U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 09-09-2017, 05:07 AM
 
Location: Kennett Square, PA
1,698 posts, read 2,607,065 times
Reputation: 2594

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
It was no "hell" at all. I didn't even notice it. It was nothing. And no problems whatsoever.

Funny...my late Mother had no problem. But I was NUTS with the night sweats and hot flashes. Opted out of the hormone replacement - NO THANK YOU. But I was thrilled to be finished with 25 years of Endometriosis and surgical procedures every 4 years. GOODBYE!

Now as to the "other" stuff: I couldn't care less about being older, in terms of appearing less attractive. I LOVE my old jeans, sneakers and over-sized tie-dyed shirts. To me, it feels like the early 70's again. GONE are the days of career make-up, suits, high heels, panty hose, "coordinating jewelry" and all that other superfluous crap. Right now, I'd have to check to see if I even own a dress.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-09-2017, 05:11 AM
 
Location: Kennett Square, PA
1,698 posts, read 2,607,065 times
Reputation: 2594
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharpydove View Post
You are VERY wrong! I went in to premature menopause at 38 and the hot flashes were pure hell and very severe. Strangers would ask me if I was ok. It was obvious to anyone around me when I had one.
Feeling a little warm, you say?? Hahaha! I turned bright red, sweat dripping down my neck. It was miserable.
But nice for you to write such a dismissive, judgemental post.
She is indeed very wrong and uninformed. The only reason it FINALLY dawned on me that early MP had "approacheth" was because of - and I mean: TRULY INSANE - night sweats. Oh yeah...that red face and neck thing was pretty bizarre - kinda SciFi
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 06:15 AM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,646,099 times
Reputation: 13548
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllisonHB View Post
Funny, being diagnosed with breast cancer at 36 didn't change my views about surgery for cosmetic reasons. I thought it was self indulgent and unnecessary before and still do now. Losing a diseased chunk of myself and ending up with a pretty impressive scar really didn't bother me. What cancer DID do was teach me what is more important.....living life in a genuine honest manner and not to sweat the small stuff that can't really be avoided. I have never cared much about appearance; a good thing as I was a gawky knock kneed skinny teenager, a clumsy gawky shy adult, and am now a gawky, clumsy, shy senior, never one to attract much attention at any age. Maybe that taught me how superficial looks are, so not worth struggling over. I've had the luck and privilege of a 34+ year profession in wildlife biology I cared about very much. I know that I am an ethical, open minded, and hopefully a kind hearted person, and sometimes people comment on this. That means so much more. The extra pounds, a wrinkle or sag somewhere doesn't. I could have been dead a long time ago.

I agree,sheesh the last thing I thought about was looks, I was ALIVE and I could cherish my life with my wee family, my new granddaughter,my friends.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 07:10 AM
 
3,455 posts, read 2,332,618 times
Reputation: 7003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy View Post
So I am not getting "over it" , I am embracing it . There is this moment when you hit a certain age (different for everyone) where you really don't give a rats backside what anyone thinks and you focus on the quality of your life and it isn't defined by whether a man notices you or not.
^^^This. It is so utterly freeing to reach a point in your life where you do not care what others -- especially strangers and casual acquaintances -- think of you. I am definitely more confident and more assertive than I have ever been. It's a nice place to be at this point in my life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 07:31 AM
 
6,321 posts, read 5,064,142 times
Reputation: 12838
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissMischief View Post
I donít mind my aging body so much, although sometimes I look in the mirror and think Holy cow what happened! And then I remember Iím 62. I could do without the various aches and pains and health worries, but I find that can be somewhat manageable by eating right and exercise Ė I care more about feeling good than looking good.

I do fight the visible signs of aging to some extent, but itís mostly a matter of survival. I donít like feeling invisible and irrelevant at work. I donít like being talked through and walked through as though I were a ghost. It never happened when I was younger and still attractive.

So now I dye my hair (though I donít bother with makeup anymore), and try to be reasonably well groomed, and dress to be stylishly contemporary yet age appropriate. Itís ***ing exhausting, because there are things Iíd rather do with my limited time, energy, and money. But Iíll do it for a few more years.

The few older women left in my workplace do the same Ė not a gray hair in sight, and some of them do take it a little too far and come off as a little desperate Ė but maybe I do too. There can be real financial consequences for failing to be young and appealing, at least in the corporate world. Iíve been laid off more than once, but only once I turned 50, and itís been a rough decade. I donít think itís fair to judge women who go that route as ďvainĒ Ė maybe theyíre just trying to survive using what they have or what worked when they were younger.
Be the BOSS and then they won't ignore you.

