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Old 09-09-2017, 11:42 AM
 
4,249 posts, read 8,135,828 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvSouthOC View Post
The question posed in this thread infantilizes women. Why was this same question not posed to men?
Exactly.

I am raising a son and a daughter. I see that my son is not preoccupied with his own looks. There are no messages in this society on looks, wrinkles, makeup, smooth legs for men.... As a consequence, he is blissfully happy with himself.

I do notice all the messages about women around me and my daughter. It bothers me at the existential and visceral level. I counter it the best way I can - by giving my daughter my own example. No makeup, no frills in clothing, our shopping is done stealthily online. More interest to ideas, friendships, events around us.

I look in detached amazement at how women lose vast amounts of money on snake oil salesmen, fads in "meso, hyulablahblah..., lipocavitation,..." come and go.

How we need to change this industry/attitude of women objectification, so the girls would grow up blissfully happy, just like the boys.
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Old 09-09-2017, 11:43 AM
 
4,431 posts, read 2,605,246 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeana View Post
I am still young certainly, but have to admit I worry about getting older. Call me vain but while I know I am no super model by any means, it is something I think about.
You cant think about it or dwell on it.

It's going to happen whether you like it or think about it or not.

Now, I'm 54 shortly, male and my beard has been Gray for years. I've EARNED those Gray beard hairs, the ones on my temples and even the wiry ones growing out of my ears that I have to trim all the time!

You'll feel differently as you age.

I get around with a cane, and wear a knee brace, and can forecast rain or wet snow by my bones.

You'll HAVE to adjust.

I already look forward to turning the double nickel, then on to 62.

I can't worry over it, it's GOING TO HAPPEN. I hope.

Life is 90% what happens to you, and 10% how you deal with it.

So deal.
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Old 09-09-2017, 12:01 PM
 
575 posts, read 636,816 times
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There's absolutely nothing to 'get over'. Life is a series of stages including highs, lows, joys, sorrows and, hopefully, a good measure of personal growth along the way. This includes developing a balance between mind, body and spirit that sustains you through the flow of it all..

Aging 'gracefully' involves some conscious effort combined with some decent genetics and a bit of good luck thrown in, as well. If you focus your worries over your future decline in physical attractiveness, I guarantee that you'll be frustrated and possibly miserable. Our bodies change - no way around it.

A good sense of humor goes a long way.

OP, it would behoove you to make some intergenerational friendships. When I was your age, I had a beloved supervisor in her late 60's, a valued neighbor in her mid 70's and my wonderful, 85 year old grandmother. All of these women taught me something about the art of staying strong and purposeful. They were attractive, resilient and never stopped evolving.
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Old 09-09-2017, 12:02 PM
 
1,943 posts, read 1,334,760 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oldgardener View Post
My husband, on the other hand, thinks losing one's looks is horrible. He has yet to accept that we're both old and wrinkled. He hates it and dwells on it constantly. Ah well.
I've always found this thinking a bit perplexing. There are getting to be more seniors than young people. Does this mean a subset of seniors find other seniors physically unattractive or hideous and don't want to associate with other seniors because looks fade? Do older people need validation from younger people or something?

I can imagine it harder for attractive men and women who are used to the constant attention in their youth. Is it less gratifying receiving attention from those who are your age and older?
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Old 09-09-2017, 12:29 PM
 
13,040 posts, read 15,379,198 times
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Seems like aging speeds up after menopause. I look at pictures of myself from 2008 when I had my first menopausal symptoms and I look really young! Wish I could stay the way I was at that age. I do love not having periods, though.


There is nothing you can do about getting older, but luckily I think most people get to the point that they don't care what anyone else thinks. Life isn't all about looks.


In some ways, though, I think I look better than when I was younger. My hair has lightened (not gray) and I like it better. I used to spend time in the sun to get this color.

