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Old 09-04-2017, 11:46 AM
 
4,508 posts, read 2,135,813 times
Reputation: 9533

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Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
Please don't let your cat be an excuse for something...in the bigger picture, you need to be healthier to take care of her for longer! Are there no kids around like middle-school age who could run and fetch things for you and care for the cat (even when you're home) for awhile who would work for peanuts? Maybe even just an hour a day would be enough to do the bare minimum...of garbage, litter box, putting things away or getting out things you anticipate needing for that day or the next? Obviously appointments are something else..uber is starting to get more popular, even in smaller cities. Or maybe someone you know could recommend someone who could ferry you around for a few dollars? You may need to get creative...we ALL may need to!
No...No...No...No...No...No...


Stop it! Stop trying to shame someone into having help when they clearly don't. This thread is about aging WITHOUT SUPPORT! Without Support isn't that hard to understand.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ansible90 View Post
Well said.

When I hear someone say they can't take care of themselves because of an animal, I wonder how their values have become so skewed. So the cat will be upset for a few days. She will get over it.

If you need surgery, talk to the doctor and the hospital ahead of time. They can help you with arranging home care after surgery. There are people who specialize in finding help for people who need it. They know where to find the volunteers who are happy to help.
And here's another one.


Sorry, you are DEAD wrong.


My dog is my world. She cannot care for herself. There is absolutely nobody to care for her if I can't. And NO, there isn't a doctor or hospital on Planet Earth who will help you find someone to care for your beloved pet. Volunteers? Surely, you jest! Good God...where do people get these ridiculous ideas?


Here's a thought: You keep your kids. I'll keep my dog. And stop being critical of people who love their pets more than most people love their kids.
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Old 09-04-2017, 12:40 PM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,238 posts, read 1,375,231 times
Reputation: 6500
Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
It's true that modern medicine and pharmacology have all but eliminated the ways people used to die (suddenly and quickly) from heart attack and stroke. So now we die later, more slowly, and more painfully. Additionally, we come to find out that drugs like statins are actually associated with the development of dementia. So it's a find line between treatment that enhances life and treatment that prolongs life, but it's something I've very conscious of in deciding what I will and won't pursue in terms of medical attention. Overall, I think it's a great for-profit business and we've ALL -- young and old -- been brainwashed in utilizing it to the max, to our own detriment. I think we could scale it back fifty years and life would be better for everyone, but JMO.
This took me by surprise. What I found in a quick search is some people may have some memory loss or confusion as a side effect of taking statins. But if you don't have that particular side effect, the statin will actually hold off Alzheimers disease. I searched on the phrase: "statins are actually associated with the development of dementia"
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Old 09-04-2017, 01:11 PM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,238 posts, read 1,375,231 times
Reputation: 6500
Quote:
Originally Posted by In2itive_1 View Post
I guess I shouldn't have brought this up. This reminds of that old game "telephone", where something is said into one's ear, then after it being passed along, something gets lost in the translation.

I am really in pretty good shape and getting around (just not climbing mountains, etc). I am doing what I can to care for my knee. Until and if it becomes more serious or necessary for surgery, it's on the back burner.

What bothers me, as said:

* The assumption by Dr. that anyone could just "afford boarding".
* The surgical costs not being fully covered, or home health care.
* Relying upon one (maybe two) people to be hauled around and for care afterward, which can become stressful.
* Being able to count on someone who would properly care for my cat, enter apartment and close up, etc. (There is not even guest parking available for others, either).
* Concerns about cat for the time away, since she only knows me and is fearful.

There are no "school-age kids" to help - I'm in an apartment building - or others than mentioned to be counted upon to shuffle me around or help out. My values are not "skewed" just because the needs of my "unusual" cat are of concern to me and she is not an excuse to avoid surgery. Even if I did not have a pet, I have concerns about relying upon others, afterward. I have to feel secure in a situation and also, not worry about additional costs.

What I was trying to express initially relates to my finances and not having much support, which is what I thought this topic was about, but may have partly confused it with the "living on a shoestring" thread.
I get it. You are not ready for surgery yet. But as someone looking from the outside in, it seems you are setting up barriers for yourself as to why you won't be able to handle it when the time does come. You might want to explore some of the ideas people here have given you... do it now, get the information before you need it. Knowing how you will handle these things ahead of time can relieve a lot of the stress. You will have enough stress just dealing with the surgery.