I don't dye my hair. It is funny that several of my friends are now taking this up. Yea - you have to be careful with the hair dye for it not to look so obvious.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,788 posts, read 4,843,885 times
Reputation: 19484
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
If no one told a person that 'hot flashes' can be part of menopause or if no one told a person that even such a thing existed, one would just think of oneself as maybe feeling too warm/hot at times or sweating easily at times.

If so-called 'hot flashes' were never told to the population and weren't trumped up beyond belief, unbelievably over-dramatized, exaggerated as a cliche, and erroneously over-emphasized, they wouldn't even be mentioned. A good number of people sweat quite a bit - both men and women -.... having nothing to do with menopause.
Believe me, there is nothing trumped up about sitting in a nice, air-conditioned 73 degree conference room in a business meeting and suddenly you feel the back of your hair getting damp and your face gets hot, like when you are super embarrassed. Then you feel the sweat running down your entire scalp, dripping from your nose and chin (yes, DRIPPING) onto the table or papers in front of you. Then you feel the back of your blouse clinging to your back with sweat that runs down into your fanny crack. Your armpits are drenched. Your makeup smears, and your mascara starts to run if you touch your face, so you try not to wipe your face but you are beet red, and people are starting to stare and look at you like "Are you alright?". Now have this happen up to 20 times per day, when it never happened once in your life before age 51. Or at least not if you weren't out working in 100 degree heat.

Or you wake up in bed, in a 74 degree room, lying on top of the sheets and you have to get up and turn on the fan and take off your soaking wet PJ's and lie under the fan until you stop sweating, but now you're freezing and clammy, and then you have to get up and turn off the fan, and get under the now damp sheets. Then you wake up about 2 hours later, kick off the sheets, and do it all over again. We finally had to install a remote for the fan because my getting up 5 times a night to turn the fan on and off was keeping DH awake.

While on HRT I was instantly back to normal, but unfortunately after a year the medications caused me to develop a dangerous blood clot and had to be discontinued. Within days of discontinuing the meds, the sweat spells started again. We have fans in every room, including a little battery operated one I can take wherever it is needed. I no longer even mention that I'm having a flash, I just get up and turn on the fan and then get up 10 minutes later and turn it off. Fortunately, after 8 years, they are slowing down now to about 6 or 8 per 24 hour period, and they are much milder, no more back sweat and much less dripping from my hair and face, but I still have to change clothes several times per day, or risk smelling like a racehorse.

I know, this is all TMI, but this is to illustrate to you that this level of internal heat is not exaggerated, or a product of suggestion. Just because you had an easy time of menopause, does not mean everyone else did.

Last edited by TheShadow; 09-09-2017 at 08:49 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,676,966 times
Reputation: 35449
Reading all these posts it would certainly appear that different people age differently both physically and mentally. It's not just "one menopause experience fits all."

I've found it interesting to hear about everyone's experiences. I guess the OP will have to take whatever she can from them and decide how to deal with the situation when her own time comes.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 08:48 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,251 posts, read 8,543,297 times
Reputation: 35677
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
If no one told a person that 'hot flashes' can be part of menopause or if no one told a person that even such a thing existed, one would just think of oneself as maybe feeling too warm/hot at times or sweating easily at times.

If so-called 'hot flashes' were never told to the population and weren't trumped up beyond belief, unbelievably over-dramatized, exaggerated as a cliche, and erroneously over-emphasized, they wouldn't even be mentioned. A good number of people sweat quite a bit - both men and women -.... having nothing to do with menopause.
I really detest the glib, smirky behaviors of people who apparently have no skills at empathy yet seem to pass for human beings - just talking in general of course, though this is a pretty good example.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 08:56 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
5,699 posts, read 4,427,152 times
Reputation: 11685
There's a difference between embracing the aging process and letting onself go. I hope to look my personal best at every age.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,687 posts, read 4,725,286 times
Reputation: 28150
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
If no one told a person that 'hot flashes' can be part of menopause or if no one told a person that even such a thing existed, one would just think of oneself as maybe feeling too warm/hot at times or sweating easily at times.

If so-called 'hot flashes' were never told to the population and weren't trumped up beyond belief, unbelievably over-dramatized, exaggerated as a cliche, and erroneously over-emphasized, they wouldn't even be mentioned. A good number of people sweat quite a bit - both men and women -.... having nothing to do with menopause.
Your statements are obtuse and contrary to common sense.

This bizarre "hot flashes don't exist because I've never had them" notion is just as absurd as me putting forth the idea that there's no such thing as childbirth because I've never had a child.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top