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Old 08-24-2017, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia/South Jersey area
2,879 posts, read 1,408,873 times
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wow. I just asked this question on another forum.

Sad to me that so many people have really good friends.

Anyhoo,

I have 3. we would literally give up a kidney for each other. they have been my bff's for over 35 years. We've been through weddings, divorces, children, deaths, cancer and growing older.

they are more my sister than my best friends. now that I'm single, I say "I'll get rid of the man before I get rid of my girlies"
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Old 08-24-2017, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Arizona
5,964 posts, read 5,315,071 times
Reputation: 18021
A few friends. Many acquaintances.

Many have a different definition of "close." Many have a different definition of "friend." I never use "friend" lightly.

For many people between college and retirement is a slow period for friends. It's easier when you have more time.
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Old 08-24-2017, 11:54 AM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
27,798 posts, read 26,235,889 times
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Massachusetts winner of $758m lottery jackpot quits job - BBC News

She might have had just a couple of friends before today......but no longer, I bet......maybe 100+ will come out of the woodwork.....
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Old 08-24-2017, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,130 posts, read 9,093,524 times
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My real friends are from high school and none of the three are anywhere close by. We keep in touch via emails and occasionally visits, but they are not as frequent now that we are older.

I have made a fairly good friend here, in my new area and it may turn out to be a very good friendship longterm.
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Old 08-24-2017, 01:06 PM
 
1,586 posts, read 586,116 times
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I am blessed to have some very close friends. A couple of them are lifelong friends, one a high-school friend, one a gal who Hubby met along with her spouse way back when in the college dorm, and who caught my bouquet at our wedding 40 years ago, and special sisters I have met through church and involvement in a group for Special Needs. One special ladyfriend I met when our daughters were first graders together, and then our next set of daughters also became [and still are] very close friends.

Just within the last week, I had a female casual friend reach out in a way that I believe exemplifies true friendship: My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease at age 64 last week. At a weekly bowling event for the Special Needs, my friend motioned me to come closer and sit by her. She put her hand lightly on my knee, and said, "I heard your news. I just want to tell you I am here for any questions, my husband has had this 7 years. I've been a facilitator of a small support group that meets every Tuesday morning and it's just 20+- of us, we meet at a church and some come and then come back, and we all go out to lunch together afterwards, and I'm inviting you to come and join us."

Now, that, to me, was a true reaching-out of friendship. It just so happens that I am free at that time, and I will accept this invitation from a friend, whom I believe will become even closer in the future. And I believe my circle of friends will grow, because of this kind & caring friend. And since it is a 2-way street, I will be there for them. I do believe that when someone nudges you - you can be richer if you take the bait/nudge and say yes.
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Old 08-24-2017, 01:41 PM
 
Location: equator
3,463 posts, read 1,543,057 times
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None, really. This is why I like the condo---casual "friends" who meet in a common area, not impinging on others' private spaces, though occasionally we will get together in someone's place. It does kind of depend on your definition of "friend".


If it is "trust"---that's only my husband and sisters.


My pen-pal is a better friend than my past in-person "friends"....
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Old 08-24-2017, 02:00 PM
 
2,072 posts, read 872,086 times
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One thing that has surprised me is how people who were really good friends in the past have just cut ties. My best friend in college cut ties as we grew older. I got married and had kids (and grandkids), he never did and seemed to not want to continue even an email or phone relationship. I still have a few friends I talk to on the phone, and a few we socialize with occasionally, but no one I see and hang out with on a daily or weekly basis any more.
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Old 08-25-2017, 09:37 AM
 
Location: the Old Dominion
295 posts, read 150,089 times
Reputation: 1382
Default ...John 15:13...

I have two good friends. My friendship with Phillipe is grounded in intellectual conversation. He has another close friend (Jamie) whom I met once that is not intellectual at all. I know Phillipe keeps Jamie and me apart. I (and others who know of Jamie) have strong reason to believe that Phillipe's wife and Jamie have had an affair. Two suspect that the affair was consensual.
My other close friend is Rafael. Our friendship is based on shared experiences. Our friendship is more open to discussion and if he had another friend who was cheating with his wife I could approach him about it (always a questionable course of action).
Phillipe, Rafael and I shared the same place of employment. Phillipe does not admit to things [to himself]. Took me years to notice. His world is largely on the 'internet. He is a good friend to me, but I am the one who works at maintaining the friendship.
Rafael and I had a falling out three years ago. We have recently renewed our friendship. The credit goes to Rafeal, for he was the one to labour the better part of a year to repair the relationship. And for that I am grateful.
Both are good to me and I cherish them dearly.
The rest are acquaintances. When I retire in December, the work friends will fall into the insignificance of a vast wasteland. I have seen it.
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Old 08-25-2017, 10:14 AM
 
2,072 posts, read 872,086 times
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You may see it again. I had three good friends from work. None of them were friends with each other, and had worked in different departments I had worked in. They were people who I hung out with, had lunch with, spoke to regularly in person or on the phone, and socialized with at work and after work for more than 20 years. One I still talk to on the phone about oncer a week. The other two did a fade when I retired. They both told me they couldn't make my retirement luncheon but would take me out for lunch. One did take me out for lunch, the other never did. Neither kept up with phone calls or emails and I haven't spoken with either in many years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyLackland View Post
...
The rest are acquaintances. When I retire in December, the work friends will fall into the insignificance of a vast wasteland. I have seen it.
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Old 08-25-2017, 10:33 AM
 
231 posts, read 171,286 times
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I dont believe it is because there is anything wrong with people.thats just how it goes.Peoples lives change.

I know two women,widowed ladies who always referred to each other,as My dearest friend and took trips together.

Friends no more,since the other met a man and got married,now her dearest friend has been cast aside.

And that's the way it goes.
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