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Old 09-17-2017, 10:19 PM
 
26,589 posts, read 52,294,382 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clikrf8 View Post

We still enjoy being with other and are each other's best friend. He is still nice looking but what I like about him are these qualities: sense of humor, capable (can fix anything), sense of adventure, and ability to understand the complex person that I am. He's not perfect: bossy at times, sarcastic, and impatient. These manifested themselves after he retired. I call him on it when he is out of line.
.
Understanding is often easily discounted when it is really very important.
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Old 09-17-2017, 10:20 PM
 
26,589 posts, read 52,294,382 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
I can tell you the older I get, the pickier I get.
Me too... often I simply enjoy my own company and my own pace.
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Old 09-17-2017, 11:45 PM
 
13,319 posts, read 25,561,639 times
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Having lived a very atypical life and now 64 (never married, never wanted kids, moved around, had different careers/jobs) I would fear a man my own age or older as not being feminist enough for me. I mean, I'd learn how to cook or something if it really mattered to a good man, but I probably wouldn't be like his first/late wife, you know?

As for "funny," and so forth, I find I like the presence of a man who makes me feel quiet inside. The funniest people I've known (and I've known some very good ones!) often use humor to make distance, as if they're always thinking of being funny rather than thinking in general or listening.

Smart, yes. My ideal, a smart working-class guy who reads and thinks. As for honesty, I wasn't thinking of outright lying, which of course is no good. I mean someone who knows himself, is self-honest. He can't be more honest with me than he is with himself. So that means some degree of self-awareness.
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Old 09-18-2017, 05:18 AM
 
911 posts, read 530,692 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
I wanted to add one more thing that retired women also consider regarding a possible new mate. And that's ending up being his caregiver. This is something that would not be limited to straight couples. But, I've heard this brought up many times in girl talk over coffee with other retired women regarding being lonely and thinking about getting married again, etc. They often were the caregiver of a spouse that died, and don't want to go through it again.
This is very true. Being a caregiver to a new husband is a very real possibility. Of my parents' friends who have passed away, the widows with money never remarried. They put their focus on traveling with friends or family and spending time with their kids and grandkids. Yes, it can happen to a man too, but I've seen it way more often with women.
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Old 09-18-2017, 06:06 AM
 
Location: NC
6,555 posts, read 7,977,981 times
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Interesting discussion. But why is this in the Retirement forum? It has nothing to do with retirement per se and the poster is neither a senior nor retired.
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Old 09-18-2017, 06:58 AM
 
26,589 posts, read 52,294,382 times
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The former Hospital CEO and one of the Founders lost her husband after 3 year battle with cancer...

She was 70 and full of life with 3 bio kids and 2 adopted and many grand kids... she was set financially...

Anyway, she went on a cruise and met the second love of her life... EVERYONE was skeptical... Bill had also recently lost wife of 50 years.

They celebrated 10 years of marriage and fantastic would be an understatement... they travel a lot and he in his 80's is a very active skier... she kept her home and all and he kept his home and all in another State and they split time between California and Washington...

At her 80th party with 200 sit down guests there was not a dry eye in the house as his tribute was so heart felt and elegant...

As for medical... she is the one that has had some issues and not her 2 year old husband...

Boy did the alarms go out when we all heard about her ship board romance... friends were most concerned but it all turned out for naught... her Husband spent decades as a builder and was set for life but deeply grieving for his loss.

If anything their marriage bolstered both retirements many times and they are very frequent Alaska Airline flyers!
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Old 09-18-2017, 10:13 AM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 20 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,485 posts, read 14,320,905 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv4horses View Post
Interesting discussion. But why is this in the Retirement forum? It has nothing to do with retirement per se and the poster is neither a senior nor retired.
Because the retirement forum has been deemed an appropriate place to discuss general topics to do with aging (Please, don't report all general threads as off topic) and OP was curious to know if viewpoints on what's desirable in other people change as we age.
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Old 09-18-2017, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,737,509 times
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What I value in a person is the ability to recognize that there is a rational, objective truth which exists outside of and independently of one's own emotional field. Lots of people are not even aware of that as something to strive for; it is just totally foreign to them.


We see it illustrated in so many of the discussions here on City-Data. Someone writes something that someone else doesn't like or disagrees with, and instead of a rational rebuttal we get name-calling which is clearly designed to put the other person down and which may have no relation to the ideas or content being responded to.
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Old 09-18-2017, 11:20 AM
 
2,235 posts, read 1,102,902 times
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Humor, intelligence, and caring have always been at the top of my list of desired traits. Beauty and wealth were never on my list, even when I was young. But, as another poster above pointed out, a lot of men are high maintenance to begin with, and many retired women don't need or want that in their lives anymore.
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Old 09-18-2017, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts
6,105 posts, read 7,264,857 times
Reputation: 4485
Willing to do the work, inside and out. Even if efforts don't succeed that they at least try, not take the easy road.
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