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Old 09-04-2017, 10:59 AM
 
Location: equator
3,431 posts, read 1,527,565 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jamary1 View Post
Retirement: Half the income, twice the husband.

Don't we know it!!
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Old 09-04-2017, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,628 posts, read 19,947,296 times
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You have to want to compromise, and it doesn't seem like you want to. You changed your mind on a bunch of stuff, and decided you can't live without certain things. That is not starting from a place of where a happy middle ground can be found.
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Old 09-04-2017, 11:28 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,216 posts, read 6,313,926 times
Reputation: 9827
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
You have to want to compromise, and it doesn't seem like you want to. You changed your mind on a bunch of stuff, and decided you can't live without certain things. That is not starting from a place of where a happy middle ground can be found.
Yes, compromising is the key to a happy marriage. Otherwise watch out for the 50% SWR.
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Old 09-04-2017, 12:43 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,428 posts, read 1,665,603 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jamary1 View Post
Retirement: Half the income, twice the husband.
For a stereotype, that made me laugh. I'm sure there are just as many wives who have boring post retirement routines as husbands. Being a stick in the mud affects both men and women.

This had to be happening for years before retirement though, it didn't occur overnight. There must have been signs of what was coming.

Last edited by jean_ji; 09-04-2017 at 01:01 PM..
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Old 09-04-2017, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Gulf Coast
1,158 posts, read 648,842 times
Reputation: 2244
We are working things out ahead of time. I stomped my foot and held my ground. He is retiring in a little less than a year. He doesn't complain as much as he used to. It helps that work is getting harder and harder for both of us. Today I went out and helped for a couple hours and it was really tough on us both. I asked him if we were even going to make it that long.

I picked a fun travel thing to do soon after he retires and it took a little bit but I kept talking and showing him pictures, took him to a show about it and he got on board. When he gets on board for something he goes full tilt. I had to slow him down for a bit.

So I think we'll work things out. I wanted to get us settled in something smaller and cheaper, but he didn't want to. We'll compromise. It's going to be ok.
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Old 09-04-2017, 04:43 PM
 
5,419 posts, read 2,819,339 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jean_ji View Post
For a stereotype, that made me laugh. I'm sure there are just as many wives who have boring post retirement routines as husbands. Being a stick in the mud affects both men and women.

This had to be happening for years before retirement though, it didn't occur overnight. There must have been signs of what was coming.
I laughed, but I got a different interpretation out of that saying. To me, it meant husband not working anymore means he is around the house twice as much. Nothing to do with stick in the mud.
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Old 09-04-2017, 04:45 PM
 
897 posts, read 1,520,845 times
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When I retired one week in my wife said " I married you for life not for lunch". I got a part time job.
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Old 09-04-2017, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Location: Happy Place
3,688 posts, read 1,866,292 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabike View Post
Best response!
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Old 09-04-2017, 07:22 PM
 
Location: Forest bathing
1,631 posts, read 963,006 times
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My husband was laid off in 2008 and I walked off my part-time job a month later. It was hard financially but we are doing well now. We married at 34 so pretty much were independent anyway. We call ourselves "married singles".

Today, 8 years later, we still work our acreage with the help of a tractor we should have bought years ago and have a business on our property that we fell into that allows us to have a few luxuries. Financially, we need to be somewhat frugal but still can do some traveling and make a few purchases. There was talk at one time of moving to a different state but we decided we like our home town better.

We do enjoy a number of the same activities. We have a truck camper so travel to remote places in the spring and fall. In the winter we walk the trails nearby or watch old movies. In the summer, we work in our garden or tidy up fallen trees or do some remedial landscaping.

Funny thing is that we shop for groceries separately as I am a vegetarian and he likes meat. It is easier that way as we are in different parts of the store.

We just built a small cabin in our woods where I can pursue my drawing end painting or just read during the day. No power, water, wifi. Esoecially, in the winter, when it gets darker earlier, I need my space.

We didn't really have a retirement plan as we lost or quit our jobs before we were ready. But, it all worked out and we are both happy it worked out the way it did.

In review, we seem to have the same major goals, that is age in place and improve our land plus camp and walk. He likes to putter in the shop and I draw or read. It works for us.
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Old 09-04-2017, 08:11 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,628 posts, read 19,947,296 times
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DH and I have gone through all kinds of scenarios until we found one that suits us both. To start, he liked desert and I do not, but Sedona was a good middle ground, though it was a little to far from a large city to be ideal. I wanted San Francisco, and he wanted rural. I took it off the list as it is pricier than I want to spend. We looked at Seattle, and we both liked it, BUT neither of us wanted the cloud cover or the house upkeep of such a damp climate. Other areas in WA we crossed out for various reasons.

This summer we visited Carson City/Genoa. I've always loved pine trees and mountains, and he found he liked it too. We can live 10 minutes away and it's like we are in the country, but Trader Joe's and stores are super close. Reno is 40 minutes away in case we need specialty doctors or stores.

It was a constant give and take. But I think the main reason it worked, is because we know we will be happy anywhere if we are together.
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