Elder Orphans: Aging without Support (chores, grandma, benefit, attractive)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
In my view, it is not "early" to check out when we reach the point where we cannot care for ourselves. Rather, it is exactly the right time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere
Babies, infants, toddlers, and children can't care for themselves. People of all ages throughout the lifespan, due to injury or illness, may find themselves unable to care for themselves (including Stephen Hawking). Are you suggesting that they also "check out"; are you endorsing assisted suicide and/or euthanasia for all these?
No. My comment was made in a certain context. By taking it out of that context, you are just playing word games.
Your criterion is the inability to care for oneself; that applies to more than the elderly. Unless you're just in favor of discrimination based on age.
Your criterion is the inability to care for oneself; that applies to more than the elderly. Unless you're just in favor of discrimination based on age.
Well, you continue your twisting of what I wrote. I spoke of making a decision to "check out" for oneself, and then you started in about such a decision being imposed from the outside. Not the same thing at all.
Babies, infants, toddlers, and children can't care for themselves. People of all ages throughout the lifespan, due to injury or illness, may find themselves unable to care for themselves (including Stephen Hawking). Are you suggesting that they also "check out"; are you endorsing assisted suicide and/or euthanasia for all these?
I am not the person you are addressing but when I read your post, I wanted to respond to it.
As many here know from my past postings, my sister had cerebral palsy. She was far better than a lot of people who have this condition. She could do a lot of things in her younger years. I would no sooner think or hope for her demise than my own. She was my sister. There is a bond that, for me, was unbreakable.
She did pass at 82. My nephew from another late sister kept remarking that she should not have lived that long, that she should have died much sooner. I didn't say anything to him as I chalked it up to ignorance. But when she did die (2 yrs ago), I told him how I felt about it. He hasn't spoken to me since.
And....... very close to where I am living, a father of a 10 month old baby girl killed her. She was crying and would not stop. She had heart problems, requiring a lot of medical care and surgeries. He made a dire decision and along with his jail sentence, will suffer from this memory forever.
"In my view, it is not "early" to check out when we reach the point where we cannot care for ourselves. Rather, it is exactly the right time."
"We" implies that this applies to more than just you.
"We" as individuals means each person will decide for him or herself. It is not the same as having the government step in as in mercy killing. Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 09-01-2017 at 01:43 PM..
Reason: Personal attack.
I've read of a couple of cases where working daughters took care of their elderly mothers who did not want to leave the family home which they owned. Since the elderly women could walk but had balance problems and other mobility issues, they were instructed to stay in bed all day while their daughters were at work. I assume they had a bed pan and some food and water. Of course neither mother fully obeyed these orders and both ended up falling while getting out of bed or moving around which resulted in hospitalization in at least one case. To me it is more humane to have your parent in assisted living or even a nursing home where there are people to tend to them than to leave them in a bed alone all day.
My elderly relative used to say that she would prefer to die before she would go to a nursing home. This was in her 70's and early 80's. But while living in a senior apartment in a CCRC (that was not that expensive since it was a non-profit), her 100 year old neighbor eventually went into the CCRC nursing home. After visiting the neighbor several times, my relative changed her mind. I realize there are some bad nursing homes but not all of them are terrible.
Thanks, I appreciate the info. Looks like you did well. The situation may change one day, though I am better since using supplements and doing some exercises, but here is what is troublesome:
I don't have $$ to board my cat and would otherwise need a family member to come in a couple times a day to care for her. She is not used to other people, is skittish, has special needs and I am used to her funny ways. I would be concerned the whole time. (When I was in the hospital recently overnight, my sister came in once to check on her and when returning the next day, she would not come out from under the bed and was hissing and growling...and this was only after being gone overnight).
Recovery concerns me, if I would be on crutches or what, getting around, needing to scoop the litter box, taking trash out, taking care of my needs and having to rely upon others to take me for appointments during that time. I don't believe a home-nurse is covered and as said, the entire medical costs would not be covered.
It's not the pain - been there, and am independent and capable. It's all this other stuff concerning me. (As said, having $$ could be freeing).
Please don't let your cat be an excuse for something...in the bigger picture, you need to be healthier to take care of her for longer! Are there no kids around like middle-school age who could run and fetch things for you and care for the cat (even when you're home) for awhile who would work for peanuts? Maybe even just an hour a day would be enough to do the bare minimum...of garbage, litter box, putting things away or getting out things you anticipate needing for that day or the next? Obviously appointments are something else..uber is starting to get more popular, even in smaller cities. Or maybe someone you know could recommend someone who could ferry you around for a few dollars? You may need to get creative...we ALL may need to!
I've read of a couple of cases where working daughters took care of their elderly mothers who did not want to leave the family home which they owned. Since the elderly women could walk but had balance problems and other mobility issues, they were instructed to stay in bed all day while their daughters were at work. I assume they had a bed pan and some food and water. Of course neither mother fully obeyed these orders and both ended up falling while getting out of bed or moving around which resulted in hospitalization in at least one case. To me it is more humane to have your parent in assisted living or even a nursing home where there are people to tend to them than to leave them in a bed alone all day.
My elderly relative used to say that she would prefer to die before she would go to a nursing home. This was in her 70's and early 80's. But while living in a senior apartment in a CCRC (that was not that expensive since it was a non-profit), her 100 year old neighbor eventually went into the CCRC nursing home. After visiting the neighbor several times, my relative changed her mind. I realize there are some bad nursing homes but not all of them are terrible.
Again, people assume that residents get quality, 24-hour-a-day attention in a nursing home or other facility. As short-staffed and overworked at they are, that's hardly the case. Tons of residents fall, dehydrate, develop malnutrition, die of bedsores -- all from neglect. Happens every day. And, no, you don't just leave your mother in bed on a bedpan while you go to work; that's not "providing care."
How many people actually kill themselves in this 'check out' manner and decision when they can no longer take care of themselves?
People in this Forum mention wanting to do it, but I've never heard of anyone actually doing it.
I really don't think when the time occurs, people who say they have that intention now, will actually carry it out.
What people often do is stop eating altogether (some stop water too) and they are then dead fairly quickly. This happens a lot in nursing homes. This seems much more likely than a person killing themselves in other ways. Nursing homes and staff allow it to be carried out, and do not force the people to eat.
I really don't believe the posters who say they will kill themselves. I can see some stop eating which induces death as described above.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
