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Old 01-22-2019, 06:54 PM
978 posts, read 297,496 times
Reputation: 2136


Originally Posted by nalabama View Post
This has been a wonderful thread, with many helpful posts. Thank you all for your insightful posts, which have helped me sort out a somewhat similar situation. This thread represents the best of what this forum provides.
This post has been extremely helpful to me as well!
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Old 01-22-2019, 08:22 PM
3,604 posts, read 1,639,332 times
Reputation: 13546
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
"Be a part of granddaughter's life" might be code for "be our free babysitter", but that might be okay with you, so do what makes YOU happy. You will be in their life, but they also have a whole life without you, so you will need to find your own social circle there and you may not see them nearly as much as you would think.

Well just an update since we have been here in Pheonix for a year now. We are not used as free babysitters ,so no it wasn’t code. It it is as we all hoped and talked about and we are “ a part of our grandchildren’s lives”.

We see them almost once a week (as per my son and daughter in law’s request) , hang out, have fun, and if there are any emergencies we are always here. Rest of the time my husband and I are hiking all the fantastic trails twice a week, day tripping and exploring, I have my art work to do for a group exhibit later this year.
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Old 01-22-2019, 09:25 PM
Location: Redmond, Washington
104 posts, read 38,202 times
Reputation: 170
This is a sad thread. So sorry for everyone who feels this way. This is so tough!!

I just want to add something. When I was younger, any excuse I had to see family I would use. Including borrowing something. Somehow it only felt ok if there was some kind of need.

Don't mistake that they always want something from you as being used. They may or may not even want it. Never did I feel comfortable having my family over. My house was too small, this or that. Low self -esteem manifests itself in many ways. Sure they are likely overwhelmed with life, jobs, college whatever. But don't think they don't care. They are just likely trying to stay afloat. There just isn't enough time when you're younger.

Given them a couple hundred thousand, and I bet they would re-arrange their life to see you. not because you gave them money but security so they could reduce work hours or whatever.

My parents were not the nicest people, I admit. Much I do not admit as it enlarges the pit of my stomach making me feel ill. But don't think they don't care, just saying. Hang in there, so sorry this is happening to you.
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