U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-08-2017, 12:44 PM
 
Location: SoCal
13,237 posts, read 6,340,776 times
Reputation: 9854

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
And staying can be very hard on the people that you push to do stuff for you that allows you to "live on your own". We all have to know our limitations and hanging on to a multi-level house when you don't have at least a bedroom and bathroom on your living level is the sign of someone not planning ahead.

I often hear of retired folks intentionally buying 2 story homes because going up and down stairs every day will keep them in shape! Guess they can't imagine any kind of accident or later illness that might burst their bubble - more reasonable to have a workout plan to stay in shape and not use your home.
My SIL bought a house from a handicapped guy. I don't believe the original house has a bedroom downstairs nor a restroom. In the U.K., they do outfit older people's home for mobility.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-08-2017, 02:18 PM
 
7,936 posts, read 5,045,305 times
Reputation: 13596
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vision67 View Post
She refuses to help herself by consuming savings?

What are savings for? If she buys a new place then croaks 1 month later, her kids will inherit that place.

Humans are irrational.
Rationality is subjective. For some people, their nest-egg is an inherent and indelible part of themselves. If grandma were to spend $100K to improve her living conditions, grandma’s personal sense-of-self would be diminished by $100K. The point is less about leaving money for heirs, or parsimony in one’s old age, or general obduracy and refusal to accede to family wishes. Rather, the point is that for some people, to spend means to self-diminish.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-08-2017, 02:21 PM
 
12,825 posts, read 20,148,018 times
Reputation: 10910
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
My SIL bought a house from a handicapped guy. I don't believe the original house has a bedroom downstairs nor a restroom. In the U.K., they do outfit older people's home for mobility.
Great, a trail of pee going up the stairs under the stair lift ... because the person had to wait for the lift to get them to where the bathroom is.

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-08-2017, 03:03 PM
 
Location: SoCal
13,237 posts, read 6,340,776 times
Reputation: 9854
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayAreaHillbilly View Post
Great, a trail of pee going up the stairs under the stair lift ... because the person had to wait for the lift to get them to where the bathroom is.

That's what we have Depends for? Diapers for older people. Don't be too dramatized.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-08-2017, 03:05 PM
 
2,680 posts, read 1,544,220 times
Reputation: 2592
We have stair lifts here too. Good idea!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-08-2017, 03:27 PM
 
6,885 posts, read 7,286,872 times
Reputation: 9791
OP, obviously you care about your GM or you wouldn't have posted.
At this stage you all are just exploring alternatives....just know it could take a while for GM to believe that things are changing.

The three of you can just keep presenting ideas and alternatives to your GM about how to make grandma's life easier. Try subtle psychology on GM. Just know that as one person said.....that approach just takes longer. But forcing the issue will make grandma more resistant. Try to point out all the positives about whatever move she chooses....socializing with other people, activities right at the facility, cooking done for you -- you just go and eat, shuttle service to nearby amenities, etc.

As for putting a bathroom on the first floor.
1) There aren't many retro fits and universal access changes that absolutely canNOT be done to a home. Now, whether your grandmother or anyone else is willing to PAY for whatever changes may need to be done -- is another story. The harder the remodel is to do, the more it will cost.

2) One question is -- are those changes WORTH doing? Will it change the house enough to hinder a sale (although handicapped access is a selling point for some). If you spend money on those changes -- realistically -- how long would that allow GM to stay in the house anyway?

I reread your post, and as of now you haven't said she' can't be alone. So it seems GM just has a mobility issue. But you also said she uses a walker. So I take it she's a fall risk even when walking. So the stairs are not her only mobility issue. But she's still cooking and cleaning and doing all her own laundry. Taking care of her own personal needs, etc?

3) How much money DOES GM have? Enough to make changes to the house, stay for a few years, and then still move into a place if she can't be alone at that point?

How long would her money last if she (you all, for her) hired help and companions to just do what she can't do. There's nothing wrong with that. I hired a lawn service -- just because I didn't want to cut the grass. People hire professionals to do things they don't want to -- or can't do -- all the time.

IF GM can afford it -- and at the point your assistance is too draining on the three of you.....then you could also hire someone to do the things YOU and your mom and aunt are doing for GM.

If she has a good amount of money -- how concerned do you really even need to be -- about her spending money on the house so she can stay.....even IF she may not get all that money back should she eventually sell or have to move.

In one scenario she's spending money on a move or on an ALF, in the other she's spending money on the house and services, but she gets to stay where SHE wants to be....in her own home.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-08-2017, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,618 posts, read 9,687,274 times
Reputation: 10980
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
My friend in the U.K. does this for a living, outfitting home with stairs for seniors. No need to move. Why can't we do that here in USA.

My parents lived in a two story until my dad died. They installed a chair lift and it was a lifesaver for both of them. Worked great for getting ANYTHING up and down stairs.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-08-2017, 03:44 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,618 posts, read 9,687,274 times
Reputation: 10980
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayAreaHillbilly View Post
Great, a trail of pee going up the stairs under the stair lift ... because the person had to wait for the lift to get them to where the bathroom is.


????? My parents had four bathrooms. Two upstairs and two downstairs. Overkill maybe but no pee trails under the chair! lol
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-08-2017, 10:04 PM
 
4,751 posts, read 4,032,774 times
Reputation: 9961
Without knowing how much money she has, it is ridiculous to waste time looking at real estate. If she insists she needs sell first, then she needs list her house and get it sold.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-08-2017, 11:40 PM
 
825 posts, read 565,308 times
Reputation: 2603
She's already staying with the aunt "almost permanently." Your aunt is about to be unemployed and on shaky ground financially. Why not have your aunt stay with her mother permanently, and contribute something to the rent or mortgage from her retirement check?

Your grandmother could then sell her old house and have an even bigger nest egg.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top