What bothers me, as said:

* The assumption by Dr. that anyone could just "afford boarding". --- Well, most people probably could afford boarding. If you can't, then you might call one of your local pet rescue organizations (see petfinder.com) and ask if they could foster your cat for a few days, or if they have someone who lives near you who could come in to feed the cat.

* The surgical costs not being fully covered, or home health care. --- The doctor or hospital could check if you are qualified for Medicaid to cover the portion Medicare won't cover.

* Relying upon one (maybe two) people to be hauled around and for care afterward, which can become stressful. --- Stressful for whom? Sometimes we do have to rely on others. You mentioned family members who helped you in the past. Some people don't have family or close friends to help them.

* Being able to count on someone who would properly care for my cat, enter apartment and close up, etc. (There is not even guest parking available for others, either). --- Check with the pet rescue orgs. It will likely be a younger person who can park somewhere nearby and walk to your home.

* Concerns about cat for the time away, since she only knows me and is fearful. --- The cat will be fine. So what if she hides under the bed when someone comes in to put down food and water, and scoop the litter. She is not being harmed by this.
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Old 09-04-2017, 05:30 PM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,238 posts, read 1,375,231 times
Reputation: 6500
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyNameIsBellaMia View Post
No...No...No...No...No...No...


Stop it! Stop trying to shame someone into having help when they clearly don't. This thread is about aging WITHOUT SUPPORT! Without Support isn't that hard to understand.



And here's another one.


Sorry, you are DEAD wrong.


My dog is my world. She cannot care for herself. There is absolutely nobody to care for her if I can't. And NO, there isn't a doctor or hospital on Planet Earth who will help you find someone to care for your beloved pet. Volunteers? Surely, you jest! Good God...where do people get these ridiculous ideas?


Here's a thought: You keep your kids. I'll keep my dog. And stop being critical of people who love their pets more than most people love their kids.
I and others are not shaming her. We are attempting to offer possible solutions. And to point out that sometimes people get so wrapped up in their own situations that they cannot see the obvious solutions.

As to this thread being about elders without support, the person we have been trying to help has a sister who helped in the past. Not an elder orphan.

BTW, I am a dog lover, but I don't believe I am the only person on this earth who can take care of my dog. There are many others who are also loving and capable. If need be (if I can't care for him), I will find someone to take him, be it for a few days or forever.

I think you mixed up a few things. A doctor or hospital can help you find home care for after surgery. One of the gazillion pet rescue orgs in this country can help with the pets.
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Old 09-04-2017, 09:18 PM
 
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
7,360 posts, read 4,203,960 times
Reputation: 18506
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyNameIsBellaMia View Post
My dog is my world. She cannot care for herself. There is absolutely nobody to care for her if I can't.
Then you have failed your dog.

Time to face reality. You (and every other pet owner out there) are one car crash or one heart attack away from being emergently hospitalized. And if you're unconscious in the ICU and no one else knows about your dog, your beloved dog is going to die before you get out of the hospital. (If you even leave the hospital alive. That's not a given.)

Single pet owners need some backup plans in order to insure our pets' safety if we can't be there for them. (I'm speaking from personal experience here. Thank God the one time to date that I was unexpectedly hospitalized I had previously given a trusted neighbor my house key, so I I could call them and ask them to feed my birds.)

Last edited by Aredhel; 09-04-2017 at 09:40 PM..
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Old 09-05-2017, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,877 posts, read 4,889,275 times
Reputation: 19774
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyNameIsBellaMia View Post
No...No...No...No...No...No...


Stop it! Stop trying to shame someone into having help when they clearly don't. This thread is about aging WITHOUT SUPPORT! Without Support isn't that hard to understand.



And here's another one.


Sorry, you are DEAD wrong.


