U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 09-20-2017, 05:35 AM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,644,363 times
Reputation: 13548

Advertisements

not right or wrong, just makes you shallow if relationships are depending on this as a major factor,but otherwise people in general have preferences they find attractive. You should be honest about it though with your partners if it's enough to put you off.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-20-2017, 05:36 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,243 posts, read 8,532,850 times
Reputation: 35674
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debnor View Post
Can I ask the ladies here a question? I already made a post regarding me and my OW whom I find very beautiful, but is a guy always in the wrong if he finds a physical aspect of a woman attractive but it drastically changes and finds it unattractive? I am not talking about natural aging but when one does a 180 and a guy finds it unattractive?

A good example would be that I admit to preferring longer hair not just from an aesthetic perspective, but in general, though I wouldn't count a woman out for having shorter hair. But not just for looks but I like it when I am with a woman and she is laying on my lap and I run my fingers through her hair as well. Anyway, an ex gf I had had long hair, down to her waist and I loved it. One day though she said she was going to get a haircut and just said that's cool thinking she was just getting a few inches off, only for her to return later and she had chopped it ALL OFF. Like, if this were the military and women had to have the same hair standards as men she would pass easily. Now, even had she cut it off significantly to say, her shoulders I wouldn't have minded as much but she took it all off and I admit not only did it shock me but I found her less physically attractive. She asked me what I thought and just said "That's...different" and tried to "get used to it" but it still bothered me.

I did break up with her eventually but it wasn't the sole reason by any means.

EDIT: I should add that my ex gf was 28 at the time. My current woman is 20 years older and keeps her hair fairly long.
We all like what we like but hopefully it's not such a fetish thing that you can't get along without that one thing in a person - especially as superficial a thing as that. I'd hate it if my hair was the only reason you stayed!

BTW, long hair can be a huge investment of time and money to keep up so many women decide at some point to cut their hair. Also, as you get older if you are graying the hair is a different consistency and may not "behave" when long - it gets coarse and has a mind of it's own...or your hair thins out (guys, you can relate!) and long hair looks scraggly. So lots of reasons women cut their hair - they aren't doing it just to tick you off! There was a huge thread on this a year or so ago - you can search and find it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 06:22 AM
 
Location: Over yonder a piece
3,910 posts, read 4,650,428 times
Reputation: 6247
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeana View Post
I am still young certainly, but have to admit I worry about getting older. Call me vain but while I know I am no super model by any means, it is something I think about.
I've relaxed as I've gotten older. In my 20s and 30s I was compulsive about how I looked, but now that I'm in my late 40s, I give myself grace.

Some days I wear makeup, some days I don't.

Some days I style my hair, other days I don't.

Some days I wear really nice clothes to work, other days I wear stuff that BARELY meets "business casual" recommendations.

I stay away from magazines and TV shows that try to make women feel "less than" for not being a size 0 or not wearing 6" stiletto heels.

When my hair started going silver about 10 years ago, I STOPPED coloring it and embraced it instead.

I no longer worry about what the scale says, and focus on how I physically feel. My body knows and tells me when it's time to lose a few pounds, or exercise more, and I listen.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 06:34 AM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,644,363 times
Reputation: 13548
I'd hate to married to someone whose ability to enjoy me and attraction is dependent on long hair or on the superficial.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 06:51 AM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,435 posts, read 1,669,408 times
Reputation: 8693
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharpydove View Post
Well, aren't you lucky! This is exactly what I was writing about. Women are so mean to each other. No supporting; just judging.
Just realize your experience is not the normal and for some of us it is a different journey, including suffering with health issues.
My experience has been the same as hers.

How can you say other people are not normal and then call them them the judgememtal ones when they are just relating their own experience?

Last edited by jean_ji; 09-20-2017 at 07:01 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 06:52 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
25,031 posts, read 23,924,861 times
Reputation: 30922
Default How did you get over getting old?

