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Old 08-23-2017, 02:15 PM
413 posts, read 265,081 times
Reputation: 882


Originally Posted by ChickPea77 View Post
As you are now

What I mean copied your parents life , I mean every aspect work amount of children , marriage etc
No, I would have slit my wrists.
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Old 08-23-2017, 02:30 PM
Location: Central Massachusetts
4,800 posts, read 4,850,322 times
Reputation: 6379
Nope. Not a chance!!!!
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Old 08-23-2017, 02:33 PM
Location: Miraflores
786 posts, read 894,992 times
Reputation: 1531
No, would have lived till 99 with millions left in the bank.
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Old 08-23-2017, 03:11 PM
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,739 posts, read 26,780,942 times
Reputation: 20373
Sad to hear these stories. My parents are still very much in love after 56 plus years of marriage. My dad turns 80 in April. My mom is also in her late 70's. They raised 8 kids, my mom was home to take care of the family. My dad had been in the Navy, worked in Aerospace, then went into Banking. We are all still very much a solid happy family. My parents never drank, smoked, abused drugs. For most of our life they were into living well, eating right, taking care of their bodies. We did the same. We were encouraged to get the best education we could, including reading as many books as we could, learning as many things as we could. Our dad was always there to help us learn how to build or repaid just about anything. Our mom taught us to cook and bake, keep up on a garden. Both my parents were from abusive families and I guess it could have gone either way. With them they decided to end the abuse. They wanted to raise their kids different from how they were raised. We never spent much time with either my mom or dads family. As kids we did not know too much about our grandparents. I had been to both sets of grandparents home only twice my entire life. So for my parents, living in California was an escape from all that they knew. They made a point to do things differently and I think things seem to have worked out for the better. I am still close to my parents.
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Old 08-23-2017, 03:14 PM
Location: Pennsylvania
16,356 posts, read 10,346,234 times
Reputation: 28521
I wouldn't have been happy copying anyone elses' life. That's why I've lived my own.
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Old 08-23-2017, 03:23 PM
Location: Middle Tennessee
3,679 posts, read 2,227,855 times
Reputation: 5230
Nope, nope, nope. My parents did the best they knew how, but without much education, both spent most of their lives working jobs like in a packing house, motel maid, etc. We always had food on the table, but not much more than that. My mother was domineering and my father just sat there and took it. Neither had any kind of a sense of humor. My sister and I joke to this day that we must have been adopted. Not exactly Father Knows Best or Ozzie and Harriet.
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Old 08-23-2017, 03:23 PM
Location: too far from the sea
19,842 posts, read 18,867,840 times
Reputation: 33750
No. They were happy with two homes, one of which was in Florida. Not what I wanted after I saw all the commotion twice a year to go back and forth--and most of the responsibility fell to my mother. I would have liked to do just about everything else they did though--decent house, (amazing, lol) kids, nice town, good jobs, and when they retired, lots of family close by.

I think they both had happy lives. My mother not so much but that was due to emotional issues of having her father die when she was only 7 years old and it was during the Depression. She never got over it but she started coming into her own in retirement with so many fewer responsibilities. She loved her Florida home but she was the type who loved cooking and cleaning and keeping busy with the house. But that life isn't for me.
my posts as moderator will be in red. Moderator: Health&Wellness~Genealogy. The Rules--read here>>> TOS. If someone attacks you, do not reply. Hit REPORT.
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Old 08-23-2017, 03:50 PM
Location: Tucson Arizona
3,901 posts, read 1,656,975 times
Reputation: 10244
I spent much of my young adult life trying NOT to be my mother. I think I would rather eat glass shards than live the life she hated.
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Old 08-23-2017, 04:55 PM
6,213 posts, read 2,871,412 times
Reputation: 15721
Though my mother has passed,I've gained such admiration for the life she lived. I cannot emulate her life path...it was a road filled with such heartache...us kids understand only now the true hardships she endured. I pray every day that I can be a positive result of her life legacy. She was intelligent and wise.

My bio dad....no way. He has passed and while my brothers glorify him...they forget his disdain for being a father. He was a master of evasion...

Kudos to those who stopped some unhealthy parental habits. Best to change and improve...that is how to transcend into adulthood.
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Old 08-23-2017, 05:31 PM
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,744,100 times
Reputation: 32304
I have a theory that positive change is frequently incremental from generation to generation. Both my parents came from very poor backgrounds but both went to college in the late 1930's, a time when not every Tom, Dick, and Harry was going to college. Therefore I had the advantage of being raised by fairly well educated parents.

But looking back on things, I now realize that my parents were not life-long learners and the transition from dirt poor to college educated did (at least in their cases) put a limit on their level of educational and intellectual sophistication. At age 73 I am still growing intellectually. I read all the time - mostly non-fiction. That was not my parents' pattern.
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