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Old 08-27-2017, 02:21 PM
 
5,429 posts, read 3,454,205 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post

I don't believe anyone here is denying children will never help it's just that they don't always do. Sometimes circumstances are such that they can't even if they wanted to.

Children are not insurance policies.
well-stated, Minervah.

And extrapolating from one anecdotal situation (or a few anecdotes that one knows about) does not automatically translate to 'lots'.
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Old 08-27-2017, 02:35 PM
 
5,429 posts, read 3,454,205 times
Reputation: 13714
Plenty of people do not have a 'death-bed' scenario at the end.

They die while walking, while sitting on a porch, while on vacation, while exercising, in their sleep, while doing something in the backyard, while snow shoveling, while chopping wood, while sitting in the living room.........

the whole 'death-bed' scenario certainly does not fit everyone's demise - and it is way overdone and over-emphasized when it doesn't need to be.

A friend forced his mother to stay alive with a CPAP machine over her face in the hospital during pneumonia which she was mightily fighting against due to the uncomfortability and frightfulness of the feeling - just to wait until one daughter drove 13 hours to the 'death-bed' - I think that is terrible and a type of terror/horror. It was a type of torturing the mother just to preserve a death-bed scene for the daughter.
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Old 08-27-2017, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,788 posts, read 4,843,885 times
Reputation: 19484
This is a good reason to have an advanced health care directive, and to be quite specific about what measures are not to be used to maintain or resuscitate you. Make sure you file a copy with your doctor, and you can keep copies wherever you want and discuss them with your family ahead of time.
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Old 08-27-2017, 07:32 PM
 
13,321 posts, read 25,574,131 times
Reputation: 20505
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
Because you respect yourself and the rest of society. What in the heck does having dependents have to do with that? One doesn't need children to take responsibility, and have a purpose beyond self-interest.
Exactly. Can't rep you again so soon. I wonder if the poster who brought this up is feeling stuck and wondering why he is stuck since he doesn't have dependents. Just as one can be responsible beyond self-interest, one can also feel stuck all by oneself.
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Old 08-27-2017, 09:39 PM
 
14,261 posts, read 24,004,620 times
Reputation: 20081
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohio_peasant View Post
In terms of retirement planning, Iím delighted that I need not worry about college-tuition for the kiddoes, or leaving them an inheritance. But one canít help wondering about the rationale for amassing and preserving a portfolio, for abstaining from spending from it, if one has no heirs. For whom is it all being saved? And, as one gets older, but has already met oneís notional financial goals: why does one keep working?

They continue working/saving because there is no certainty that your portfolio is adequate to cover some of the emergencies that may arise over the next 25-40 years. I know of at least two couples who ten years ago thought that at age 65 that they were set. in both cases, the husbands suffered debilitating strokes and by age 80, the assets were exhausted.

Also, it is a non-sequitor to think that because a couple has no children that they do not have heirs. Many of us have a large number of nephews, nieces, and a variety of friends.
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Old 08-27-2017, 10:12 PM
 
Location: North of Dallas
166 posts, read 85,407 times
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We're childless by choice, and can see retirement in the not-too-far-off horizon.
I wouldn't expect my children to take care of me in my senior years.
Just because you have children doesn't mean they're going to make your retirement years any better.
Lots of lonely people whose children and grandchildren don't visit them in the retirement homes.
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Old 08-27-2017, 10:14 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,563 posts, read 3,670,991 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
A friend once told me to have kids so I would have someone that loves me.
People say to make friends for the same reason. And to marry for the same reason.
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Old 08-28-2017, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,676,966 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
People say to make friends for the same reason. And to marry for the same reason.
There's a big difference though. You don't have to be responsible for your friends or your spouse. If you suddenly find you no longer have anything in common with them or you just plain get tired of them you can always drop them out of your life.

You can't do that with a kid.

Last edited by Minervah; 08-28-2017 at 08:58 AM..
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Old 08-28-2017, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,592 posts, read 17,589,896 times
Reputation: 27682
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlawrence01 View Post
They continue working/saving because there is no certainty that your portfolio is adequate to cover some of the emergencies that may arise over the next 25-40 years. I know of at least two couples who ten years ago thought that at age 65 that they were set. in both cases, the husbands suffered debilitating strokes and by age 80, the assets were exhausted.

Also, it is a non-sequitor to think that because a couple has no children that they do not have heirs. Many of us have a large number of nephews, nieces, and a variety of friends.
The sad thing is that, in many cases, people can and will be wiped out by medical expenses.

We've seen a lot of discussion on this forum about LTC insurance and other methods by which to hopefully increase insurance coverage, reduce expenses, etc. Still, many folks are going to be completely wiped out by death, even with prudent and extensive financial planning, if they end up with some sort of severe or long-term debilitating disease, or extensive nursing home stay.
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Old 08-28-2017, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,592 posts, read 17,589,896 times
Reputation: 27682
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
Plenty of people do not have a 'death-bed' scenario at the end.

They die while walking, while sitting on a porch, while on vacation, while exercising, in their sleep, while doing something in the backyard, while snow shoveling, while chopping wood, while sitting in the living room.........

the whole 'death-bed' scenario certainly does not fit everyone's demise - and it is way overdone and over-emphasized when it doesn't need to be.

A friend forced his mother to stay alive with a CPAP machine over her face in the hospital during pneumonia which she was mightily fighting against due to the uncomfortability and frightfulness of the feeling - just to wait until one daughter drove 13 hours to the 'death-bed' - I think that is terrible and a type of terror/horror. It was a type of torturing the mother just to preserve a death-bed scene for the daughter.
Yes, and this is important to remember.

I've had several family members fall dead suddenly and often with few symptoms of heart attacks and strokes. Many more died of strokes and heart attacks at an older age, often with prior strokes or heart attacks that were not lethal.

We all don't have the good fortune of being able to plan dates, times, and affairs to the T.
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