I worked on it one day or one week at a time. I'm not terribly old, but I'm no longer some hot young thing who turns heads. I'm OK with that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 07:43 AM
 
6,317 posts, read 5,058,385 times
Reputation: 12831
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy View Post
not right or wrong, just makes you shallow if relationships are depending on this as a major factor,but otherwise people in general have preferences they find attractive. You should be honest about it though with your partners if it's enough to put you off.
women have their "standards" also. I do anyway. No long scraggly unkempt hair or beards. Must also not be more than 20 lbs overweight.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 11:17 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,673 posts, read 19,975,978 times
Reputation: 45740
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debnor View Post
Can I ask the ladies here a question? I already made a post regarding me and my OW whom I find very beautiful, but is a guy always in the wrong if he finds a physical aspect of a woman attractive but it drastically changes and finds it unattractive? I am not talking about natural aging but when one does a 180 and a guy finds it unattractive?

A good example would be that I admit to preferring longer hair not just from an aesthetic perspective, but in general, though I wouldn't count a woman out for having shorter hair. But not just for looks but I like it when I am with a woman and she is laying on my lap and I run my fingers through her hair as well. Anyway, an ex gf I had had long hair, down to her waist and I loved it. One day though she said she was going to get a haircut and just said that's cool thinking she was just getting a few inches off, only for her to return later and she had chopped it ALL OFF. Like, if this were the military and women had to have the same hair standards as men she would pass easily. Now, even had she cut it off significantly to say, her shoulders I wouldn't have minded as much but she took it all off and I admit not only did it shock me but I found her less physically attractive. She asked me what I thought and just said "That's...different" and tried to "get used to it" but it still bothered me.

I did break up with her eventually but it wasn't the sole reason by any means.

EDIT: I should add that my ex gf was 28 at the time. My current woman is 20 years older and keeps her hair fairly long.

You like what you like, I don't think that can really be changed. There was a thread on women who cut their hair and whether the man has any say, boy THAT was fun!!

I was in the minority that I think any dramatic change in look, kinda should be discussed with your mate. Sure you have the right, to do whatever you want, but you are in a partnership. DH likes long hair, so I probably wouldn't cut it. But I like it too so it's an easier "decision" for me....
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 11:27 AM
 
3,373 posts, read 3,785,425 times
Reputation: 4189
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debnor View Post
Can I ask the ladies here a question? I already made a post regarding me and my OW whom I find very beautiful, but is a guy always in the wrong if he finds a physical aspect of a woman attractive but it drastically changes and finds it unattractive? I am not talking about natural aging but when one does a 180 and a guy finds it unattractive?

A good example would be that I admit to preferring longer hair not just from an aesthetic perspective, but in general, though I wouldn't count a woman out for having shorter hair. But not just for looks but I like it when I am with a woman and she is laying on my lap and I run my fingers through her hair as well. Anyway, an ex gf I had had long hair, down to her waist and I loved it. One day though she said she was going to get a haircut and just said that's cool thinking she was just getting a few inches off, only for her to return later and she had chopped it ALL OFF. Like, if this were the military and women had to have the same hair standards as men she would pass easily. Now, even had she cut it off significantly to say, her shoulders I wouldn't have minded as much but she took it all off and I admit not only did it shock me but I found her less physically attractive. She asked me what I thought and just said "That's...different" and tried to "get used to it" but it still bothered me.

I did break up with her eventually but it wasn't the sole reason by any means.

EDIT: I should add that my ex gf was 28 at the time. My current woman is 20 years older and keeps her hair fairly long.
This happened to me too. But I was the girl and he was the boy. And it was the 70's.
I just figured I was young, and apparently it wasn't "meant to be", or it wouldn't have mattered to me.
BTW, I ran into this guy many many years later, and he's now bald!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Orlando
1,992 posts, read 2,637,223 times
Reputation: 7583
I haven't gotten over it. Several months ago, I turned 70, and that number horrifies me. It sounds so OLD. I'm healthy, I take care of myself and my appearance, and my life is enjoyable, but since turning 70 I have just felt old. I can't stand to look at my naked body in the mirror any more, and I'm damn sure not going to show it to anyone else outside of a medical context.

It's funny, my mother is 95, and she said she didn't start to feel old until she turned 90. She said 89 wasn't bad, but when she turned 90, she suddenly felt old. I guess for me it happened 20 years younger.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top