which I really enjoyed.
I have been retired almost 24 years.
I am not "a City Dweller" and have always lived "out in the country", l am a definite animal lover, but am still an ardent Hunter, will continue to have a house dog till I die, and love my firearms!
Do I get lonely on occasion..........sure I do........do I let it get me down in the dumps and feel sorry for my self?........Hell No......, What I can't change in my life, I accept and go on!!!!!
My reason for stating the above personal traits and beliefs is to illustrate that "I absolutely believe" that one has to be "totally honest with oneself" and know what you will not be willing to change!!!

Therefore, what are my chances of finding a companion that would accept me "as-I-am"..........maybe 1 in 500?....who knows..........I have better things to do than "to chase a solution that has no chance to be successsful!"
I am not saying that I am correct in my beliefs and/or my "way of life"...........I do "know me", and I don't chase rainbows!!!!!

Last edited by Montana Griz; 08-08-2017 at 05:30 PM..
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Old 08-08-2017, 06:52 PM
 
5,429 posts, read 3,455,723 times
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1 in 500? I would say the chances of ANYONE finding love and a compatible partner in a pool of 500 people is far less than 1 in 500. I would say more like 1 out of 100,000 people or many more. I don't think love and compatibility is readily or easily found.....especially the older one becomes.

Just my opinion.
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Old 08-08-2017, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
2,297 posts, read 3,343,915 times
Reputation: 4829
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
1 in 500? I would say the chances of ANYONE finding love and a compatible partner in a pool of 500 people is far less than 1 in 500. I would say more like 1 out of 100,000 people or many more. I don't think love and compatibility is readily or easily found.....especially the older one becomes.

Just my opinion.
I take responsibility for not making it clear that the 500 people would be: within approx 10 yrs in age as the "seeker"; would be of the opposite sex; would also be of the same "mind set", that is, being amenable to a possible companion type of relationship, and of course........being of "sound-mind and not have a criminal history"
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Old 08-08-2017, 08:17 PM
 
79 posts, read 47,507 times
Reputation: 358
Thank you for the info, BabyJuly, will check them out.
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