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Old 08-23-2017, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
221 posts, read 147,922 times
Reputation: 516

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Hi Retirees,

More and more people are choosing not to have children. People who make this decision are often told they will:

1. Be lonely when they get "old"
2. Have nobody to take care of them when they get old.
3. Regret their decision later on in life.

So my question relates to above. Do you have any regrets in not having children?

My answer to statement #1 is that they can join a senior group, live in 55+ community, volunteer, work, etc.
My answer to statement #2 is with all the money being saved by not having kids a person can comfortably pay for a home health aide and long term care insurance. I don't have an answer for statement #3 as it is so individual and I'm only 33.

I've worked in a nursing home for over seven years and even people with children can be lonely or have housing/financial issues. People tend to live farther away from home and have their own finances to deal with. Besides, some people are not close with their adult children for whatever reason.

I find that elders with a sense of purpose in life are the happiest. Having children or grandchildren don't necessarily play a role.

Anyway, I just wanted to know your thoughts.

Thanks!
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Old 08-23-2017, 06:12 PM
 
Location: Eastern Washington
14,245 posts, read 44,929,003 times
Reputation: 12841
Not retired yet, but closing in on 60 years old. Child free by choice, no regrets, none at all. Step daughter lives 200 miles away, and has her own life.
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Old 08-23-2017, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,744,100 times
Reputation: 32309
At age 73, my thoughts are that I do not at all regret my conscious decision not to have children. People can have children and still be lonely when they get old. People can have children and still have nobody to take care of them when they get old. People can regret any decision later in life, although that's one decision which I do NOT regret.


I have no quarrel with people who are gratified with how their children turned out and are glad they had them. I say that's great and I am happy for you. But I know I would have been a lousy parent. And I have known far too many people whose children have made their lives a living hell. Not for me, thanks.
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Old 08-23-2017, 06:29 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
16,420 posts, read 5,357,597 times
Reputation: 51364
I have no regrets because I made the decision that I felt was right for me. At times I feel a bit wistful when Facebook friends brag about their children's and grandchildren's accomplishments or talk about how close they are and wonderful it is to spend time with them. But I knew from a young age that I was not cut out to be a mother and that I shouldn't try.

As for eldercare, I do worry that there won't be anyone to help if I become physically frail. But of course having kids does not guarantee this. I am hoping to find an affordable continuing care facility that offers meals, housekeeping and has higher levels of care available if needed.

What worries me most is my financial health. If I should develop dementia or some other severe condition that limits my ability to handle my affairs, who will keep the records, pay the bills, do my taxes and see that I don't get taken advantage of by caregivers? I have a niece and nephew, but though they are both nice people and well-meaning, neither has the sophistication or the money management skills to take charge. They're the types who spend it as soon as they have it.
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Old 08-23-2017, 06:36 PM
 
512 posts, read 305,409 times
Reputation: 2512
Been retired for a while and just turned 60. No regrets or second thoughts about not having kids. And none along the way either
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Old 08-23-2017, 06:45 PM
 
2,798 posts, read 1,002,852 times
Reputation: 3259
No regrets. No one should be having kids so they could take care of them in old age.
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Old 08-23-2017, 06:49 PM
 
5,429 posts, read 3,452,633 times
Reputation: 13714
No regrets whatsoever. I knew I never wanted kids from my teenage years onward. Was married for 16 years. Husband did not want kids either. I just knew I was not cut out for it.
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Old 08-23-2017, 07:01 PM
 
6,321 posts, read 5,061,406 times
Reputation: 12838
No regrets!
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Old 08-23-2017, 07:05 PM
 
Location: Location: Happy Place
3,697 posts, read 1,872,421 times
Reputation: 11339
I have one son whom I adore. I do not expect him to keep me company or care for me when I retire.
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Old 08-23-2017, 07:39 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
1,428 posts, read 2,571,733 times
Reputation: 2536
DH is 14 years older, so I'll likely outlive him. I wouldn't expect any of his kids (they were pretty much adults when we married) to "deal" with me in any way. I'll continue to simplify, and will maintain strong finances so my one brother and his boys won't have to do much other than cash out and enjoy what old aunt jakabedy left them.
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