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Old 08-28-2017, 08:20 PM
Location: Western MA
1,594 posts, read 1,040,499 times
Reputation: 4116


For me, no. My parents had children and I am childfree, by choice. I do know that they loved us but, I wonder if both, my mother in particular, would have made different choices, had they been born in a different time and had other options been more socially acceptable.

I do think that as a traditional, married couple, their finances were probably a little easier at the start of their marriage. But my mother really had very few options for a career once she was married, life was all about her husband's career and what was best for "the children" at any point in time. It's not a life that I envy, frankly.

Things I wish I could have that they had though: a Summer house, easy, Summer friendships. Cocktail parties. Friendships and social engagements that did not revolve around children constantly.
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Old 08-28-2017, 10:13 PM
Location: Sacramento
13,784 posts, read 23,811,113 times
Reputation: 6195
I kind of copied many aspects of my dad, and don't regret at all that I did.

He was always the dependable type, and I've been that way too. He was the major wage earner in the family, and my mom didn't have to work unless she chose to do so. She did decide to work once my sister and I were old enough to be pretty independent, and put in a relatively brief 12 year career in hospital administration. I had a different type of employment than my dad, he was in the trades as was typical of someone who went to work right out of high school (except for his two years of military service). I graduated college and had an advanced degree too, and it helped me advance pretty well in my own career.

My wife didn't have to work if she didn't really want to, and I kind of sensed she wasn't too interested in having a career. I did think we would be a two income family when we first started out, but we were only 18 and 19 when we got together so a lot of things were still unknown. She preferred to be a "traditional" mom, the type who stayed home and pretty much built her life around her kids and their activities, and making friends with their moms. It worked out very well for us, she really enjoyed not dealing with the stress, pressures and personalities of the work environment, and was willing to live within the income I made during my career.

We had a few brief periods of financial struggles, but overall everything turned out just fine.
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Old 08-28-2017, 10:22 PM
Location: Maui, Hawaii
679 posts, read 617,734 times
Reputation: 1357
Oh my No, a fate worse than slow death..... I would have had to raise Me!!! lol
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Old 08-28-2017, 10:39 PM
Location: Out there somewhere...a traveling man.
39,547 posts, read 47,744,756 times
Reputation: 110401
If you had copied your parents life , would you have been satisfied?

No way, my father committed suicide at age 35, my mother had to raise 3 kids never finished high school worked for minimum wage at a factory and was always poor. We kids worked after school to help out our mother with the bills, cooking, etc.
Fortunately I've had a better life, marriage, children, education, occupation, etal.

Last edited by wit-nit; 08-28-2017 at 10:51 PM..
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Old 10-03-2017, 02:16 PM
21 posts, read 12,016 times
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Interesting question , I would say no as me and my parents have different dreams
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Old 10-03-2017, 04:07 PM
Location: equator
3,442 posts, read 1,535,055 times
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Well, sure, it'd be nice to have the "not-reproducible" opportunities my dad had after WW2. Free university, affordable little house the GI bill helped with, new car, new baby, SAHM. Bought a modest house in the 60's for 30K that appreciated to 1.2 million. A "new" career in hot demand then.

None of us will have THOSE opportunities again. My nephews have wanted to emulate his physical therapy career, but the requirements were too stiff for them these days.

But other than those lost opportunities, NO. 5 kids? No time for individual attention to any of them? Seeing how my mom "parented", I said "No way". They were both very old-school, no personal interaction with us kids hardly at all. My dad got the idea of "Dying Broke" and gave all his money to the Red Cross, so my mom could hardly get by after he died.

Despite their wealth, NO. No kids for me, I opted for an adventurous life they couldn't understand. But I admit to envying their "easy" wealth due to circumstances at the time/era. Summer home, Cadillacs....mom who never had to work....
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Old 10-03-2017, 04:49 PM
33,046 posts, read 22,062,610 times
Reputation: 8970
Originally Posted by ChickPea77 View Post
As you are now

What I mean copied your parents life , I mean every aspect work amount of children , marriage etc

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
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Old 10-03-2017, 05:05 PM
Location: SW Florida
9,759 posts, read 7,038,572 times
Reputation: 14295
I looked to my parents as examples of how NOT to be.
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Old 10-03-2017, 07:05 PM
Location: Long Island, NY
8 posts, read 5,060 times
Reputation: 15
My parents are in their 70s and have always been very financially stable. They own multiple homes and travel extensively to Europe and around the US. They are actively involved in the social circle of their neighborhood and care tremendously what others think about them. As parents in the 70s and 80s they were self consumed and although they provided a comfortable life for us as children (2) we were definitely not the center of their universe. I enjoyed my childhood and teenage years tremendously and feel like my independence came very naturally. I very rarely looked to my parents for conversation or guidance once I was in my teen years. I definitely feel this was typical of Generation X. I think it was much easier to raise children back then, without a doubt. I am unlike them in the fact that I could care less about joining the tennis or golf club and I have really no desire to travel outside the US. Their priorities are different than mine but we are very close and talk almost daily.
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Old 10-03-2017, 07:10 PM
Location: Texas
43,560 posts, read 52,678,186 times
Reputation: 70811
Travel the world, move to new countries, be comfortably upper middle class with no concerns in retirement, kids are doctor and lawyer and everyone gets along and lives nearby, grandkids over twice a week and are sweet, know how to cook amazingly, golf, tennis, speak many languages, no major illnesses or accidents or even surgery (in 76 years), SAHM with career later, both multiple graduate degrees, etc...

Yeah. We should all be so lucky. That's frickin' charmed.
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