My dog is my world. She cannot care for herself. There is absolutely nobody to care for her if I can't. And NO, there isn't a doctor or hospital on Planet Earth who will help you find someone to care for your beloved pet. Volunteers? Surely, you jest! Good God...where do people get these ridiculous ideas?
Here's a thought: You keep your kids. I'll keep my dog. And stop being critical of people who love their pets more than most people love their kids.
(Bolding in second to last paragraph is mine)

There are a lot of folks who will care for a neighbor's pet if the neighbor is in hospital or out of town, and then they reciprocate. We do it for our neighbors all the time and vice versa. We also take in their mail, water their houseplants, and watch out for any problems or security issues. I get my "ridiculous ideas" from examples in real life. Like the volunteers in Houston rescuing pets. Not everyone is selfish, or self centered. Lots of people help each other out. In our neighborhood, we even have an organized pet care co-op. The co-op has a webpage where members find other members willing to exchange free pet care while they travel, etc.
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Old 09-05-2017, 09:22 AM
 
11,230 posts, read 8,616,492 times
Reputation: 28347
We live in a world where people are able to find caretakers and sitters for their human children. It is downright illogical that people believe they can't find temporary care for their pets.
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Old 09-05-2017, 10:12 AM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,929 posts, read 999,780 times
Reputation: 7030
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
We live in a world where people are able to find caretakers and sitters for their human children. It is downright illogical that people believe they can't find temporary care for their pets.


If this is true, its a good thing.


I think some of you are missing the point. When you have been truly on your own, for whatever reason, it does not feel so easy. If my vet boarded my two dogs for a few days, they would be in a cage and I would have a $400-500 bill within a few days. They would want a credit card up front.


I don't have neighbors I would be comfortable asking to come to my house to feed my dogs. I know I could pay someone and I need to find someone in case of an emergency but there's no guaranteeing they would be available when I need them...... and thinking about being away and having someone coming in and out of my house is nerve wracking at best. No one comes to my house.


So we have what feels like a bunch of people who do have resources telling us we are crazy, and we are sitting here thinking "you don't have a clue what real life as an "orphan" is like"


Most, or at least many, of us will figure it out when we have to, Some of us will wait too long. All of us will worry about how we will manage unless we have passed that point. Maybe they are the lucky ones.
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Old 09-05-2017, 10:41 AM
 
4,508 posts, read 2,135,813 times
Reputation: 9533
newcomputer, if I had a neighbor like you, I would no longer be an "elder orphan", nor would you. It would be my honor to care for your doggies, if need be.


Six years ago, I boarded my dog with my vet for 2 weeks. By the time I picked her up, she was skin and bones and her hair was falling out. She hadn't eaten enough to keep a flea alive, so to speak. She's 14 now, and being boarded would likely kill her.


I was recently hospitalized just overnight. My elderly neighbor took my girl out in the morning for her morning constitution. The neighbor walks with a cane; what she did for me and my dog meant the world to me. She didn't have to do it and I would never ask or expect her to do it several times a day for a prolonged time. She didn't try to feed her; we knew I'd be home in a matter of hours. No way would she have eaten with me not around. We truly are joined at the hip, and as she's aged, she's become very needy and clingy.


This is a dog I picked up off the street 14 years ago after she'd been hit by a car and left for dead. I cook for her and she sleeps with me. And to think there's a fool out there (with birds, no less) who thinks I've failed her. lololol
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Old 09-05-2017, 11:16 AM
 
11,230 posts, read 8,616,492 times
Reputation: 28347
Quote:
Originally Posted by newcomputer View Post
If this is true, its a good thing.


I think some of you are missing the point. When you have been truly on your own, for whatever reason, it does not feel so easy. If my vet boarded my two dogs for a few days, they would be in a cage and I would have a $400-500 bill within a few days. They would want a credit card up front.


I don't have neighbors I would be comfortable asking to come to my house to feed my dogs. I know I could pay someone and I need to find someone in case of an emergency but there's no guaranteeing they would be available when I need them...... and thinking about being away and having someone coming in and out of my house is nerve wracking at best. No one comes to my house.


So we have what feels like a bunch of people who do have resources telling us we are crazy, and we are sitting here thinking "you don't have a clue what real life as an "orphan" is like"


Most, or at least many, of us will figure it out when we have to, Some of us will wait too long. All of us will worry about how we will manage unless we have passed that point. Maybe they are the lucky ones.
Google pet sitting in your city. There are services that charge under $50 a day. You just have to be willing to trust someone. Or you choose to live with deteriorating health. If you get too sick, then what happens to your pet?
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