U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 09-13-2017, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,026 posts, read 54,523,130 times
Reputation: 66369

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
I think a woman can occasionally be a little wistful about not being as attractive as in younger years without being described and exaggerated as "clutching so desperately to one's youth and looks" and "having a fragile identity".

Women can have a ton of positive interests that occupy their brain and life (I do), and a well-developed intellect and/or personality, and still occasionally feel a little wistful about one's looks.
Of course. But the OP does not sound merely wistful.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-13-2017, 03:05 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,026 posts, read 54,523,130 times
Reputation: 66369
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Yeah you are right,but i am looking at some other posts on this forum and a large percentage of them did!

So some posters misunderstood my comment about unattractive women and getting older.

I notice in these getting older threads that nobody ADMITS to being unattractive when younger.


Everyone always was super attractive and lost their looks.

SO why cant the opposite happen?
Because people refuse to believe that some older women look better in their older years than they did when younger.

WHy is THAT so hard to understand?
Well, I will admit to it!

I was never an attractive woman, not even when I was young. It's better now because I look OK for almost-60 because my health is relatively good and the skin and hair hold up well in the women in my family. I don't claim to look younger, but I don't look bad for my age. Also, the same features that made me repulsive to men when I was younger, particularly my height and strong bone structure, go a long way toward looking healthy. I am not frail or stooped or limping.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2017, 03:28 PM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,641,304 times
Reputation: 13548
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
I'm wistful (at times, but not often) for good knees, walking without problems, great mobility, a strong lower back, stamina, considerably less pain, and a lack of osteoarthritis too.
Oh and occasionally wistful for thicker hair 😜 I guess we forge ahead, work around things and try to find other ways to get joy out of this life eh!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2017, 03:30 PM
 
Location: South Florida
195 posts, read 106,149 times
Reputation: 1157
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Well, I will admit to it!

I was never an attractive woman, not even when I was young. It's better now because I look OK for almost-60 because my health is relatively good and the skin and hair hold up well in the women in my family. I don't claim to look younger, but I don't look bad for my age. Also, the same features that made me repulsive to men when I was younger, particularly my height and strong bone structure, go a long way toward looking healthy. I am not frail or stooped or limping.
I'm sorry, but I laughed out loud when I read this. You make it sound like you were some sort of gargoyle. I often think that women who didn't have men fawning over them somehow were led to believe that they were at fault rather than that they just happened to be surrounded by shallow men.

I understand what you are saying about the height because, at 5'10", I was often overlooked by shorter men (no pun intended) but when I met a man that was intelligent and interesting at work or in some situation that gave us a chance to get to know each other better I would eventually ask them if they would ever allow something as random as someone's height keep them from asking someone out. This would give them the go-ahead if they were interested, and if they weren't they could treat it as just one of the many questions I ask when getting to know someone. It worked because I got two short husbands that way (not at the same time).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2017, 03:44 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,026 posts, read 54,523,130 times
Reputation: 66369
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrilbyandDixie View Post
I'm sorry, but I laughed out loud when I read this. You make it sound like you were some sort of gargoyle. I often think that women who didn't have men fawning over them somehow were led to believe that they were at fault rather than that they just happened to be surrounded by shallow men.

I understand what you are saying about the height because, at 5'10", I was often overlooked by shorter men (no pun intended) but when I met a man that was intelligent and interesting at work or in some situation that gave us a chance to get to know each other better I would eventually ask them if they would ever allow something as random as someone's height keep them from asking someone out. This would give them the go-ahead if they were interested, and if they weren't they could treat it as just one of the many questions I ask when getting to know someone. It worked because I got two short husbands that way (not at the same time).
I am 6'1" (and i do like "overlooked") but I wasn't attractive overall, either. Glasses, wiry, unruly hair at a time when only long straight hair was acceptable, not a pretty face, acne. I was skinny and flat-chested, too. The oily skin worked out well for these days, though!

Can't say that I was surrounded by shallow men because NO ONE asked me out. It couldn't have been because all these men were shallow. It was because I was ugly!

