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Old 08-13-2017, 05:33 AM
 
4,343 posts, read 6,052,492 times
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Is this dirty old man cute? Then he can get away with it.
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Old 08-13-2017, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Surf City, NC
364 posts, read 552,591 times
Reputation: 946
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi View Post
Thank you! You are right; life is too short to be serious ... & stern & unpleasant. Ick! The thing is; you have nothing to lose by accepting a compliment graciously & that works with people, in general, of any age.

I remember being at a bar a long time ago & walking past a group of guys (maybe late 20's-mid 30's) when one of them said "Hey; youve got awesome ... lips!" I mean; it was kind of random & all his buddies cracked up but I just answered as if it were a simple compliment; I smiled back & said "Thank You" ...

Abiut half an hour later when I was leaving, he ran up to me & said "You know what; I am so sorry! You didn't deserve that. I said it because I thought all pretty girls were stuck up ... but then when you were so nice ... it made me feel like an a**!"

I was surprised & it made me think: Even if the attention is "negative"; I don't think you can make it worse by being gracious. In fact, if you respond with rudeness, you might just be taking the bait.

And if it's not negative attention then you don't risk hurting someone's feelings.



Kind of funny; I realized that while you are looking forward the age when this can start; I'm not looking forward to reaching the age when it will end!
NO. NO. NO. Being nice is what gets women into trouble. Women are taught to smile and be polite at all costs. We put up with things so as not to make a scene or offend someone's feelings. That''s how we end up abused or dead.
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Old 08-13-2017, 08:48 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,648,620 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johanna25 View Post
NO. NO. NO. Being nice is what gets women into trouble. Women are taught to smile and be polite at all costs. We put up with things so as not to make a scene or offend someone's feelings. That''s how we end up abused or dead.
No one should remain silent when someone is making them uncomfortable but too often women allow this to happen because we are not taught to speak up. If I know the men and where they are coming from regarding flirting or teasing I have no problem. But if any man, especially one I don't know, makes a comment I believe is inappropriate, I will speak up.

I think women often go along with this type of thing even if they are offended is because they don't want to be accused of being bad sports.
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Old 08-13-2017, 10:26 AM
 
Location: Cochise County, AZ
1,316 posts, read 832,470 times
Reputation: 2864
My uncle thought he was cute when he used the line, "Blow in my ear, and I'll follow you anywhere". He said this to almost every waitress and even used this line on my cousins and myself once we reached our teens.

This was not cute nor acceptable behavior!
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Old 08-14-2017, 09:47 AM
 
Location: 3.5 sq mile island ant nest next to Canada
3,021 posts, read 5,018,374 times
Reputation: 2140
Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
It has nothing to do with retirement it even happened AT WORK! And it's more psychology or relationships since apparently well known axioms make people totally crazed now.

I can't even follow this story.

Who were the two people who came in? A man and a woman or two men?

Who was the 30 something? The counter of what? A bank?

This story can't be followed but it doesn't matter.

Ok so the old MAN said "If you can't be good be careful" to a woman....and the YOUNGER WOMAN [? at the counter] made the comment about "name it after me"???

Or was she old too? Or was she a he?

WTH.

This is an OLD joke/axiom and NEVER meant to be a sexual insult .....and a WOMAN was the one who made the "racy sexualized" comment. CORRECT? AND she was saying it WOMAN TO WOMAN. Let alone that her response is also well known.

So HOW Is this a DIRTY OLD MAN THING?


You seem (to me anyway) to get confused quite easily. It comes off as trying too hard to be that way.

On another note, I'm glad I live where I do with the people who live here. I wouldn't dare speak around some of you.
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Old 08-16-2017, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,648,620 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
It has nothing to do with retirement it even happened AT WORK! And it's more psychology or relationships since apparently well known axioms make people totally crazed now.

I can't even follow this story.

Who were the two people who came in? A man and a woman or two men?

Who was the 30 something? The counter of what? A bank?

This story can't be followed but it doesn't matter.

Ok so the old MAN said "If you can't be good be careful" to a woman....and the YOUNGER WOMAN [? at the counter] made the comment about "name it after me"???

Or was she old too? Or was she a he?

WTH.

This is an OLD joke/axiom and NEVER meant to be a sexual insult .....and a WOMAN was the one who made the "racy sexualized" comment. CORRECT? AND she was saying it WOMAN TO WOMAN. Let alone that her response is also well known.

So HOW Is this a DIRTY OLD MAN THING?


The "be careful" part doesn't necessarily have to be sexual. It could also mean don't get pulled over, arrested, drunk, or whatever.

But in 2017 EVERYONE Is looking to be indignant and butthurt. And they excel at getting the story wrong, anyway.

When anyone says anything stupid to me, I just completely ignore it. It's not rocket science. You don't HAVE TO engage with people outside of the transaction discussion about you're doing.I do it all the time. Baggers at the store asking me questions about my food? I just stare at the monitor and ignore them.

Also QUITE hypocritical that all these modern women are basically totally without any "sexual hangups" anyway - naked selfies, glorifying sex workers, every issue of Cosmo cover with stupid crap about orgasms....blah blah blah... INCLUDING LIberal rags like Salon sticking up for pedophiles while meanwhile, some innocent old guy is SO OUTRAGEOUS for saying "...be careful".

Of course we're living in a time where morons think it's perfect NORMAL to remove statues of our former Presidents and erase our history so what do we expect.
I gave up on trying to follow the story. I just answered the question without using the example as a reference.
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Old 08-16-2017, 04:07 PM
 
86 posts, read 56,708 times
Reputation: 408
Quote:
Originally Posted by jean_ji View Post
I worked in healthcare and interacted with my share of "cute, flirty, old men". I learned to smile at their flirting and double entendres, otherwise they kept going until they got the response they so desperately needed. I'm sure they all thought they were sweet and flattering. Unfortunately it got old because there are quite a few men who do this. They think they are original and not like other boring, old men, their flirting sets them apart and above. If they could only see themselves as others do, but a lifetime of delusions prevents that.

The worst offenders were the ones who did it with their wives in tow. Some wives were embarrassed (not for themselves), some were mortified, some showed disgust and others grinned and bared it. How sad for these women to have to grow old with a serial flirter who respects no one, least of all himself.
I too worked in healthcare for 30+ years and most of my older patients were men as I worked in a Veteran's hospital. I can't tell you how many times older men flirted, used double entendres or were outright creepy. It got old fast. I am sure some of them thought they were flattering but honestly they were not. To be honest I found them overly familiar and I am sure some of them thought they were cute but I never once found them sweet at all.

My 89 yo father in law, now deceased was one of the worst offenders on this point. He thought he could get away with it because he was sure that women saw him as some kind of Don Juan when in reality he was rude, offensive and crude.

To be fair, not all the elderly men were crude, but most of the ones who flirted thought they could get away with it and were looking for attention. And I can't begin to mention the ones who tried to "hug" me who were in truth, trying to cop a feel.

So my answer is never, no matter what your age, never. And if you do, be aware that the woman tolerating it thinks you are a lecherous old man and can't wait until you are gone.
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