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Old 09-08-2017, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,970 posts, read 1,372,876 times
Reputation: 6740

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Definitely better since I'm over my "potential." And life is easier when all of that sexual tension isn't front and center everywhere you go, either.

As to that, it's so nice to be able to just chat with a man who just looks at me now as an auntie type. I can now have a meaningful conversation with people without everyone wondering if there's some ulterior sexual motive.

And you know what I'm talking about, if you're honest with yourselves :-)

There will still be those few who would take anyone LOL, but overall, I can now just have conversations with people without any of that sexual tension - will he think I'm coming on to him, will she think I want her husband, etc., etc.
You would be wrong, I donít believe that you think you are over your ďpotentialĒ. You may have convinced yourself that others in your age group are. There is always some sexual tension.

At my age, of course we can have meaningful conversations. I have learned to be a good listener and well versed in many subjects. However, if you are an attractive auntie type, guess what.

Yes, Iím being very honest.

The sexual tension is still present, only more covert. If you are attractive, she will still think that you want her husband. I, on the other hand would be wondering if you think that Iím coming on to you.

Iím in the second half of my 70s. So, here is looking at you kid. Enjoy your life and be happy.
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Old 09-08-2017, 04:42 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,534,193 times
Reputation: 16771
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
I admire that you have been able to make peace with what is going on in your life. It does take time and work to accept a different lifestyle than what you might have had before now.

It took me what felt like forever to accept my situation. Never envisioned it as it is. I used to socialize with a lot of women who had a lot more money, nicer homes, etc. But things change, I realize there are plenty of people in my situation, some have more and some have less. But really what difference does it make.

There is no price on peace of mind.
When I was 17, I got very ill. I did manage to graduate from High School, but spent several years going to the doctor and being told stuff like I must be eating wrong. Or I was imagining this or that, and so on. I got sick enough I went to Emergency, and they got me a real doctor and a diagnosis. But my goal was to go to college. After surgery and meds and a good diet, I was able to. I ended up taking a programming class along with all the history ones and was hooked. I even worked in programming for a while. Never got to be a history teacher.

But I learned from that time. You are as strong as you choose to be. Maybe you can't do all the stuff you'd like, but life is full of other options. Maybe health hasn't given you the best options, but use everything you can. Don't accept that you're too 'broken'.

And stuff... we tend to define people by how much 'stuff' they can show off. But someone with everything can still be miserable and someone with a bare bones budget can be comfortable and satisfied. Its not the amount, its how much power we give it.

I write stories, just for posting but I put every bit of care into them. I've met others who also like to write stories. But just because I'm not out to sell them to someone, I put the same care and work into the writing, because every story deserves to be told the best way it can. And I take pride that I can.

What matters is doing your best, and sharing with others. If someone reads one of my stories and its made their day, then I am happily rewarded.
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Old 09-08-2017, 07:59 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,081 posts, read 22,924,480 times
Reputation: 35196
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cruzincat View Post
The sad thing is that you don't find that sad. While I cannot do the "things" I used to do, the memory of doing them in my youth, and how mush satisfaction I got out of them is still there.

If you don't miss them, then I wonder if you ever appreciated them in the first place.
I definitely never appreciated the stress. Why the reaction to what I said? Must have hit a nerve.
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Old 09-08-2017, 08:01 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,081 posts, read 22,924,480 times
Reputation: 35196
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
My jaw dropped when I read this. All I can say is "get over yourself."
Puleez. You never had a friend's husband come on to you? A boss? Were never afraid to ask for a ride, thinking a guy might get the wrong idea? Were you never single when your friends were all coupled-up and you were no longer wanted in the group?

That's all sexual tension. I don't believe you never encountered it.
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Old 09-08-2017, 08:06 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,081 posts, read 22,924,480 times
Reputation: 35196
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrilbyandDixie View Post
I understand what you are saying. While it was nice being young and attractive and having men flirt with you back in your younger days there is a lot to be said for just knowing that anyone who is talking to you now is just interested in the conversation.

If you showed picture of how I look now to me when I was thirty and good-looking I probably would have jumped out a window, but at almost 60 it doesn't really bother me. There is a certain freedom in not worrying about all of the vanities of youth. I am extremely healthy but no longer slender. Who cares?
I remember when my Mom was around 60, who was an absolute bomb-shell most of her life, and saying to me that she never thought she'd ever look "maternal" LOL. It depressed her, but that was most of her identity - being a sexy woman. I always wanted to just have an intelligent conversation with a man without him undressing me mentally.

Men are still men, though. You have to get to the point where you are completely out of their sexual radar for that to happen. As in, they are 20 and you are 60 and fat LOL.
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Old 09-08-2017, 08:14 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,081 posts, read 22,924,480 times
Reputation: 35196
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigeonhole View Post
I would be hypocritical to deny that, it's a common sense observation. That's the reason why I feel happier now a 62 than when I was younger, particularly the teen years were for me (a male) a torture. Each time an attractive girl talked to me, howtrivial the situation (a barmaid asking for my order!) I became red as a tomato and couldn't utter a word. It took me a long time to overcome that pathological timidity.
Exactly! It goes both ways. It's like when you're younger, the world is seeped in hormones. Life is so much calmer outside of that.
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Old 09-08-2017, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,081 posts, read 22,924,480 times
Reputation: 35196
Quote:
Originally Posted by txfriend View Post
You would be wrong, I donít believe that you think you are over your ďpotentialĒ. You may have convinced yourself that others in your age group are. There is always some sexual tension.