I eventually did find a population of men who didn't care about my looks as much as long as I was fun and could make their lives easier. They are called "alcoholics". I married one. Divorced him, too!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2017, 03:48 PM
 
5,426 posts, read 3,445,259 times
Reputation: 13698
Most people are attracted to beauty in life and in people. I wouldn't say men are 'shallow' for being attracted to beauty.

It's just that women are often more accepting of less than physical beauty in men.

And if men were interested in beauty as a principal attribute above all else, average looking women would not be dating and getting married.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2017, 03:48 PM
 
Location: South Florida
195 posts, read 106,149 times
Reputation: 1157
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I am 6'1" (and i do like "overlooked") but I wasn't attractive overall, either. Glasses, wiry, unruly hair at a time when only long straight hair was acceptable, not a pretty face, acne. I was skinny and flat-chested, too. The oily skin worked out well for these days, though!

Can't say that I was surrounded by shallow men because NO ONE asked me out. It couldn't have been because all these men were shallow. It was because I was ugly!

I eventually did find a population of men who didn't care about my looks as much as long as I was fun and could make their lives easier. They are called "alcoholics". I married one. Divorced him, too!
Well, at least you have kept your sense of humor about it!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2017, 04:19 PM
 
Location: Midvale, Idaho
1,540 posts, read 2,382,897 times
Reputation: 1961
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
shades_of_idaho: Was there a particular diet you used to lose the weight?

My portions are too large, snacks too many, ice cream a real issue. And a very sedentary life.

My first goal is 10 lbs, then 20. Maybe 30. Tho if I could lose 40, that would be amazing.
Well I usually get a lot of flack when I tell this. I will preface with this has been supervised by my doctor with blood tests the whole time. He does not totally understand it but he sees how well I am doing now from when I was so heavy and he says keep it up.

The ONLY foods I eat are meat fish including some canned tuna, eggs, cheese butter a small handful of pumpkin seeds almost every day and some almond milk. NOTHING ELSE. No fruit or veggies snacks ice cream no sugar flour. Basically as zero carb as possible.

One table spoon of potato salad will stall weight loss for two or three weeks. It is not worth it. At first I allowed myself to eat as much as I wanted to no measure weighing I ate until I was no longer hungry. It takes a few weeks for your body to adapt to burning your own body fat for fuel instead of the carbs you put in it like veggies and ice cream. And during this time you tend to feel like crap. I keep a pan of cooked chicken in the fridge all the time If I feel I must have some thing to eat I will cut half a chicken thigh off the bone and just eat it. No harm done you never have to feel hungry. You need to eat enough fat to make this work. So fry the eggs in butter. Once this adaptation happens your hunger is less and you will naturally reduce the amount of food you eat because you are not as hungry. THEN the weight really starts to fall off. When I was actively trying to lose weight I was consuming about 1200 calories a day. Some times less but 1100 to 1200 calories was enough for me. I am very active.
Eating this way bring on so much energy I have a hard time slowing down and now tend to keep busy to the point of exhaustion some times.

Also just going to bed earlier is so beneficial for you. I need to get back into doing this. I have drifted back into staying up way too late.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2017, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Neptune
130 posts, read 83,259 times
Reputation: 221
I have this beauty mark on my neck that people used to compliment me on when I was younger.

Now it's got a grey hair growing out of it.

Three words to the OP: Live, Laugh, Love.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2017, 05:17 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,662 posts, read 3,239,300 times
Reputation: 11932
^^^^^ Thank you, shades-of-idaho. It sounds a little like a diet a friend of mine went on (can't remember the name of it, a person's name I think). She dropped weight like crazy but has put it back on, tried another diet, lost weight, gained it back, I think she might be on her 3rd round. I don't want to repeat this. Once I lose the weight I want to keep it off.

I have wondered about jennie craig plan, don't know anyone who did it. I keep thinking if I can lose weight, i should be able to keep it off without torturing myself.

For now I'm going to try with smaller plate and smaller portions, no bags of salty snacks, no more candy, cookies, and limit myself on the ice cream. I used to think I had to have a dish of ice cream every night. But there is a new Stewart Shoppe a few blocks over where I can get a one-scoop cone or dish once a week, which seems plenty. I think when we diet, we do need an occasional treat.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top