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Old 09-11-2017, 11:50 AM
 
Location: Midvale, Idaho
1,542 posts, read 2,386,799 times
Reputation: 1961

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
Sounds like they have decided to follow the guidelines more strictly than they did a year or so ago when I joined. At that time many people were posting about their relationships with their kids or family and how they were in frequent communication. If someone pointed out this was against the rules and brought up the guidelines at that time, chances were they would get negative comments. The emphasis was not on elders alone as it was supposed to be.

I think Carol just allowed it to get out of hand and wasn't controlling the situation. I emailed her telling her my concerns about the group deviating from what its original intentions and although she agreed with me she was just content to let it be.

If it's really about elder orphans now, I am all for it.
I did not see the actual post where some one must have mentioned a family member coming or calling or?? Must have been removed or I just missed it. Then there was a post about the guidelines and the intention of the group being for elder orphans that have no family close by or estranged from children or other family so basically an orphan. Requesting people to drop out if they did not fit within these guidelines.

I agree it is a different dynamics to being totally alone. It is hard to even imagine and I know hubby hung on for as long as he could because he knew he was all I had left in this world. I was with him almost half my life time he has seem my family deterioration and what I went through , him included, to try to help and stay connected. I am not complaining. If I were more outgoing I might have more people around me. Fact is I do not mind being alone but it is scary the times you kind of need help and there is no one to turn too. I had a bad fall in the bathroom a few months ago. I was sick with bad food or flu. Passed out and hit my head on the floor in the middle of the night. Fortunately an online friend was online and she stayed on with me for over an hour to be sure I was going to be ok. It was a relief because it was the first time I was really scared being alone. See photo. Mt head is still sore where I hit my bone around my eye. And NO I did not tell my doctor because if you do some thing like this it goes on your medical record that goes to medicare and at some point I am afraid they try to come in and make you not live alone. A 45 mile drive to the hospital . How would I do that with my head throbbing? On top of being so tummy sick. Just rode it out. I am fine.
Attached Thumbnails
Elder Orphans: Aging without Support-4-6-16-face-plant.jpg  

Last edited by shades_of_idaho; 09-11-2017 at 12:25 PM..
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Old 09-11-2017, 05:18 PM
 
Location: NY>FL>VA>NC>IN
2,524 posts, read 998,341 times
Reputation: 5345
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Suffocating myself with a plastic bag doesn't sound particularly fun to me. I don't know what legal drug I have access to that would quickly and easily result in a fatal overdose. I live in a townhouse and wouldn't I be putting my neighbors at risk too with the carbon monoxide poisoning?

I'm not back pedaling. I just want better options. What else you got?
I have given much thought to this very thing. No way I want to end up in a veg state.

A handgun of significant caliber to the BASE OF THE SKULL, into the foramen magnum shall destroy the brainstem; instant death and no error. Just reach around, hold muzzle steady with one hand, against bowed head, and dominant hand on grip/trigger.
The foramen magnum is the opening where the spinal cord connects to the brainstem; no bone to obstruct the bullet.

This is how executions are done.
Why mess around with drugs and the potential for failure. No way.
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Old 09-12-2017, 10:08 AM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,214 posts, read 1,354,565 times
Reputation: 6378
Quote:
Originally Posted by shades_of_idaho View Post
I did not see the actual post where some one must have mentioned a family member coming or calling or?? Must have been removed or I just missed it. Then there was a post about the guidelines and the intention of the group being for elder orphans that have no family close by or estranged from children or other family so basically an orphan. Requesting people to drop out if they did not fit within these guidelines.

I agree it is a different dynamics to being totally alone. It is hard to even imagine and I know hubby hung on for as long as he could because he knew he was all I had left in this world. I was with him almost half my life time he has seem my family deterioration and what I went through , him included, to try to help and stay connected. I am not complaining. If I were more outgoing I might have more people around me. Fact is I do not mind being alone but it is scary the times you kind of need help and there is no one to turn too. I had a bad fall in the bathroom a few months ago. I was sick with bad food or flu. Passed out and hit my head on the floor in the middle of the night. Fortunately an online friend was online and she stayed on with me for over an hour to be sure I was going to be ok. It was a relief because it was the first time I was really scared being alone. See photo. Mt head is still sore where I hit my bone around my eye. And NO I did not tell my doctor because if you do some thing like this it goes on your medical record that goes to medicare and at some point I am afraid they try to come in and make you not live alone. A 45 mile drive to the hospital . How would I do that with my head throbbing? On top of being so tummy sick. Just rode it out. I am fine.
Being alone is no excuse for being foolish. You were lucky this time. You should have called an ambulance to take you to the hospital... that is what you do when an accident happens. You don't drive yourself even if the hospital is only 10 minutes away.

