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Old 08-24-2017, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Canada
220 posts, read 111,474 times
Reputation: 753

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I made a conscious decision in my early 20's not to have kids and have never regretted it. I'd have been a horrible mother and in all likelihood any children I'd might have had would have skipped out as early as possible.

The only concern I have now that I'm "up there" in age, is dying alone and not being found for days, or weeks with my starving dogs dining on my corpse! But this has nothing to do with not having children.
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Old 08-24-2017, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Austin, Texas
1,553 posts, read 919,793 times
Reputation: 3410
No regrets. Child free by choice. Having kids so you have someone to care for you in your old age seems a bit of a selfish motive.
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Old 08-24-2017, 11:52 AM
 
Location: USA
1,815 posts, read 2,245,535 times
Reputation: 4139
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
I am childfree by choice with no regrets.


ditto
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Old 08-24-2017, 11:58 AM
 
Location: Location: Happy Place
3,697 posts, read 1,877,339 times
Reputation: 11344
Interesting question. As I age I can see how my deceased mother and my life are very, very similar. I am so much like her, loner, quiet, vain, etc.

I can't think of a greater compliment that to be like her.
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Old 08-24-2017, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
1,827 posts, read 2,619,524 times
Reputation: 2887
No regrets! I still insist I can tell the number of children you've had,by the number of worry lines across your forehead!
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Old 08-24-2017, 01:33 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,304 posts, read 10,782,389 times
Reputation: 20540
Quote:
Originally Posted by submart View Post
Hi Retirees,

More and more people are choosing not to have children. People who make this decision are often told they will:

1. Be lonely when they get "old"
2. Have nobody to take care of them when they get old.
3. Regret their decision later on in life.

So my question relates to above. Do you have any regrets in not having children?
1. I know plenty of people of all ages who are lonely. I know several married people who are lonely as well. Age doesn't have anything to do with loneliness.

2. Never have children and demand that they take care of your old butt! If they offer to and have the means, that's one thing. I see it over and over on the family forum and the caregiving forum where the children are practically forced into horrible situations.

3. Life is full of regrets. I regret not being 5'6", but there's nothing I can do about. I'm stuck being 5'2". Life goes on. Get over it basically.
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Old 08-24-2017, 01:37 PM
 
12,825 posts, read 20,160,725 times
Reputation: 10910
Quote:
Originally Posted by submart View Post
Hi Retirees,

More and more people are choosing not to have children. People who make this decision are often told they will:

1. Be lonely when they get "old"
2. Have nobody to take care of them when they get old.
3. Regret their decision later on in life.

So my question relates to above. Do you have any regrets in not having children?

My answer to statement #1 is that they can join a senior group, live in 55+ community, volunteer, work, etc.
My answer to statement #2 is with all the money being saved by not having kids a person can comfortably pay for a home health aide and long term care insurance. I don't have an answer for statement #3 as it is so individual and I'm only 33.

I've worked in a nursing home for over seven years and even people with children can be lonely or have housing/financial issues. People tend to live farther away from home and have their own finances to deal with. Besides, some people are not close with their adult children for whatever reason.

I find that elders with a sense of purpose in life are the happiest. Having children or grandchildren don't necessarily play a role.

Anyway, I just wanted to know your thoughts.

Thanks!
Another answer to #2 is, other than recently arrived immigrants from certain cultures, and a sliver of native hold outs, the old quasi agrarian notion of kids being just another part of the farm, to be bred and raised up to help out, is long gone. Most kids are not oriented to be de facto care givers and even if they somehow buck the trend, they may end up 1000 or even 10000 miles away when you are old.
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Old 08-24-2017, 01:40 PM
 
221 posts, read 116,395 times
Reputation: 483
Bucked the marriage trend and dealt with constant pressure from family and friends. To end single life. As time and badgering continued it reinforced self observation that this was not a life change that I'd be comfortable with. This stance has not changed.
Being single afforded the chance to move (far away). Took advantage of this. Only in a bad dream would I reflect back and ponder, "What if."
It wasn't my thing and in time, those who remained in contact realized this.
Sadly a domineering mother ingrained in me that the opposite sex was one whom you needed to not get close to. As I have known no other life there is no lack of folks to communicate with. True friends to confide in aren't great but isn't this true with everyone?
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Old 08-24-2017, 01:48 PM
 
Location: equator
3,463 posts, read 1,544,827 times
Reputation: 8610
Not only no regrets, but thankful every day I don't have kids. DH too. I knew since I was a kid that I didn't want any.


In-home care here is very cheap, so we'll go that route if and when.
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Old 08-24-2017, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,688,776 times
Reputation: 35449
I decided to give my answers to these tired old dumb questions because I've heard them all my life from clueless people. So to all the people who've ever said these things to me I wish you were here reading this. Here goes.

More and more people are choosing not to have children. People who make this decision are often told they will:

1. Be lonely when they get "old"

I'm old now. I'm not lonely.

2. Have nobody to take care of them when they get old.

I have options for this. I would rather have professionals who know what they're doing take care of me rather than family members who could drop me on my head trying to shift me around.

3. Regret their decision later on in life.

Nope, it's not going to get much later in my life and there are no regrets.
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