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Old 11-10-2017, 05:56 PM
 
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Why is dying alone sad? I'll probably die alone. It doesn't bother me one bit.
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Old 11-10-2017, 06:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by charlygal View Post

Why is dying alone sad? I'll probably die alone. It doesn't bother me one bit.
I agree.

I don't think dying alone is necessarily sad.

Everyone dies alone, in the sense that you are the one doing the dying.

Last edited by matisse12; 11-10-2017 at 07:26 PM..
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Old 11-10-2017, 11:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
I agree.

I don't think dying alone is necessarily sad.

Everyone dies alone, in the sense that you are the one doing the dying.
I agree. I think people do project that "dying alone" equals "no one cares if you die" (which might well be true) and take it in a personal sense.

Hence, the many obituaries that emphasize "They were surrounded by family..." to the extent that, when a caretaker at an animal shelter kindly wrote to me to tell me that a favorite of mine had been euthanized, she told me, "He was surrounded by his run mate and me." Sweet, but not needed.
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Old 11-11-2017, 07:21 AM
 
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Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
Why is dying alone sad? I'll probably die alone. It doesn't bother me one bit.
We ALL die alone; as the old adage goes, "No one can go there with you."
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Old 11-19-2017, 06:25 AM
 
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I once worked with a woman who was married had a son, daughter - was married for over 30 years. Her husband died one night when he went to sleep and never woke up. Her son developed a drug addiction and went out to Vegas never to return (she still hasn't heard from him) and her daughter married - moved up to north New York. Her husband doesn't have time for her to come down to visit her mother.
Here is a woman who had a family - kids, husband - went to church, family portraits...and now she lives alone in a one bedroom apartment. She is now a recluse and rarely I see her blinds opened.
It appears we can do what society tells us: marry and have kids - you won't be alone when you are old...ugh, no - you can and you will. She isn't old but in her late 60's. I know she has lung issues and no one to take care of her. It's sad..that's the way life can be.
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Old 11-20-2017, 02:44 AM
 
Location: A State of Mind
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Originally Posted by DixieLand09 View Post
I once worked with a woman who was married had a son, daughter - was married for over 30 years. Her husband died one night when he went to sleep and never woke up. Her son developed a drug addiction and went out to Vegas never to return (she still hasn't heard from him) and her daughter married - moved up to north New York. Her husband doesn't have time for her to come down to visit her mother.
Here is a woman who had a family - kids, husband - went to church, family portraits...and now she lives alone in a one bedroom apartment. She is now a recluse and rarely I see her blinds opened.
It appears we can do what society tells us: marry and have kids - you won't be alone when you are old...ugh, no - you can and you will. She isn't old but in her late 60's. I know she has lung issues and no one to take care of her. It's sad..that's the way life can be.
That's very sad and it's disturbing that this is how later years can be. As said, there is no guarantee how things will go for a person. I know I feel anxiety about it all, with just a couple of relatives, such insecurity and uncertainty.

I hate to say, but for many, this must be an instance in which $$ could at least ease things, just since one could afford some alterations to one's existence, being able to afford to live in comfort amongst others with similar situations and getting the care needed, not worrying about everything. I wonder how many are able to live in a part of a home securely with family members while they live out their years, providing being with those who are caring and supportive.
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Old 11-20-2017, 12:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by In2itive_1 View Post
I hate to say, but for many, this must be an instance in which $$ could at least ease things, just since one could afford some alterations to one's existence, being able to afford to live in comfort amongst others with similar situations and getting the care needed, not worrying about everything. ...

It's certainly something this orphan has thought about when thinking about money. I have never had anyone behind (or alongside) me and as I've gotten to know older and old people, have thought about what I will do should I reach such an age. A lot depends on what kind of help I need- will it be stopping driving because of eyesight? Or losing sight? I already am quite content to pay people to do house and car things, and will turn over yard work if and when need be (moving to a smaller house with a small yard out of choice next year).

I worry about having enough money to buy into a CCRC if I am overall frail and could benefit from a living situation like that. I mean, you can only plan for so much but I do firmly believe that having more money is likely to ease whatever needs/issues come with aging.
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Old 11-20-2017, 01:14 PM
 
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Actually, when you think about it, having money is the whole problem. In another time, when people were poorer, it would be unheard of for any family member to be expected to make it alone in the world. Some relative would take him in to live with his own immediate family; not to do so would be societal suicide. The more wealth we as a society have, the more isolated its members become.
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Old 11-20-2017, 01:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post

I worry about having enough money to buy into a CCRC if I am overall frail and could benefit from a living situation like that.
On the other hand, if one cannot afford to live in a CCRC or another type of assisted living complex - all expensive - then one can actually remove oneself from the worry. Because one knows there is nothing to be done about it. I am not worrying about it because I know it is likely to be too expensive for me. (although I have not even touched my Retirement IRA yet)

I've seen having home care workers (home healthcare workers) come in to one's house or apartment to help with others, and they have worked out pretty well.
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Old 11-20-2017, 03:02 PM
 
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You're fine if you're either rich (buy all the care you need and want) or poor (the government will buy it for you). It's the middle-class that has to worry, as usual. Unless you choose to be a fatalist and NOT worry! No one lives forever anyway.
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