At my age, of course we can have meaningful conversations. I have learned to be a good listener and well versed in many subjects. However, if you are an attractive auntie type, guess what.

Yes, Iím being very honest.

The sexual tension is still present, only more covert. If you are attractive, she will still think that you want her husband. I, on the other hand would be wondering if you think that Iím coming on to you.

Iím in the second half of my 70s. So, here is looking at you kid. Enjoy your life and be happy.
Oh my, this is like the classic example of a man who has turned into a grumpy old man because he lacks as many hormones as he used to. So many who are worse gossips than women once we get older.

There will always be dirty old men. But, when you are young, you attract a huge number of people, as far as sexual interest goes. There will be people younger, your own age, all the way up to dirty old men.

When you are an old lady, you have significantly narrowed down that number to simply - dirty old men (or whatever the orientation is).

I think you misread my reference to "potential" as having something to do with sexual attractiveness. That was not my point at all. I was talking about the "potential" to become an executive, or to get a better career if only I had another degree, or to become an entrepreneur, etc. I was talking about potential as far as becoming rich, famous, educated, successful in a career, etc.

Still, I don't understand the animosity from people in this thread. And I don't believe anyone here hasn't had the same experiences or really knows what I'm talking about. For some reason, you guys have baggage or something, to find the need to be personally offended.
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Old 09-08-2017, 10:16 PM
 
Location: Midvale, Idaho
1,539 posts, read 2,381,690 times
Reputation: 1960
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Oh my, this is like the classic example of a man who has turned into a grumpy old man because he lacks as many hormones as he used to. So many who are worse gossips than women once we get older.

There will always be dirty old men. But, when you are young, you attract a huge number of people, as far as sexual interest goes. There will be people younger, your own age, all the way up to dirty old men.

When you are an old lady, you have significantly narrowed down that number to simply - dirty old men (or whatever the orientation is).

I think you misread my reference to "potential" as having something to do with sexual attractiveness. That was not my point at all. I was talking about the "potential" to become an executive, or to get a better career if only I had another degree, or to become an entrepreneur, etc. I was talking about potential as far as becoming rich, famous, educated, successful in a career, etc.

Still, I don't understand the animosity from people in this thread. And I don't believe anyone here hasn't had the same experiences or really knows what I'm talking about. For some reason, you guys have baggage or something, to find the need to be personally offended.
Me either. Just more of what so many are saying needs to change. People are on edge and seem to enjoy biting others heads off with awful remarks at any opportunity even if they are clueless to what is really going on. Just sad.
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Old 09-09-2017, 05:03 AM
 
Location: Texas
1,970 posts, read 1,372,876 times
Reputation: 6740
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Oh my, this is like the classic example of a man who has turned into a grumpy old man because he lacks as many hormones as he used to. So many who are worse gossips than women once we get older.

There will always be dirty old men. But, when you are young, you attract a huge number of people, as far as sexual interest goes. There will be people younger, your own age, all the way up to dirty old men.

When you are an old lady, you have significantly narrowed down that number to simply - dirty old men (or whatever the orientation is).

I think you misread my reference to "potential" as having something to do with sexual attractiveness. That was not my point at all. I was talking about the "potential" to become an executive, or to get a better career if only I had another degree, or to become an entrepreneur, etc. I was talking about potential as far as becoming rich, famous, educated, successful in a career, etc.

Still, I don't understand the animosity from people in this thread. And I don't believe anyone here hasn't had the same experiences or really knows what I'm talking about. For some reason, you guys have baggage or something, to find the need to be personally offended.
I’m sorry you feel offended by my interpretation of your post. You may not be as open minded as you would like us to believe. Calling me names such as “grumpy or dirty old man lacking hormones and being a gossip is a refection on yourself.

This is what you wrote: Definitely better since I'm over my "potential." And life is easier when all of that sexual tension isn't front and center everywhere you go, either.

Nowhere did you suggest anything other than sexuality. I did not find one word that would suggest education, career, or being rich or famous.

I feel absolutely no animosity, and if you would have read my post with an open mind, you would have also gathered that I was agreeing with most of what you said.

I was not personally offended, and believe me I carry no baggage. You on the other hand can’t say the same after the post directed at me.
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Old 09-09-2017, 08:25 AM
 
Location: South Florida
195 posts, read 106,047 times
Reputation: 1157
Okay folks. Calm down.This thread is about how content we oldsters are, so lets set a good example for the youngin's.

I think we all need to keep in mind that when you read someone else's post you can't hear the inflection that was in their head while they were writing it. It is nice to come here and share stories with people our own age but if we feel like "One wrong word and someone is going to jump down my throat!" it will be less nice. I think we have to allow that we have all had different experiences and just because yours is the opposite of mine it doesn't mean that yours is wrong.
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