Medicare is not going to change your living arrangements or force you to move. But someone at the hospital may help you to get help when you need it. It is NOT shameful to need help sometimes, and to be smart enough to accept that help.
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Old 09-12-2017, 05:42 PM
 
11,153 posts, read 8,563,629 times
Reputation: 28151
Quote:
Originally Posted by shades_of_idaho View Post
I did not see the actual post where some one must have mentioned a family member coming or calling or?? Must have been removed or I just missed it. Then there was a post about the guidelines and the intention of the group being for elder orphans that have no family close by or estranged from children or other family so basically an orphan. Requesting people to drop out if they did not fit within these guidelines.

I agree it is a different dynamics to being totally alone. It is hard to even imagine and I know hubby hung on for as long as he could because he knew he was all I had left in this world. I was with him almost half my life time he has seem my family deterioration and what I went through , him included, to try to help and stay connected. I am not complaining. If I were more outgoing I might have more people around me. Fact is I do not mind being alone but it is scary the times you kind of need help and there is no one to turn too. I had a bad fall in the bathroom a few months ago. I was sick with bad food or flu. Passed out and hit my head on the floor in the middle of the night. Fortunately an online friend was online and she stayed on with me for over an hour to be sure I was going to be ok. It was a relief because it was the first time I was really scared being alone. See photo. Mt head is still sore where I hit my bone around my eye. And NO I did not tell my doctor because if you do some thing like this it goes on your medical record that goes to medicare and at some point I am afraid they try to come in and make you not live alone. A 45 mile drive to the hospital . How would I do that with my head throbbing? On top of being so tummy sick. Just rode it out. I am fine.
Being alone in older age means making new decisions. Have you thought about moving somewhere closer to medical facilities or with readily available transportation like Uber? A different location may give you access to more help.
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Old 09-13-2017, 12:51 AM
 
Location: Midvale, Idaho
1,542 posts, read 2,386,799 times
Reputation: 1961
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
Being alone in older age means making new decisions. Have you thought about moving somewhere closer to medical facilities or with readily available transportation like Uber? A different location may give you access to more help.
Being my usual dumb stubborn self here. I LOVE my house and where I am living. I am happy here and the plan was to age in place here for both of us. I first would have a hard time selling my house for what we have into it. Maybe just break even. It really is a nice comfortable house and perfect for me. My house is a fairly new at 9 years old and in good repair with some important extras built into it structural for extra snow load thick and well insulated walls good heating. And paid for.

I hate living where there are a lot of people and the area closest to a hospital would be too expensive for me to move to unless I bought a total dump in a non desirable neighbor hood. I very possibly could be buying some one else nightmare. We flipped houses for 20 years I have seen some pretty wild and crazy things hidden from view when some one is trying to sell a house. I am on a limited income. Hubby and I discussed at length over and over what I should do when he was gone. We both came to the conclusion this is the place I need to be to make me happy. If I am not happy I might as well be dead anyway.

At some point I might have to have some one come live with me. I will face that when the time comes. It makes me very nervous when the doctor gives me a long questionnaire to fill in about lifestyle. I know the answers he would be looking for so just checked the right answers weather they were true for me or not. Just shake my head yes or no and smile and get my prescriptions and get out of there. He says medicare requires this form to be filled out. I feel it is invasive and no ones business buy my own. I know he is my doctor and there to help I just do not want my privacy invaded like that. So this is my story and I am sticking to it.
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Old 09-19-2017, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Texas
74 posts, read 39,501 times
Reputation: 127
Default Taking fewer risks when alone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ansible90 View Post
Being alone is no excuse for being foolish. You were lucky this time. You should have called an ambulance to take you to the hospital... that is what you do when an accident happens. You don't drive yourself even if the hospital is only 10 minutes away.

Medicare is not going to change your living arrangements or force you to move. But someone at the hospital may help you to get help when you need it. It is NOT shameful to need help sometimes, and to be smart enough to accept that help.
This brings up an important point - the main concern here is that the elderly orphan does not have available support to be provided by immediate family members. People in these circumstances need to be conservative in their decision-making IMHO. Obviously by not being "foolish" but by reducing risk overall in their life so as to reduce the probability of needing assistance/support from others.

