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Old 08-19-2017, 04:20 PM
 
258 posts, read 478,321 times
Reputation: 565

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PAhippo View Post
apologies. to me, 'orphan' pertains to loss of parents.
As someone who lost both of my parents 10 months apart when I was a kid I Can't S-t-a-n-d the deliberate misuse of the word orphan.

The definition of the word is someone whose parents died during their childhood.

These days everyone uses the word-----people whose parents divorced when they were kids, adults whose parents died during their adulthood and now older adults who live alone, either because they have no extended family or because they are far from family.

I've often wondered why the use of the word------and I've come to the conclusion that people who coin it to characterize a particular situation are in search of pity and/or sympathy. . .and think that their particular burden in life is akin to being an orphan.

It's not. And I wish people would just stop. Grown up people can't be orphans. I'm no longer an orphan because I'm an adult nor do I ever want to think of myself that way again.
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Old 08-19-2017, 04:22 PM
 
258 posts, read 478,321 times
Reputation: 565
People with no spouse and no children are Singles.

That being said, I'm s-o thankful for the thoughtful comments here. Elders living alone is going to become a huge issue in the years to come. I'm in my 60's and not yet retired. I've got a hub whose still working and a 20 something kid who's living at home after finishing grad school.

I think the "alone-ness" facing elders is a huge societal question. I love the comments discussing single elders living in proximity. I live in a town outside of Chicago and have been what sociologist Jane Jacobs calls a "watcher" when it comes to the older people on my street. Over the years I've "watched" and helped various people living alone in their homes but as others have stated, sooner or later living alone in a house/apartment isn't an option. Like others here have stated, I'll just have to deal with that when it comes. . .and plan accordingly when I can.

Last edited by bungalowdweller; 08-19-2017 at 04:42 PM..
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Old 08-19-2017, 04:42 PM
 
5,432 posts, read 3,461,420 times
Reputation: 13714
Quote:
Originally Posted by bungalowdweller View Post

As someone who lost both of my parents 10 months apart when I was a kid I Can't S-t-a-n-d the deliberate misuse of the word orphan.

The definition of the word is someone whose parents died during their childhood.

These days everyone uses the word-----people whose parents divorced when they were kids, adults whose parents died during their adulthood and now older adults who live alone, either because they have no extended family or because they are far from family.

I've often wondered why the use of the word------and I've come to the conclusion that people who coin it to characterize a particular situation are in search of pity and/or sympathy. . .and think that their particular burden in life is akin to being an orphan.

It's not. And I wish people would just stop. Grown up people can't be orphans. I'm no longer an orphan because I'm an adult nor do I ever want to think of myself that way again.
The word orphan has multiple meanings – not just a child deprived of parents, and not just a child whose parents have died.

From thefreedictionary.com

Lacking support, supervision, or care.
_____________________________

From dictionary.com

a person or thing that is without protective affiliation, sponsorship, etc..

not authorized, supported, or funded; not part of a system; isolated; abandoned

Informal. to deprive of commercial sponsorship, an employer, etc.:
______________________________

From en.wikipedia.org

An orphan is one who has lost both parents. (not just a child)
______________________________

From vocabulary.com

An orphan is someone who has lost both parents.

anyone whose parents have both died is an orphan. (not just a child)
______________________________

Last edited by matisse12; 08-19-2017 at 05:19 PM..
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Old 08-19-2017, 04:44 PM
 
7,816 posts, read 4,407,202 times
Reputation: 11630
Also in the sense that it's said (and, in my own experience, is true) that the parent becomes the child and the child, the parent; ergo, people without children are "orphans" in the true sense of the word. That said, people should really try not to be overly sensitive about things for purely subjective reasons that don't apply to most. The term is not "offensive"...
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Old 08-19-2017, 05:03 PM
 
4,508 posts, read 2,128,747 times
Reputation: 9532
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
The above never needs to happen, for the vast majority of older people. There are $30 or $35 per month safety monitors that one wears around one's neck at all times on which the person wearing presses a button or talks into, and an ambulance or Emergency Medical Technicians (EMT) are sent immediately in response.

One company/brand which provides this is called Life Alert. There are also other brands. See below.

LIFE ALERT official website - I've fallen and I can't get up!

Best Medical Alert Systems of 2017
https://www.consumersadvocate.org/me...xoC2qkQAvD_BwE

Best Medical Alert Systems of 2017
https://www.inhomesafetyguide.org/me...BoCJcQQAvD_BwE

How to Choose a Medical Alert System
How to Choose a Medical Alert System - AARP

Having a medical alert worn by the older person at all times allows many to age in place and stay in their own home.

People who force their parent(s) out of their home for 'safety' concerns can use one of the above medical alert systems in a good number of cases....where possible and if conditions permit.

