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Old 11-11-2017, 11:01 AM
 
1,093 posts, read 526,180 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayarea4 View Post
I have no regrets because I made the decision that I felt was right for me. At times I feel a bit wistful when Facebook friends brag about their children's and grandchildren's accomplishments or talk about how close they are and wonderful it is to spend time with them. But I knew from a young age that I was not cut out to be a mother and that I shouldn't try.

As for eldercare, I do worry that there won't be anyone to help if I become physically frail. But of course having kids does not guarantee this. I am hoping to find an affordable continuing care facility that offers meals, housekeeping and has higher levels of care available if needed.

What worries me most is my financial health. If I should develop dementia or some other severe condition that limits my ability to handle my affairs, who will keep the records, pay the bills, do my taxes and see that I don't get taken advantage of by caregivers? I have a niece and nephew, but though they are both nice people and well-meaning, neither has the sophistication or the money management skills to take charge. They're the types who spend it as soon as they have it.
What you see on Facebook is the sunny side.....nobody goes on there and brags about their drug addict, unemployed, felon offspring.

Having kids is a crapshoot. Of all the people I know well enough to make a judgement, Iíd say more than half have a kid thatís made the family life hell. Not good enough odds for me.

Iíve never wanted kids, which is unusual for a female, I think. Once I went around polling people about why they wanted kids. The majority of men treated it like a package deal - it goes with the territory if you want a woman. The women mainly cited things like having someone to care for you when you are old.
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Old 11-11-2017, 11:55 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,713,463 times
Reputation: 35455
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sand&Salt View Post
^^^^Exactly the same here. My own father admitted (only to me, not my sisters, who were horrified when they heard this) that he felt he should have never had children---he just wasn't cut out for it. He loved us and provided well for us but it was obvious to me he didn't relish the role. He kept busy at work and doing his own thing.....


I totally understood. Never ever wanted children myself and am so glad this is how life turned out. In this day and age, not everyone can even AFFORD to raise children.
My mother told my sisters and me she never wanted kids. She married in her late twenties which was unusual back in the forties. My dad and her family pressured her into it. She never really liked kids and didn't relate to them well. My dad on the other hand did. My two sisters had kids but when I said I didn't want them my mom supported me in my decision.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Cabound1 View Post
What you see on Facebook is the sunny side.....nobody goes on there and brags about their drug addict, unemployed, felon offspring.

Having kids is a crapshoot. Of all the people I know well enough to make a judgement, Iíd say more than half have a kid thatís made the family life hell. Not good enough odds for me.

Iíve never wanted kids, which is unusual for a female, I think. Once I went around polling people about why they wanted kids. The majority of men treated it like a package deal - it goes with the territory if you want a woman. The women mainly cited things like having someone to care for you when you are old.
I think many women were pressured into have kids just because it was the norm. But those who chose to follow a different path were always around. My role models growing up were my childfree female pediatrician and a childfree aunt.

All my friends with one exception were childfree. I think the difference between a few decades ago and now regarding women choosing to be childfree is that now they are more out in the open about it. Men have always seemed to have the option to pick and choose.
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Old 11-12-2017, 12:13 PM
 
13 posts, read 5,553 times
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I have a daughter that I have a good relationship with but I plan on retiring in another state. I’ve always been self reliant even when I was married or dating and not one to want to depend on someone else for my care or company.

Will that bite me on the behind when I really get old? Who knows? It’s worked pretty well up to now.
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Old 11-12-2017, 08:19 PM
 
13,350 posts, read 25,617,103 times
Reputation: 20624
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dude 1516 View Post
I have a daughter that I have a good relationship with but I plan on retiring in another state. Iíve always been self reliant even when I was married or dating and not one to want to depend on someone else for my care or company.

Will that bite me on the behind when I really get old? Who knows? Itís worked pretty well up to now.

I have always focused on having enough money to hire whatever help I might need. Depends on what that help is but never had anyone behind me (or alongside) and it only seems natural to do the best I can to be able to hire someone (be it someone to drive for groceries, or take care of property, or live in a CCRC of my choosing).
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