U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 08-23-2017, 07:41 PM
Location: Las Vegas
13,888 posts, read 25,323,560 times
Reputation: 26385


No kids and I am still happy with my choice.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 08-23-2017, 07:54 PM
Location: Colorado
79 posts, read 53,773 times
Reputation: 346
I am a “later in life” 62. Living without children was only partly a choice for me. I wanted them at one time, but circumstances in my life made having children seem an unwise choice. I have regretted it occasionally, but rarely. It’s just a road not taken – sometimes I wonder about other roads not taken too. There are a lot of paths to make a good life.

I don't get lonely. I have as much interaction with other people as I please, and with people I like – that has nothing to do with having family or children. I don’t see why that would change when I’m old(er). I don’t get along with my actual family, and would rather chew glass than spend my old age with them.

Having children is no guarantee that your children will take care of you – especially if you didn’t take care of them. Plenty of people have children who shouldn’t.

My income is very modest, and though I’m a saver, I’m very worried about the cost of care in my old age. It wasn't a factor in my youthful decisions, but I am grateful that I could save at all – it would have been much more difficult with children.

I agree that having a purpose is important. I have been happiest when I’ve been actively involved in and contributing to something important to me. I look forward to doing more of that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-23-2017, 09:24 PM
Location: Tucson Arizona
3,892 posts, read 1,653,380 times
Reputation: 10224
Kids don't come with a lifelong guarantee, so you can't really count on them taking care of you.

no regrets, not lonely.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-23-2017, 09:40 PM
13,319 posts, read 25,561,639 times
Reputation: 20505
No kids by choice, my feeling since very early on. Lost one great guy over it. Never a moment's regret about kids.

I have always figured that I just need to keep a close eye on finances and options and what'if's.

I'm already lonely so don't think it'll change with the years.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-23-2017, 11:29 PM
10,817 posts, read 8,063,256 times
Reputation: 17029
We have kids by choice (no grandchildren now or likely ever), maintain a loving long-distance relationship with them, no regrets.
But they're not and never have been our purpose in life, and they don't play any role in our planning for our "declining" years.

At 66 and 68, in good health, we've already been researching long term care facilities for some time. Our plans are to move into one while at least one of us still has mental acuity. The ones we're researching are one-fee-covers-all facilities, which will somewhat (not entirely, we know) alleviate financial bookkeeping for us in that our income flow will be channeled toward paying the monthly expenses. DH & I have had several family members in assisted living and skilled nursing so have a good feel for how the finances work: if just about all of your monthly income is assigned to the facilities, then there's minimal need for check writing.

The bulk of our assets will be in a trust so as to diminish the chances of someone conning us out of those funds. We've already made arrangements with a long-standing and highly reputable trust management team to handle this. Moving to a new state has messed with this plan though and will take no small amount of research and work on our part to figure out what needs doing/undoing. This is high on our priority list. Worst case is we do nothing and the trust mgt group in our previous state will work it out. Not our problem, since we'll be dead or too mentally gone to care.

We've of course made our prepaid funeral plans, or in our case, our non-funeral plans. Cremation, no service, no memorials, no obituaries.

All that said, we're keenly aware how inadequate plans can be. Even having multiple children who are caring and live close by is no guarantee of a better outcome. Through no fault of their own, many people are psychologically incapable of dealing with their parents' elderly issues. We have siblings who had the best intentions in the world but didn't have a clue what to do with their moms' health failed and whose actions were more harmful than helpful.

A factor in our recent relocation was the availability of geriatric and eldercare resources, including agencies, social workers, and other counselors.

But failing those resources, consider: in the past year, a childless cousin and a childless neighbor declined and died. In both cases, there was someone they managed to reach out to. My cousin called my brother and asked him to take care of things - which included dividing his assets between my brother and a neighbor who had been checking in on him. My neighbor notified his (former) church he was terminal and the church members provided no small amount of aid and assistance.

When push comes to shove, end of life issues are not always about a long-ago decision to have or not have children.

Thus endeth the sermon.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-23-2017, 11:52 PM
Location: Silicon Valley
18,094 posts, read 22,960,701 times
Reputation: 35240
I'd rather go into a nursing home than live with my daughter and let her take care of me

No guarantees your kids will turn out nice, whether or not it is your fault, etc.

I'm going to trust the government to take care of me, and trust that people getting paid to take care of me will be nicer to me than my daughter would be :-)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-24-2017, 08:12 AM
Location: Chicago area
14,398 posts, read 7,923,957 times
Reputation: 53511
Once in awhile I think that it would have been nice to have a family, but, for the most part I'm happy we didn't have kids. I have a bunch of kids in my life ranging from 5 into 40's with children and grand children of their own. I have frequent visits from a lot of them. Some live out of state so I only see them once in awhile. I finally got to meet one from out of state's little one. He was around 4 at the time. I was talking to his mom when I felt someone holding on to my leg. We bonded instantly and it was sad for me to see them go home. I haven't seen him in two years now. For some reason I'm a kid magnet. The neighborhood shorties were in my house most of the summer when they were young. Now they are off to college and I think I know how it feels when they leave the nest. We have a new five year old in our life and I have my eye on a precious six year old across the street. I'm hoping to get the two of them together soon. So the cycle begins again. I guess I have the best of both worlds, including the expense. Those kids are deep in my pocket, but at least I don't have to pay for college.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-24-2017, 09:07 AM
Location: Sylmar, a part of Los Angeles
3,985 posts, read 2,541,986 times
Reputation: 8515
I was married a long time ago briefly and no children, sadly I loved alcohol more than my very pretty wife. Don't care about no kids that much but I wish I could redo things with my wife. I am sober 34 years now.
I was a heartache to my very religious parents, busted for possession of pot back when that was a very serious crime and my dad also coming to bail me out in the middle of the night another two times for drunk driving.
When my dad was old and living in Leisure World he wanted for me to come visit him but was busy with work and living and I did some but not enough.
I am a Christian now and will be with my parents in Heaven.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-24-2017, 09:32 AM
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,664,674 times
Reputation: 35449
I am childfree by choice with no regrets.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-24-2017, 09:34 AM
Location: Loudon, TN
5,783 posts, read 4,836,241 times
Reputation: 19448
We're retired with no kids and no regrets. I decided early on that I wouldn't have kids for many reasons, all still valid. We are happily retired and free to roam as we wish. Hubby is 5 years older and would be expected, as a male, to have a shorter average life span, but his family has longer lived genes. On the other hand, he has a few health issues that bear watching. My side of the family has never really lived long, but I seem to be avoiding all the family health curses so far, and I make it a point to track such things regularly. So really it is a toss up as to which of us will be the last one standing.

I have LTC insurance, he doesn't. We joke that I AM his LTC insurance, again because of 5 year age gap. We have set up our finances so that if either checks out, the other should be fine financially. My only fear is dementia. Having been witness to my MIL's mental decline this last 10 years has shown me that I will need to make provisions, such as a trust, to manage my financial issues, such as monthly bills, etc, should any sign of dementia develop. I'll also need to select a health care proxy if DH goes before me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top