Some examples of ways to reduce risks could include:

-clean up diet, concentrate on maintaining fitness
-get regular health assessments, blood tests, exams
-stop alcohol consumption
-minimize travel by car especially at night, drive carefully and defensively
-provide instructions to trusted friend/emergency contact to be used if you are incapacitated
-maintain an emergency fund
-strengthen home safety and security, stay away from high-crime areas and situations
-eliminate potentially dangerous sports such as rock climbing, skiing, swimming solo, road biking, motorcycling

As a person with no family members within 1500 miles, I find it helpful to visualize what would happen after I have a health crisis or serious accident. Do I want to burden a friend with the consequences of my irresponsible/risky behavior?
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Old 09-19-2017, 11:01 AM
 
7,809 posts, read 4,400,783 times
Reputation: 11609
"As a person with no family members within 1500 miles, Ifind it helpful to visualize what would happen after I have a health crisis orserious accident. Do I want to burden afriend with the consequences of my irresponsible/risky behavior?"


Of course it's no guarantee. I think we like to think that by doing x, y, z (or not doing x, w, z) or by buying product a, b, c , we will live forever. Or at least live a healthy life and then suddenly drop dead of old age. I'm afraid I don't believe we have that much control over this (those who sell us the products would have us believe we do because profits). We mere mortals feel less terrified if/when we believe we actually exert control over our fates, but in fact...
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Old 09-22-2017, 02:57 PM
 
Location: South Florida
195 posts, read 106,657 times
Reputation: 1158
Quote:
Originally Posted by OverItAll View Post
I have given much thought to this very thing. No way I want to end up in a veg state.

A handgun of significant caliber to the BASE OF THE SKULL, into the foramen magnum shall destroy the brainstem; instant death and no error. Just reach around, hold muzzle steady with one hand, against bowed head, and dominant hand on grip/trigger.
The foramen magnum is the opening where the spinal cord connects to the brainstem; no bone to obstruct the bullet.

This is how executions are done.
Why mess around with drugs and the potential for failure. No way.
Well, if you should ever decide to do that you ought to go to the hospital and lie down on a gurney with a note pinned to your shirt that says "Organ Donor" before you do so that at least your parts don't go to waste.
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Old 09-22-2017, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,756,785 times
Reputation: 32309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Birdman03 View Post
This brings up an important point - the main concern here is that the elderly orphan does not have available support to be provided by immediate family members. People in these circumstances need to be conservative in their decision-making IMHO. Obviously by not being "foolish" but by reducing risk overall in their life so as to reduce the probability of needing assistance/support from others.

Some examples of ways to reduce risks could include:

-clean up diet, concentrate on maintaining fitness
-get regular health assessments, blood tests, exams
-stop alcohol consumption
-minimize travel by car especially at night, drive carefully and defensively
-provide instructions to trusted friend/emergency contact to be used if you are incapacitated
-maintain an emergency fund
-strengthen home safety and security, stay away from high-crime areas and situations
-eliminate potentially dangerous sports such as rock climbing, skiing, swimming solo, road biking, motorcycling

As a person with no family members within 1500 miles, I find it helpful to visualize what would happen after I have a health crisis or serious accident. Do I want to burden a friend with the consequences of my irresponsible/risky behavior?

I had an immediate and strong negative reaction to your list of suggestions, especially the two items I bolded. (But first, as a disclaimer, I do agree with certain things on the list. I endorse eating a healthy diet and engaging in defensive driving, for example).


I find it a real shame that people would adopt such a fearful attitude towards normal living. Stop alcohol consumption completely? What an absurdity! There is nothing wrong with one drink per day; in fact consumption at that level has health benefits.


Minimize travel by car? Another absurdity, unless one cannot see or react normally. Part of the enjoyment of normal living is the ability to go places and do things. It is preposterous to live life in fear of driving; driving is the key to avoiding deadly isolation.
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Old 09-22-2017, 03:26 PM
 
7,809 posts, read 4,400,783 times
Reputation: 11609
I DO minimize driving lately simply because of all the crazy, distracted, cell-phone addicted drivers with whom we now share the road. I even avoid narrow, winding, two-way back country roads for that same reason. It's a shame, but it's an increased risk, and I don't want to end up a vegetable in a nursing home because some idiot plowed into me. No one is saying to stop driving, but I don't drive any more than I have to, and I'm also very alert and drive defensively. Driving only when necessarily is also a good way to save on gas, and most of us elder orphans need to economize.

I believe we have more control over that than, say, health outcomes (which, again, I believe are largely genetic rather than based on actions we do or don't take).

As for drinking, they say it's actually good for you in moderation, so... CHEERS.
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