Last edited by luzianne; 09-09-2017 at 12:51 PM..
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Old 09-09-2017, 12:38 PM
 
4,249 posts, read 8,135,828 times
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To answer the original question, the nature will help you in getting over it. Presbyopia kicks in after the age 40 (loss of near focusing ability), - so you won't be able to see your own fine lines, blemishes, and uneven brows. (lol). Then your waist will increase, so you will shift to elastic waists/larger sizes. Then your skin will get drier and drier, so you will either be hunting for creams, or, alternatively, kicking up your fitness regimen. The level of laziness will also increase, so it is not known what will win - the couch or the gym. Then the lumps of cellulite will calcify under your skin and will not leave, even if you try to lose weight (you might end up as a skeleton with lumps of fat). You will want to start having more frequent naps, so you will have less daytime to think of all those things though. See, it all will be gradual and painless.
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Old 09-09-2017, 01:01 PM
 
2,222 posts, read 1,094,492 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman View Post
I've always found this thinking a bit perplexing. There are getting to be more seniors than young people. Does this mean a subset of seniors find other seniors physically unattractive or hideous and don't want to associate with other seniors because looks fade? Do older people need validation from younger people or something?

I can imagine it harder for attractive men and women who are used to the constant attention in their youth. Is it less gratifying receiving attention from those who are your age and older?
I find it perplexing as well. Yes, my husband finds older people to be unattractive. His sister is the same way. She has had so much cosmetic surgery and Botox and other things done to her that she looks like a mannequin, but she loves it because she doesn't look old, and my husband thinks it's great. I think they got this attitude from their mother, who fought aging tooth and nail. They both want admiration and attention from young people, and they both shun people their own age. They can't seem to let their youth go, they cling to it.

I don't have that attitude at all, and I find older people to be more attractive as I age.
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Old 09-09-2017, 01:03 PM
 
4,343 posts, read 6,052,492 times
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I like my face as well as the rest of me. I'm 67 and I don't compare myself to anyone else or even to my younger self. I'm doing the best I can do, I don't go overboard, just soap and water and good food and exercise. I'm happy with my life.
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Old 09-09-2017, 02:09 PM
 
Location: on the wind
7,072 posts, read 2,899,892 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
Believe me, there is nothing trumped up about sitting in a nice, air-conditioned 73 degree conference room in a business meeting and suddenly you feel the back of your hair getting damp and your face gets hot, like when you are super embarrassed. Then you feel the sweat running down your entire scalp, dripping from your nose and chin (yes, DRIPPING) onto the table or papers in front of you. Then you feel the back of your blouse clinging to your back with sweat that runs down into your fanny crack. Your armpits are drenched. Your makeup smears, and your mascara starts to run if you touch your face, so you try not to wipe your face but you are beet red, and people are starting to stare and look at you like "Are you alright?". Now have this happen up to 20 times per day, when it never happened once in your life before age 51. Or at least not if you weren't out working in 100 degree heat.

Or you wake up in bed, in a 74 degree room, lying on top of the sheets and you have to get up and turn on the fan and take off your soaking wet PJ's and lie under the fan until you stop sweating, but now you're freezing and clammy, and then you have to get up and turn off the fan, and get under the now damp sheets. Then you wake up about 2 hours later, kick off the sheets, and do it all over again. We finally had to install a remote for the fan because my getting up 5 times a night to turn the fan on and off was keeping DH awake.
Ah, the memories. The stuffy conference room sauna events were the worst because other people who didn't know you would get concerned. Not to one-up you, but be glad you didn't have to go through it all twice. Once due to hormone-blocking chemo (lasted for the 5 year protocol) and then all over again years later. The first round was a pretty good rehearsal for the real thing, except that I wasn't wearing a hot itchy wig that time.
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Old 09-09-2017, 03:06 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,879 posts, read 25,302,878 times
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I can imagine there would be a feeling of loss if I had been beautiful when I was young. But I wasn't. You can't lose what you never had.
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