(knowing that it maybe wouldn't work if the person was unconscious, but some have motion detectors)
A lot of people in my senior community have those things and don't wear them. They truly are a PITA. And they cost money in the form of a monthly fee, thereby raising your "phone bill" to unacceptable amounts, imo.
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Old 08-19-2017, 05:39 PM
 
7,983 posts, read 11,677,255 times
Reputation: 10484
Quote:
Originally Posted by bungalowdweller View Post
People with no spouse and no children are Singles.

That being said, I'm s-o thankful for the thoughtful comments here. Elders living alone is going to become a huge issue in the years to come. I'm in my 60's and not yet retired. I've got a hub whose still working and a 20 something kid who's living at home after finishing grad school.

I think the "alone-ness" facing elders is a huge societal question. I love the comments discussing single elders living in proximity. I live in a town outside of Chicago and have been what sociologist Jane Jacobs calls a "watcher" when it comes to the older people on my street. Over the years I've "watched" and helped various people living alone in their homes but as others have stated, sooner or later living alone in a house/apartment isn't an option. Like others here have stated, I'll just have to deal with that when it comes. . .and plan accordingly when I can.
I can never understand why people who have never been alone, who have spouses and kids and other family think they can eve begin to understand what its like not to have any? They always chime in and the elder orphan group on fb was quickly taken over by women who had family! Talk about wanting sympathy. They were trying to prepare for the day they would be widows. And they had kids!
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Old 08-19-2017, 06:08 PM
 
8,214 posts, read 11,932,798 times
Reputation: 18064
Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
Oh I remember that. Years ago.

It got shut down because MEN were complaining about it being for women.
That's not the way I recall it at all. There was one man who asked if he could join and the women who regularly hung out in that thread (similar to the chat thread) welcomed him. Then the moderator made a change to the title of the thread that was more inclusive and for some reason all hell broke loose. Several women got upset that the thread title no longer emphasized that the thread was for and about women. I believe it was also changed to a "regular" thread from a "stickie" as well. That caused dissention as well. A different moderator subsequently closed the thread because he stated that it had drifted way off topic from its original purpose.

The closure had nothing to do with "MEN complaining about it being for women."
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Old 08-19-2017, 06:34 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 19 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,704 posts, read 3,699,851 times
Reputation: 19829
Quote:
Originally Posted by Giesela View Post
I can never understand why people who have never been alone, who have spouses and kids and other family think they can eve begin to understand what its like not to have any? They always chime in and the elder orphan group on fb was quickly taken over by women who had family! Talk about wanting sympathy. They were trying to prepare for the day they would be widows. And they had kids!
I think in general many married folks with kids don't understand what never married/no kids people go through. They can't even begin to grasp what that life is like. Also, it is not always a choice of lifestyle. Many people wanted to marry or have kids, but life circumstances didn't allow for it to happen.
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Old 08-19-2017, 06:36 PM
 
5,432 posts, read 3,461,420 times
Reputation: 13714
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I think in general many married folks with kids don't understand what never married/no kids people go through. They can't even begin to grasp what that life is like. Also, it is not always a choice of lifestyle. Many people wanted to marry or have kids, but life circumstances didn't allow for it to happen.
Many elder orphans are divorced. That includes me.

Elder orphans are not just the 'never married'. Some are divorced or their spouse died - and with no kids.
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Old 08-19-2017, 06:54 PM
 
Location: Central IL
15,253 posts, read 8,564,754 times
Reputation: 35698
Quote:
Originally Posted by BugsyPal View Post
Cannot speak for elsewhere, but here in New York City middle-aged and or seniors die all the time in their homes "alone". Often they lie there for several days until the stench prompts someone to call 911.


On my block alone in the past several years there have been about ten or so older persons who died in their homes "alone". Of the most recent was an elderly woman who must have fallen and hit her head; they found her in the bathroom days after she passed.


Then there was this sad story that one thinks posted about here at the time:


https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/18/n...y.html?mcubz=1


https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/20/o...l.html?mcubz=0


The Lonely Death of George Bell
This is very sad and I think it's something people who are alone really fear happening. I did a quick search on "check in services for seniors" and found a really cheap automated service. You pick the time of day you want to be called and when the call comes in you hit "1" to confirm. If you don't respond they (actually "it") calls another few times in the next hour and if you still don't pick up it calls the number of someone that you specify. Of course that's the key - who would you have as your person if you have no family? Certainly it could be a friend too...but maybe there are also options of calling the police to have them check on you?

Anyway - this was $10/month if you sign up for a full year of daily calls:
https://www.iamfine.com/

I'd hope there are others for maybe more expense where you could specify two or three calls a day or have other options available.
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