U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 09-09-2017, 09:22 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,595 posts, read 4,674,480 times
Reputation: 27789

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by soulsurv View Post
She is indeed very wrong and uninformed. The only reason it FINALLY dawned on me that early MP had "approacheth" was because of - and I mean: TRULY INSANE - night sweats. Oh yeah...that red face and neck thing was pretty bizarre - kinda SciFi
Not so much night sweats for me but daytime episodes of sudden, soaring heat that sometimes lasted 10 or 15 minutes.

I didn't snap to menopause as the culprit right away because I thought the flash part of hot flash meant a short duration.

I was in Lake Tahoe at a hotel buffet one Thanksgiving with family and friends when the first one hit. I had to go down to street level and try to cool off. The interesting thing about that was that my MIL and a friend, both in their late 70s, were there and I told them what had happened and that I was mystified. They didn't know what it was, either.

Apparently they had had menopause experiences different from mine.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-09-2017, 09:42 AM
Status: "Stand with Hong Kong" (set 22 days ago)
 
Location: Laguna Niguel, Orange County CA
9,809 posts, read 7,694,943 times
Reputation: 7804
The question posed in this thread infantilizes women. Why was this same question not posed to men?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 09:49 AM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,081 posts, read 22,914,959 times
Reputation: 35196
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeana View Post
I am still young certainly, but have to admit I worry about getting older. Call me vain but while I know I am no super model by any means, it is something I think about.
How did I get over it? Once I realized all of the upsides. Being old and single gives me a huge amount of freedom. I get to do what I want, when I want. I'm not being pursued by "hardly" anyone (just the occasional dirty old man now LOL), so can have easy conversations with people without any of the hormones that are so prevalent when everyone is younger. I don't bother with having my hair colored anymore, or my nails done. I don't wear crippling shoes anymore. I buy clothing, and hats that are comfortable and functional without worrying about if they make my butt look big, etc., LOL.

Just think about everything that irritates you in your life right now, then look at it from the point of - would it be an issue if I was old and single? For most things, the answer would be probably not.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 10:26 AM
 
11,118 posts, read 8,523,617 times
Reputation: 28059
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvSouthOC View Post
The question posed in this thread infantilizes women. Why was this same question not posed to men?
Because men don't give a crap about such things. Regardless of age or appearance, they believe they are a stud.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
9,800 posts, read 5,474,276 times
Reputation: 8353
I'm not sure if I have found a solution yet. Getting older and being alone, that is.

I imagine, try to figure, that how do people like Lalla Ward and Ann Turkel ... and I suppose Carly Simon do it.

I have been reading, off and on, https://www.amazon.com/Living-Alone-...barbara+feldon . Perhaps I have been absorbing her techniques, perhaps they have just always been there, but I do find I am quite bubbly with people I don't know like the cashiers.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 10:44 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,523 posts, read 70,430,585 times
Reputation: 76485
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharpydove View Post
Generally, I think it's a much harder process for women. For me, it was 50. I see my peers practically in panic mode at the idea of growing old. To hold on to the physical with the latest lotion, potion, or procedure. Then, for extra fun, we go through the hell called menopause.

It's not all bad, though. I feel more confident, at peace, and am putting myself first for once.
I think the key to easing in to acceptance is for women to support each other more. I only have one friend that I can talk "real" to about this. My other close friends are in what I call the denial group.
None of my female friends or relatives are in panic mode as they approach or pass 50 or even 60. They're all living fulfilling lives, have jobs they love that include travel to parts of the world they're interested in, and most don't look anywhere near 50 or even 40. I suppose that helps. But the important thing is to value aspects of life outside the superficial and physical. Have something that gives your life meaning.

My brother, in contrast, states that "it's all downhill from here", and that he's just waiting out the remaining years until death arrives. He has no hobbies or interests, no source of meaning in his life at all. And he looks it. He looks old. He's not depressed; he still has friends he gets together with, and a new grandchild to brag about, but he's never viewed life as having any point.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 10:49 AM
Status: "0-0-2 start!" (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: The beautiful Rogue Valley, Oregon
7,287 posts, read 15,336,812 times
Reputation: 9463
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
I get really hot in humid or just hot/warm weather - (and in hot rooms)

bucket loads of sweat surge from my hairline, my head, my forehead, face, torso (back & front), neck........

sweat covering every inch of skin all over head, face, neck, back, front of torso with buckets loads of sweat, pouring all over me and from me.

My clothes become soaked. Sweat streaming heavily all over.

It's just a fact of life, my body doesn't take easily to humid/hot/warm weather, I don't dwell on it nor do I consider it particularly significant in the scheme of a life.
Well, I never sweat like that, hence your experience is false - which is what you are telling other people who describe menopause as something different than what your experience was. Sort of like telling someone with chronic depression to just "get over it, I did."

For me, I had to carry around one of those battery-powered mister fans and a bandana, even in cold snowy winter. That lasted about 6 or 8 months and seemed to come out of nowhere, without any kind of warning or creeping up. The facial and body flush was so strong it was almost painful. Sleep was difficult and I even ended up sleeping in a different room so that I didn't wake the spouse up multiple times a night. Very glad when that episode was over.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Maine
2,015 posts, read 2,707,842 times
Reputation: 2756
Two ideas:

Adopt a dog (or two, or more) and shower him/her with love. Bonding with a dog keeps things real and priorities in the right place!

Go to Home Depot, Lowes, or a local, independently owned, non-big box hardware store , buy the necessary materials and build a sturdy little bridge to get one's self over the concept that beauty, joy and value will inherently be missing in the later years of life. It seems pretty clear that many posters here are doing interesting, fun, and useful things, regardless of the year they were born. Here in Maine, we know a woman who is definitely older than 80 (probably much older) and she still hikes Katahdin each year!! That is the northern end point of the Appalachian Trail, and definitely a tough hike all on its own. She is a complete dynamo and I am in awe of her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,598 posts, read 19,931,965 times
Reputation: 45669
I've always known that looks have an expiration date, so I made sure there was more to me than just my looks.

Also, I take care of myself, so while I obviously look older, I (feel) look good for my age.

To me the path to happiness is finding the good in your current situation, whatever it may be.
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-09-2017, 11:33 AM
 
2,222 posts, read 1,094,492 times
Reputation: 9061
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeana View Post
I am still young certainly, but have to admit I worry about getting older. Call me vain but while I know I am no super model by any means, it is something I think about.
I noticed my first wrinkles at age 41. I was shocked, almost fell on the floor. I had been sure I would never get old, never become an old lady. A couple of years later, I noticed the beginnings of jowls. I wanted to crawl away and hide.

But now, well into my 60s, I don't mind at all, actually enjoy aging. Being young and beautiful is a lot of work, being an old lady is more my style. Not saying I've let myself go, not by a long shot, but I'm comfortable as an old woman now.

My husband, on the other hand, thinks losing one's looks is horrible. He has yet to accept that we're both old and wrinkled. He hates it and dwells on it constantly. Ah well.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top